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Showing posts with label love self help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love self help. Show all posts

Saturday, June 23, 2012

enjoying life on life terms



Hi blog family!


don't forget my book price has been lowered because shipping is expensive and i would give it for free if i could find a way!! www.createspace.com/3587372 for your copy!

How do we enjoy life on life terms after abandonment, abuse, neglect and for some, no family?

Like NIKE says: JUST DO IT!!
There is nothing stopping you from enjoying the VERY moment you are in!

 You decide if you will be angry, mad, violent, sad, depressed, lonely or not active in your own life!!
When you wake each day thank the creator for your life, for it is special and meant for divine purpose!
If a family member, friend, spouse, mate or worker is treating you wrong OR your clashing every time you talk or meet---ITS ONLY MIS-COMMNICAT-ION!!! = THEY ARE NOT HEARING WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING OR UNDERSTANDING THE MESSAGE THEY WANT TO GIVE!!
No matter if mean mother-in-law
child that won't listen
spouse that hurts you (although they have other issues...control, learned behavior or reaction from an action they saw as a child)
Find ways to accept your family member for what and who they are (even the bad, (unless they are hurting others physically)
find ways to deal with your boss who is a control freak, accept WHATEVER others  flaws may be, because if you dig deep, we all have some.

*** It is NOT our job to CHANGE anyone, each lesson in life is different for ALL of us!!! No one can learn MY lesson and I CANNOT, repeat, CANNOT learn another's lesson!!!!!!

If you remember this fact, life will be way easier and less chasing, arguing, proving, groaning, and analyzing wrong doers!!!
Live on life terms (as they say in the rooms)lol.. meet ALL people, places & things.....WHERE THEY ARE AT!! ENJOY TODAY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW, LOVE YOUR LOUD FRIEND AND SUGGEST THEY JOIN THE THEATER...LOL... JK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....:) ENJOY LIFE, YOU ONLY GET ONE!! PLAN WELL FOR YOU, NOT OTHERS AND LIFE WILL BE A JOY!! XOXO

PS. SMILE SOMEONE IS WATCHING YOU!!!! (AND LEARNING)..:)
TANYA

Saturday, October 1, 2011

I think we can make it

Hi blog family!

When times are ruff, and you will be challenged, hold your head high, breath and know that ...this to shall pass!
Whatever you are going thru is NEVER that bad, it aint over until the last breath, so live life with joy, even when times are ruff, smile at everyone, even when they don't deserve one, say something kind, you may save or change a life! xo

You are loved and needed!! xo
Tanya
FOR ALL MY RUSSIAN ORPHANS AND THOSE WHO WERE IN FOSTER CARE......

Я думаю, что мы можем сделать это Привет семья blog! Когда времена - ерш, и Вам будут бросать вызов, держать вашу голову высоко, дыхание и знать, что ... это к должно пройти! Независимо от того, что Вы идете через, НИКОГДА НЕ то, что плохо, это aint, законченный до последнего дыхания, так живут жизнью от радости, даже когда времена - ерш, улыбнитесь каждому, даже когда они не заслуживают один, говорят кое-что вид, Вы можете спасти или изменить жизнь! xo Вы любимы и нуждавшийся!! xo Танья

Friday, September 23, 2011

getting back to the basics in a chaotic world

Hi blog family!!
these cupcakes look good right, especially the one on the left with all the "stuff"...news flash, the one on the right is just as good, if not better because it is basic, one less thing to worry about being fattening...keep reading..


It has been a while, lost 6 friends under 47 years old the last two months!! R.I.P: Tommy, Ann, Rob Jr., Dr. Engle, D's little sis, and Danielle....

Made me remember what is really important in this life and ask myself a series of questions:
 what am I really here for?
How can I grow after life in foster care?
 How can I help others in care?
If I died tomorrow, what legacy have I imprint have I left?

In a world full of chaos it is easy to get lost and become a "yes" person--even to the wrong people, places and things in life. It is easy to become a "worry wart"-especially after foster care!

The economy is out of whack, people have LOST their minds, (killing babies, wives, husbands for insurance, drug use, tax frauds like Madoff), the PEOPLE in the WORLD have "lost their minds so to speak!! WHY?
The are trying to KEEP UP with the "Jones"...instead of working with what they have!!

 What does this have to do with foster care, aging out?
When you left there were many issues you DID not have to face, many family topics, relationships, survival skills.
 I started this blog so that you could face those issues on your own, on your terms. So that you know, you are NOT in the twilight-you are in this world to learn lessons and move on.
You don't have time to worry about what Good or bad happened to so and so....Deal with (not worry) YOU! What issues do I need to face that keep coming up in my life after foster care?
What can I do to get help with my income/budget: (therapy, talk with a social worker, attend support groups?)
What will make ME a BETTER person that enjoys THIS life!
 Better to ALL mankind, better than my parents, what will lead me to the greatness I am?
These are the questions you should be asking yourself in this chaotic world.
NOT getting nervous or worried.
Whatever ground work you lay, it will be.
If you do not know how to save money....you may be broke!
If you do not know how to communicate with ALL people, you will have problems with your coworkers, boss and friends!
If you do not know what makes YOU happy and unhappy, you will stay miserable!
Learn what makes you tick, why you are unique, why you were put on this beautiful earth! There is divine purpose for EVERYONE...
Most important ...know the basics of life: survival of the fittest....
1.   keep your mind strong and sharp by reading, writing, exercising and meditating/praying for guidance, strength to always DO the RIGHT thing, even when others love the wrong! Don't follow these celebrity's, they are out for a buck and WILL not care if you go wrong...
2.   Love: find friends, a mate, someone to truly accept and love you for who you are. Love is amazing, it can be a great remedy for past pain! Learn to love you, if you don't know one else can!! You are the best invention since Swiss cheese!! lol...
 Love can also soften you up after years of not letting anyone near your heart..
3.   Learn to Lol...Laugh out loud...at yourself!!
who cares if you got it wrong..or didn't get it!.do it again tomorrow!!!
If you are not dead, you can start all over!!
This is the beauty of life, until its your time, you can do better the next day!!
Laughing cures the blues, I think it is the best medicine for depression or anger...throw on a Martin re-run CD and you will be laughing...
Nothing in life, is that serious and if it is, you can't change it so learn to breath and laugh!
4. Exercise, meditate (to keep your mind pure from all the garbage going in from fb, YouTube, friends, associates, negative people, TV...)..eat to live, not because there if food! When you shop ask yourself: was this in the garden of Eden?
You will save SO much on grocery bill AND be healthier eating more veggies and smaller portions of meat (if any)..
Your mind and your body have to be right if you want to keep away from the world chaos; pollution is there, bad people, situations WILL test you BUT if you keep your mind and body healthy....it will have less of an impact on YOU as a person.

Remember: When the building is built with a sound structure, nothing can tear it down!! Concentrate on the whole you and how to be better and more efficient! It should not matter what is going on in the next house, worry about how to sustain YOUR house!! Appreciage you and ALL you have (not what you don't have)..
Aging out of foster care is easy, just turn 18 or 21....like I said at my last speech, it is sustaining yourself IN the mist of a storm--- that will be your real test!! You were built for endurance, look at your ancestors!

You are a winner
You are kind
Gracious,
loving 
and NEEDED by this universe, go save or change a life with your smile today!
 xo Tanya

Saturday, July 30, 2011

happy with your life?

Hi blog family!

I hope all of my teens are enjoying the summer, reading, doing activitys that are outdoors, so you can get your natural vitamin D!! For those of us that are older, are you REALLY enjoying your life? are you at a good place in life? Are you being worn down by old problems; neglect abandonment or abuse?

No worry!! The good news is: ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE IT!! No matter what the issue is that caused the problem. If you are not happy in your life and need change--DO IT!! Nike has the best commercial saying for this!! Change starts within YOU!! The person who neglected, abused or abandoned you may move forward with their life and you need to find closure via therapy, self help books or your religion (no clans or kooks pls..lol...).. find your inner strength and let it guide you to change your life from within: thinking how did being in foster care effect you, however long you were in care, that's how long you need to work, it is ongoing progress!! You can change anything in your life with an instant thought and action!!! Tired of being broke....invent something that will get you paid!! tired of abusive relationships....kick them to the curb and only settle for a mate who meets your standards! tired of bum friends, find new ones who motivate and inspire you!!! life is a lesson for us all and one thing i learned, I am in control of my destiny-at all times!!! take action today!! xo
you are loved!!!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Wallace D. Wattles--on getting rich chapt 10


hi blog family!
this was taken from Wallace D. Wattles, a great thinker who stated there is a science to getting rich..this is just some of the book..you can read it for free google and search....
I want foster kids to stop believing life "will get better when they get to heaven" (often taught in our churches growing up)...your heaven is now and YOU will be the source of your richness!!! think big, choose wisely and never compete!!! You are a creator with vision not a follower and not like any other!! xo Tanya

You must want real life, not mere pleasure of sensual gratification. Life is the performance of function; and the individual really lives only when he performs every function, physical, mental, and spiritual, of which he is capable, without excess in any.
You do not want to get rich in order to live swinishly, for the gratification of animal desires; that is not life. But the performance of every physical function is a part of life, and no one lives completely who denies the impulses of the body a normal and healthful expression.
You do not want to get rich solely to enjoy mental pleasures, to get knowledge, to gratify ambition, to outshine others, to be famous. All these are a legitimate part of life, but the man who lives for the pleasures of the intellect alone will only have a partial life, and he will never be satisfied with his lot.
You do not want to get rich solely for the good of others, to lose yourself for the salvation of mankind, to experience the joys of philanthropy and sacrifice. The joys of the soul are only a part of life; and they are no better or nobler than any other part.
You want to get rich in order that you may eat, drink, and be merry when it is time to do these things; in order that you may surround yourself with beautiful things, see distant lands, feed your mind, and develop your intellect; in order that you may love men and do kind things, and be able to play a good part in helping the world to find truth.
But remember that extreme altruism is no better and no nobler than extreme selfishness; both are mistakes.
Get rid of the idea that God wants you to sacrifice yourself for others, and that you can secure his favor by doing so; God requires nothing of the kind.
What he wants is that you should make the most of yourself, for yourself, and for others; and you can help others more by making the most of yourself than in any other way.
You can make the most of yourself only by getting rich; so it is right and praiseworthy that you should give your first and best thought to the work of acquiring wealth.
Remember, however, that the desire of Substance is for all, and its movements must be for more life to all; it cannot be made to work for less life to any, because it is equally in all, seeking riches and life.
Intelligent Substance will make things for you, but it will not take things away from some one else and give them to you.
You must get rid of the thought of competition. You are to create, not to compete for what is already created.
You do not have to take anything away from any one.
You do not have to drive sharp bargains.
You do not have to cheat, or to take advantage. You do not need to let any man work for you for less than he earns.
You do not have to covet the property of others, or to look at it with wishful eyes; no man has anything of which you cannot have the like, and that without taking what he has away from him.
You are to become a creator, not a competitor; you are going to get what you want, but in such a way that when you get it every other man will have more than he has now.
I am aware that there are men who get a vast amount of money by proceeding in direct opposition to the statements in the paragraph above, and may add a word of explanation here. Men of the plutocratic type, who become very rich, do so sometimes purely by their extraordinary ability on the plane of competition; and sometimes they unconsciously relate themselves to Substance in its great purposes and movements for the general racial upbuilding through industrial evolution. Rockefeller, Carnegie, Morgan, et al., have been the unconscious agents of the Supreme in the necessary work of systematizing and organizing productive industry; and in the end, their work will contribute immensely toward increased life for all. Their day is nearly over; they have organized production, and will soon be succeeded by the agents of the multitude, who will organize the machinery of distribution.
The multi-millionaires are like the monster reptiles of the prehistoric eras; they play a necessary part in the evolutionary process, but the same Power which produced them will dispose of them. And it is well to bear in mind that they have never been really rich; a record of the private lives of most of this class will show that they have really been the most abject and wretched of the poor.
Riches secured on the competitive plane are never satisfactory and permanent; they are yours to-day, and another's tomorrow. Remember, if you are to become rich in a scientific and certain way, you must rise entirely out of the competitive thought. You must never think for a moment that the supply is limited. Just as soon as you begin to think that all the money is being "cornered" and controlled by bankers and others, and that you must exert yourself to get laws passed to stop this process, and so on; in that moment you drop into the competitive mind, and your power to cause creation is gone for the time being; and what is worse, you will probably arrest the creative movements you have already instituted.
KNOW that there are countless millions of dollars' worth of gold in the mountains of the earth, not yet brought to light; and know that if there were not, more would be created from Thinking Substance to supply your needs.
KNOW that the money you need will come, even if it is necessary for a thousand men to be led to the discovery of new gold mines to-morrow.
Never look at the visible supply; look always at the limitless riches in Formless Substance, and KNOW that they are coming to you as fast as you can receive and use them. Nobody, by cornering the visible supply, can prevent you from getting what is yours.
So never allow yourself to think for an instant that all the best building spots will be taken before you get ready to build your house, unless you hurry. Never worry about the trusts and combines, and get anxious for fear they will soon come to own the whole earth. Never get afraid that you will lose what you want because some other person "beats you to it." That cannot possibly happen; you are not seeking any thing that is possessed by anybody else; you are causing what you want to be created from formless Substance, and the supply is without limits. Stick to the formulated statement:--
There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.
A thought, in this substance, produces the thing that is imaged by the thought.
Man can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Each day gets better

Hi blog family!!

today will be better than yesterday...if you are blessed to wake you have chance to make anything better! encourage someone today, say a kind word, offer help to someone less fortunate, whatever you do - DO something to make the world better today!! xo Tanya
smile, someone is watching you, and you may save or change their lives xxoo
I hope if u will be in town, come here me speak May 18th Free!!!

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD”
COME CELEBRATE NATIONAL FOSTER KIDS MONTH!
When: Wednesday - MAY 18TH
Time:      4:30PM - 6:45pm (Refreshments 4:30-5:30pm)
Where:  The Mount Kisco Public Library 
100 E. Main Street, Mount Kisco, NY 10549
 (Conference Room 2nd floor)
  • Motivational Speaker, Tanya Cooper, will be, sharing her experience in foster care, raising awareness on foster care issues, tell why fostering and adopting older kids is important, how we can help and read an excerpt from her new self help book for teens :  Surviving Foster Care And Making It Work For You!
  • Awarding a youth aging out with The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!
  • One local Senior citizen will be recognized for helping youth! 
  • Q & A from audience 
  • RSVP Reply to: tgirlcooper@yahoo.com 
  • Visit our blogs of encouragement- GOOGLE: Fosterkidsunite, Exfosterkidsunite 
  • fosterparentsonly.blogspot.com and fosterkidsonly.blogspot.com

Thursday, April 28, 2011

book link AND self love

Hi blog family-
My book is finally available!! https://www.createspace.com/3587372
any agency that buys more than 50 copies- i will come and do a book signing AND Free workshop--just get me there!!!

Ok i am still searching for a publisher- but if you know me, that cannot stop me from sharing this book with the 450,000 or so teens in foster care! 

Never let anyone or anything stop your message or pure intention to help save or change a life!!!!

I speak to all of you today, in group home, left, foster parent...teach our kids to LOVE themselves and to HELP others who may be in the same situation.....other foster kids! Reach one teach one- the system only gets better when WE help each other and take control of our lives--mentally and physically!!!

We all have divine purpose, as i often say, what is yours? How can your agency or foster parents help you find your purpose? By: listening--you talking about painting, biking, singing etc... all the time,  when a kid practices something on his/her own ALL the time...chances are they are going toward that purpose...

understand that my gift is not your gift so there is NEVER any competition!! What you do- you do- what I do- I do...Mariah Carey sings different than Adel...but both are brilliant and touch many souls with their singing.....you get the point

Listen to YOU - Parents- listen to your child- teach your child to listen and follow their own instincts...it will lead them to their true gift, which will help them fulfill their divine purpose!!

You are loved, special and needed by this universe to do something great!!! smile, someone is watching you!! xo Tanya

Saturday, April 23, 2011

what is YOUR grade-making your holidays better



hi blog family!
Hope you are enjoying your vacation if your in school...and still keeping your mind fresh reading a new book every month (atleast)...
and if your not in school but left foster care, I hope you are building a new "Holiday" ritual for yourself and your future family...that means whatever you hated about the holidays...(no family, no home visits, no one to visit etc...)..
YOU are now in charge to do whatever you want.
.today my kids and I went to the Brooklyn museum then a friend took us to eat Mexican dinner..
then we walked around Brooklyn..this is OUR holiday..
 it could be in church sunday and then dinner,
it could be sitting at your house with you cooking or potluck, everyone brings something to eat...
most important...you enjoy that time as "family or "friends that are like family...
whatever as long as YOU enjoy it and stop saying "I hate holidays"....most people hate them because it did not go the way they wanted in childhood---fix it, this is your life, you can fix issues like bad holidays and make it better ..if you have no family...find GOOD friends who really care about you, and celebrate with them!!! Angels are waiting everywhere to help you find your destiny!!xo Tanya

I will leave you with something my friend Tar wrote (gotta give credit)..but first.... know that you are loved and special...and the world NEEDS you to stay on your A game...without YOU this world will be different!! smile, someone is watching you!

If YOU evaluated your last week... how would YOU rate it. How did YOU advance yourself? What did YOU learn? Did YOU help anyone else other than yourself? What are YOU doing to develop into the Person YOU always wanted to be? Settling should never be an option! I give myself a C+... I can do better. If YOU can't be honest with yourself... what kind of future do you expect?- taken from my friend Tar

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Action

hi blog family!!

May is National Foster kids month! I will be kicking it off with a scholorship ceremony! Somone aging out of foster care will recieve The Robert Cooper memorial scholorship! If your in town, don't miss it- May 18th...The Mount Kisco public library- 4:30pm

So i thought I would find encouraging words for you today or something to make you think..here is one..


‎"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided." ~Tony Robbins


have a great day, and smile, someone is watching you!! You may save or change a life! Tanya

Saturday, April 2, 2011

What can YOU do to create positive change




Hi blog family!!

May is National Foster Kids month!!

After thinking for a long time I decided two things:
1. If you want something done- do it yourself
2. Don't wait for fame, fortune or others to take action, be like NIKE, JUST DO IT!!

 Have you ever wanted to help people so bad but you were not really in a position to do so?

 I often think how can I help, when I myself am not where i want to be?
 Well I thought about it and taking action will sometimes cause a REaction, that will turn into what you wanted!
Sometimes, after being in foster care for so long not only do you have to re-learn how to make decisions, but you must also learn to act on your gut and trust it will steer you to your goal.

 Always wanted to help kids in foster care.
When I was younger I wanted to be famous like Johnny Carson or Lucielle Ball, not for vanity but because I saw that EVERYONE wants to help a star!
I also saw that people made things happen when you are known.
Oprah was able to build a school!!
Jay-Z built a water irrigation system in a remote part of Africa!!
Mother Teressa helped the orphans of Calcutta!
 When I was younger, that was the power of fame!

Now that I am (a little):) bit older...and  wiser, I realize I could still help kids in foster care.
The universe is MY experience (meaning yours), which means I have many mistakes to make but I also was given many talents and skills.
 I learned that I can help kids right now with no money down!!!
For years I thought I could not make a change without money or fame, I cried alot thinking I did not want another kid in foster care to feel depressed, lonely,  or feeling less than,  for years I was wrong.....
Since I realized this I have:

written a self help book for foster Teens
created 3 workshops just to deal with issues faced in care
traveled around the states speaking to hundreds of kids!
saved and changed a few lives....which was my original goal!!

Lesson: you can make positive change in ANYTHING you see that is NOT right, just make a plan and start doing it, don't contemplate if a message came from your heart to help others, just take action, the universe will send you angels to help you see it through, but first you must start!! WE all have gifts and talents, imagine if we "reach one teach one"...."what a wonderful world" (two fav quotes)
xo Tanya
ps. smile, someone may be watching you and your smile may save or change a life!!!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

How deep is your pain for motivation

Hi blog family!

I mentioned before that your habits are only as good as your tolerance for pain. Some of us learn by our pain levels.
When you were a kid you did not touch the stove because you knew you would get burned, (because at some point you put your hand next to it and found out it was HOT)...
now think of this example for everything you want to change in your life.
Bad relationship,
overeating,
no career/job
bad friends
no friends
.. If you find out what level of pain you are willing to live with, you will find your motivator!

Now the exception is: some people may actually have mental disorders that require medications...(if you think you will hurt yourself, someone else or just stop  enjoying life..you may need therapy and they will decide if you need more.
I am NOT talking about this type of person!
I am talking about those that may have grew up in a group home or a home with NO structure, deadlines,
 boundries....
so you may not eat, eat too much- even when the doctor is telling you its killing you, may not excersize, you may do things, you know will make your mental and physical health bad....(smoking)
YOU DO THIS BECAUSE YOU DID NOT SET A LEVEL OF PAIN THAT WOULD STOP YOU WHEN IT HURTS SO BAD!!!!
I want you to think of your most painful moment, remember it, use this memory to motivate you NOT to do the same thing you did before!! Set up a plan to get out of debt, don't get more credit cards!
let go of your abusive partner, don't marry them and have kids!! (this is harder than it seems but you can go to places like my sisters place and other woman's safe haven from abuse)
if you are overweight and the doctor says your diabetes is because of it, SET up a workout plan, walk 5 miles a day..it cost NO money, its free to walk...get rid of your bread, pasta and rice.... only good carbs!! If your children are acting "bad" - learn how to discipline them with love and it will not be easy if your use to spanking and yelling BUT it can be done...(you can train your toddlers to do a new behavior within months IF you stick to the pattern!! have them sit in the chair or  go to their room, no tv, no facebook...you know, age appropriate...
THe point: life will not change and get better, until YOU take it by the horns and steer it where you want it to go!!! Nothing worthwhile is easy. This is YOUR life and it was meant to be lived with happiness, joy and sharing and caring, not pain...If you experience pain in a lesson, its good, if it motivates you to do better, help others and live life to the fullest!!
Use pain to motivate yourself not keep you down.. Even when someone close dies, start a scholorship fund in their name, help a kid that needs a big brother/sister..LET YOUR PAIN HELP YOU!! xo

smile, someone is watching you!!! you may save or change a life!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

energy equals energy

Hi blog family!
Been very busy trying to get the book to the public!! I will try to make my blogs shorter for now, as time is very important! I hope you are all well and enjoying this life!

Message for the day:

As soon as you wake, you should do so with joy!

You are alive, YOU are with health!
You can create change-in an instant with your mind and attitude!!
Wake up with a smile on your face and joy in your heart- you should feel like you won $1 million dollars- everyday!!!

 Life is not promised to us forever-so enjoy it each and every minute/day!
Teach your children to wake early-with joy- not complaining about its too early--too early for what? for life?
to live?
 to explore all the earth has??
NEVER to early!
Smile when you go out your door (and when you in your house with kids)...your energy WILL effect how they act: if your angry, mad, yelling, upset, nervous, loud, mean, violent--how can they become anything but that!.. 

You are in total control of your life! (yes, even if your "broke"- ) that can pass-if you start planning how to get out of poverty, depression (you can NOT have alot of tangable money and REALLY enjoy life!) I am proof!!
 I make do with what I have!
You have to learn this, it is not taught in a foster or group home because everyone in charge is thinking since you have a roof" you ok....NOT
we have to learn how to enjoy life and ourselves-with or without family, money etc..

 Please wake up "feeling" great- how you feel will determine your day toward others...lastly..."smile, someone may be watching you", especially if you have kids! xo tanya
 example...:)

Monday, February 14, 2011

problems or challenges

hi blog family!

Real talk- being without family can be a challenge at times. 
Like when you need $50 for gracery's because you had to pay for your medicine..because your insurance did not cover it)..have you ever had that one emergency that could literally make you homeless, carless, foodless, bookless (for you college aged out folk)..or that one time you NEED money to fix a health problem: teeth, antidepressant...whatever...it is a need BUT you don't get help that day... It happens when your on your own.
But I can say this: "this too shall pass"...this is what my foster mother use to tell me when i thought things were bad....all things change..
remember that and know that to have your health, sanity and choice of freedom....freedom to start a business making earrings or scarves next week!
you have choice, health to start a business cleaning cars or detailing for cars, you have a choice to start your babysitting service for poor mothers in your area...Don't ever think that you cannot get through a tuff time, the key is to stick it out!! Bad can't stay that way forever, even bad gets tired....
I know you will have ruff days but we all do, without family you may have to stick it out al little longer, but remember this builds charector and you will be the type of person that has gradtitude when you do have...don't envy or be jelouse of others who have family that bail them out- be grateful that you have a chance to be bailed out by the universe- because all things in this life change and be grateful for what you have today...

you are loved, special and needed xo Tanya

Friday, February 11, 2011

recovering relationships

Hi blog family- I'm back!
Relationships after foster care.

It is hard to have any-when you have no good example to choose from.
 So if you are not sure how to pick a good mate or friend-stop picking the bad ones- the one who has all the drama, gossip, negative words!
If nothing else, you know that ANY relationship should consist of two people that respect, admire and love each other for whom they are-never trying to change them or mold them, accepting them with flaws (as long as it is not drama or you doing all the work).. both parties should get something out of each other that makes them do better, love harder and want to be greater!
Don't settle for crazy, lazy, drama friends and mates-
life is short-only surround yourself with people that love you and have your best interest at heart IF there is any hint of jealousy, envy, hatred, mean spiritness- ABANDON SHIP!! God put plenty of people on the earth for you- its up to you to find them!
You are loved, and the universe needs you to get yourself together so that you may help the other 500,000 kids in foster care!!
xo Tanya

Friday, February 4, 2011

hi

hi blog family!
i am not able to blog regular the next week, so please be patient. i put up a video i wanted you to see about an experiment done to show how most people would do whatever they were told, including murder, if they felt it was justified (an authority told them to do it).. this was only a science experiment were people had to "shock" the other person if they did not answer a question right. the shocks had higher levels with each question but most did it anyway even when one guy who was shocked screamed and stop responding!

The point of this. I want you to come out of your box or comfort zone when it comes to doing what we are told. We were made with individual minds and must use them accordingly. If God or the universe intended for you to be a clone--you would have no brain! Please question when things are not going fair or right, find out why or why not, who or why, in the end, slavery, the treatment of the native americans (still) and holocaust happend because NO ONE questioned one person!! it is your responsiblity to know and to only do unto others as they do to you, xo Tanya

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I wish i could syndrome

hi blog family!!

its a new day!! what are you up to??
are you:
sitting around waiting for your dreams to happen? This can only happen if you know what it is and how to plan for it...then how to execute!

sitting around wishing you could look 50 lbs lighter...but not excersizing or changing your eating habits?

wishing you had a mate..but sitting on the couch, never going anywhere to be seen or meet new people?
wishing you were successful...but not doing anything that will manifest this success?

thinking of leaving that abusive partner, but never leave, even with support..because you don't think your worth it or no one will want you? this is a hard one because you do what you have to do to survive when you are in an abusive relationship-especially when there are kids BUT i say to you..if you can get to "my sisters place or any domestic violence shelter- go and start over..your life and your kids are worth it!! You may be able to turn this experience around by writing a journal/book and helping other woman..keep faith, and take action as soon as your spirit tells u to leave!

I had the "I wish I could" syndrome for years. It is going to keep you in the same place! You must realize your greatness and get up, get out and do something, as Macy gray use to sing! Nothing in this life is coming easy...even illnesses take some work like eating bad food, not seeing a doctor...etc... Nothing in this life good or bad, comes to you, you must go get the good you want in life!!!
If you want to change your negative kids thinking--think positive-live positive- talk positive--they will follow the leader- YOU!!
If you want a mate. get out to the museums, borders, gallery's... he/she cannot find you if you home!

if you want success. start planning what does that mean, what does it take for your goal, what do you need, who do you need for a mentor? how long..does not matter if you do not give up...

Stay focused and try new things this year, the universe is waiting for your success!! There is plenty for all of us, find out what gifts you have that will make you stand out...xo Tanya

Friday, January 14, 2011

thinking of adopting

Hi blog family:
Be patient I may address child, foster parent or adoptive on the same page...working on fosterparentsonly.blogspot.com for any issues with adoptive or foster kids.
for those that was in care and may have been adopted please take the time to write back and let us know your experience.
For those who were only in group homes and now adults: 
It is fustrating to see others get adopted and your left in the group home or they went to a foster home and you got left. It can be better to be in a home BUT if you are not with a good family--your better off in a group home setting. The trick of survival: utilizing all your resources! Councelors, programs, therapist...education...I know plenty of adults who came out better than those in foster homes--why? Because they took advantage of what they had and got their education ALONG with discovering what they needed to work on to heal...
You can tell if you are healing by how much anger you harbor. Ask yourself are you often angry or tense, screaming, mad, upset easy, worry all the time? If yes to any of these (and it is "normal" to feel all of these as an adult who was in care)..find a good therapist or start/find a support group in your area for adults just like you. It is important to get if off your chest, so that you can move on the greatness!!! xo


NOTES FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS:


 http://www.americanadoptions.com/adoption/link_resource

I know most people think that when they adopt a child that life will be bliss. If you get an older child that has been traumatized in any way---including abandonment--they will need to resolve those issues BEFORE adulthood.  My suggestion is to view my site, read my book and check all resources on adoption. Find the best therapist available to children and start processing and allowing the child to understand what has happend to them and how you are going to help change their life. Don't try to "hide" the adoption, lie or coverup because while it may be great that a parent gave them away--it is a hard fact to know that your parents gave you up--even if it was for the better. You must allow them the space and time to know this, work through it and appreciate it--then they can understand your role and love you and "need" you. I enclosed a link you may find helpful for resources.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

what am i grateful for?

Hi blog family!

glad you are amongst the living!! Remember every waking day is a day to reflect and move forward with positive change!
Today's question: What are you grateful for today??
Don't tell me you have nothing--even if your in a shelter, broke, have one leg, I can find SOMETHING to be grateful for!!
Try...YOUR LIFE!! Some did not wake today-you did, so that is one thing. What about your health, can you walk, talk and read? That is alot. The universe is plentiful and it will always give you what you deserve--IF you put effort and thought into what you want! Good things will not happen by accident, it will be because of willpower, preserverance and endurance, all of which you have, since you surivived foster care!
I pray that you will understand your role on this earth for the new year, study your gifts and talents and see how they made you who you are AND see how you can use them this year to not only bring you more financial success but to help others in foster care...If we all reach back for the 500,000 in care, there  won't be anyone left one day... keep moving forward for the new year, don't dwell on past mistakes or negative people, places or things! You have divine purpose and know that the universe is waiting for you to make your mark!! Pratice being grateful for what you have and "feeling" good for it and you will gain more! xo Tanya

Monday, January 10, 2011

the sun is shinning



hi blog family!
The sun is shinning. The snow has fallen, and will fall again, but I suggest getting up, getting out and finding something proactive to do!! Every waking moment (even if your not working) should be spent writing down goals, planning the day, the week, the year and staying focused only on that which is positive!! xo Tanya
here are some icecyles i took a pic of out of my window today...enjoy , we only get one life!! Every day you wake-especailly in reasonable health--you should be excited like you won $1million dollars!! It means you are given another chance to get it right and to help save or change a life! xo Tanya

Sunday, January 9, 2011

advice for those layed off

Hi blog family!
I see the headlines are not looking the most cheerful--don't worry--all things change as each day passes.
I talked to five more people this week that was laid off of their jobs.
 I use to feel sad and think OMG! but now I think what if the universe is trying to lead you to something better? What if you have some talent that you are not using to help others...(sing, dance, write, draw, clean, talk whatever)...
Now that you are laid off you have time to sit and think:
 what do I do so well that no one else can or everyone ask me to do "that"?

Maybe its time to start your own day care service with just two kids untl you get your liscence, i am sure you can find a single mother that needs a dependaple person to care for her kids while she is at work> Maybe its time to start your jewelery business, your friends are always buying your earrings and requesting you make more,..

maybe its time to write that screenplay you dreamed of, especially now that you can you tube for free how to write a screenplay or anything else you need to know (study french, write a novel whatever--its on youtube!!)
Don't view being laid off as the worse, even if you have to move out of your fancy apartment, maybe there is a better one waiting.

The point is its all on you, find your gifts and talents, perfect them and then figure out how to make money off of them. Sell your items dooor to door, it worked for our parents--without marketing.

 THis is a big universe and there are plenty of opportunity's waiting for you--if you wake up and realize your dream--not the boss you worked for for all those years, giving him/her all your time, being away from your kids, missing out on writing, while they earned the big profits--

make your own profits and remember because you are the boss now,

save your money for retirement!!
Stay focused and true to you and follow your dream, it is why your here and it will guide you to what you need to be doing and who you need to be helping,
 xo Tanya