Happy New Year!!

Hi blog family!

Happy New Year to all my blog readers!!!! We did it! Another year! WOW!

So you made it into a new year!!
 Congratulations for staying strong and NEVER giving up!!

 Now is the time for you to reassess what YOU need to do NOW to make THIS year BETTER than last and more productive!! 
Take that singing class, write your first poem or script, record that album, start your new business, find your new mate or friends,
find your talent and gifts - and let them guide you to your greatness!!!!

xo
Tanya

advice for those entering a new group or foster home

www.createspace.com/3587372

the above is the link to my self help book for teens: surviving foster care and making it work for you!! Every teen in foster care should get a copy!! If you aged out, get one, you will learn new things! 

Hi blog family! i have a video advice on 1st day at new foster home or group home or halfway house! click:

http://youtu.be/GUkeF2gBXMA


have a great day and smile, someone is watching you!
xo Tanya

journals for healing

Hi blog family!

summer is in full effect! kids are off at camp, college is on breatk and you may be having too much time on your hands to have pity parties!! I would like for you to know that writing, heals all wounds!!! I started writing around 12 but realized the power of writing around 20.
When i am bored, angry, happy or just stuck, I write! Go out and get a journal today. if your money is low go to the dollar store and buy a 99cent composition notebook--it works just as well!!  If you are older teach your kids how to write as a release and to create... just have them write, every day...this way they can release any feelings..keep another journal for creative things, like writing comedy or screenplays, poetry... if you write in your regular journal EVERYday for a few minutes, you will enjoy writing for creative things like poetry, songs, plays... writing releases stress and clears your head of pass drama....write, write write....
to all my blog readers, especially my young teens...enjoy your summer, stay away from trouble and run to peace, joy and good postive people!! xo Tanya

message delivered for national foster care awareness month

hi blog family!
Today was wonderful! I was able to deliver a message  to Westchester County-glad we are all on the same page. Foster care has grown since 1971.  Our kids are blessed and should take full advantage of where they are at!! I am grateful my mom gave me away, she was sick but I am completing my purpose and I am grateful she birthed me. Be grateful today, especially if you ARE in care, you could have ended up like lisa steinberg or be in the ghetto's of soweto or in India, getting married off at 9 because the family has no money! Things could always be worse, be grateful for EVERYTHING in your life, even the bad, because it will motivate you (when the pain is great enought) to TRY something new or find a new way out!!! Find ways to enjoy this life, it is short and you must complete your divine purpose, go out an enjoy the world, dont let anyone or anything stop you, you are it!! xo Tanya

mothers day...without mom..

Hi blog family! Today since i have Chinese viewers i am TRYING to translate for you, correct me if i am wrong please..
*My book should be available again after next week! thanks to those who have purchased a copy-all proceeds go to fosterkidsunite and The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholorship! Any agency that brings me out to speak and orders more than 50 copies of the book-I will sign the book and do a free workshop that I designed just for kids in care!


Happy Mother's Day! a flower-just for you!
Even if your a kid reading- read below!


I know it's that time already!! I got some advice to cheer you up!


For those of us that do not have a mother:


this is the day to reflect on what a mothers role is: 


to bring life, love and teach.
 Ok so your mother only did the first!
 YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL TO HER THAT YOU ARE ALIVE AND WAS NOT ABORTED, KILLED! 
here me out: Yes, she may have been abusive verbally or physically BUT you have survived, how do I know- your reading this!
* (the only person in this life i have NO empathy for is phedophiles-those that exploit young babies and children)* Don't ever feel bad for not "getting over" someone abusing you at a young age, you should NOT be forced to have contact with that person-even if its your family!! You can never trust someone EVER that would hurt a baby or child...i would rather forgive a murderer or robber! 
My foster mom use to say you can never trust a liar or a thief- I say you can never trust a phedophile, thief and liar!! Read my book, i will tell you why......

If you have LIFE any quality of life-YOU should be grateful your mom had you! You cannot make ANY life corrections of family mistakes IF you are dead!!


I want you to learn to be grateful for your life (and if your readying and understanding this, be grateful for your sanity). 


Nothing is promised in this life but if you are alive, you should always be grateful because you have a chance TO MAKE YOUR FUTURE FAMILY BETTER!!! 


You are going to get the therapy you need and utilize ALL your resources so that you turn out to be a stable independent adult who will have a BETTER family than yours. 
You will not abandon your children, put them in danger of preditors, or other vultures. 


You are a winner and you have divine purpose for being here- find out why and until you do......be thankful to your mom for atleast birthing you because without you-life would be messed up for someone. 
You are loved special and we need you to get it togeather and stay focused on how to love better and enjoy life more than your parents did! 


Now in traditional Chinese!

嗨博客的大家庭！*我的書後，應可再下一個星期！感謝那些誰購買了版權的所有收益將歸 fosterkidsunite和羅伯特庫珀米莫里爾 Scholorship！任何機構，使我想到了發言，訂單超過 50本的書，我給你簽字的書，做一個免費的研討會，我專門為孩子們的關懷！

母親節快樂！一花只為你！即使您的孩子閱讀，閱讀下面！

我知道這是這個鐘點了！我得到了一些意見，你振作起來！

對於那些我們沒有媽媽：

在這個日子裡，以反映對什麼是母親的角色是：

把生命，愛和教導。
 好讓你的母親不但沒有第一！
 你應該感激她，你還活著，並沒有中止，殺死！我離開這裡：是的，她可能已被口頭或身體虐待，但你必須活了下來，我怎麼知道，你讀這個！*（唯一的人，這輩子我沒有同情心的，是phedophiles，那些利用年輕的嬰兒和兒童）*不要有沒有覺得不壞“去克服”有人罵你在年輕的時候，你不應該強制有接觸的人，即使是你的家！你永遠不能相信曾經有人會傷害嬰兒或孩子...我寧願原諒一個殺人犯或強盜！我養媽媽說來你永遠不能相信一個騙子，竊賊，我說你不能相信一個 phedophile，小偷和騙子！讀我的書，我會告訴你為什麼 ......
如果您有任何生命生活質量，你應該感謝你的媽媽了你！你不能讓任何生命改正錯誤，如果你的家人都死了！

我希望你能學會感謝你的一生（如果你準備好和理解這種情況，感謝你的理智）。

沒有什麼是承諾在此生活，但如果你還活著，你應該永遠感謝，因為你有一個機會讓你的未來家庭好！

你會得到你需要的治療，並利用所有的資源，使你變成一個穩定的獨立的成年人誰將會有一個更好的家庭比你的。你不會放棄你的孩子，把他們在危險 preditors或其他禿鷹。

你是一個勝利者，你有神聖的目的來到這裡，找出原因，直到你......感謝你的媽媽是為 atleast分娩你，因為沒有你的生活將是如魚得水的人。你是愛的特殊，我們需要你得到它togeather，保持集中在如何更好地愛，享受生活比你的父母做了！XO筆記本電腦陳淑莊

xo Tanya

advice for the day

hi blog family!

just some advice today: Stay on your toes, focus and enjoy the day meditating and thinking: how can I make this day better than yesterday? Who can I be of service to ..remember helping others takes you out of your problems for a minute and lets you see--your not alone in this wonderful world filled with challenges and adventure at every turn! Enjoy the day-you are loved, needed and if you smile, you may save or change a life today!!! xo Tanya

book link AND self love

Hi blog family-

My book is finally available!! https://www.createspace.com/3587372

any agency that buys more than 50 copies- i will come and do a book signing AND Free workshop--just get me there!!!

Ok i am still searching for a publisher- but if you know me, that cannot stop me from sharing this book with the 450,000 or so teens in foster care! 

Never let anyone or anything stop your message or pure intention to help save or change a life!!!!

I speak to all of you today, in group home, left, foster parent...teach our kids to LOVE themselves and to HELP others who may be in the same situation.....other foster kids! Reach one teach one- the system only gets better when WE help each other and take control of our lives--mentally and physically!!!

We all have divine purpose, as i often say, what is yours? How can your agency or foster parents help you find your purpose? By: listening--you talking about painting, biking, singing etc... all the time,  when a kid practices something on his/her own ALL the time...chances are they are going toward that purpose...

understand that my gift is not your gift so there is NEVER any competition!! What you do- you do- what I do- I do...Mariah Carey sings different than Adel...but both are brilliant and touch many souls with their singing.....you get the point

Listen to YOU - Parents- listen to your child- teach your child to listen and follow their own instincts...it will lead them to their true gift, which will help them fulfill their divine purpose!!

You are loved, special and needed by this universe to do something great!!! smile, someone is watching you!! xo Tanya

how can i use the secret-Wallace Wattles

Hi blog family!
I admit, i am a lover of the book and DVD-the secret! While i always had the faith of a mustard seed, i had these principles-and did not know why. You must be informed of ANY information that may open your mind and help you grow as a person, so that you may focus on enjoying this life!! so I am reading (for free)  the principles of getting rich..by Wallace Wattles...this is the guy who inspired the Secret! Anything i post that is someone elses work, I try to give credit. I ONLY post it because if it is good for me, it should be good for you. I don't think i waste your time with nonesense, you could be doing other great things...thanks for visiting here is some info, i will find the link and post for you to read all of it!! Start thinking now that you deserve to be rich like everyone else, don't settle or listen to pastors that tell you you will get rich in "heaven"....you deserve it NOW and it is NOT bad to want the finer things in life-if you are working for them honestly!! have a great day!! smile, someone is...watching you!! you are loved, divine and special!! xo

me." You cannot exercise much power without gratitude; for it is gratitude that keeps you connected with Power.

But the value of gratitude does not consist solely in getting you more blessings in the future. Without gratitude you cannot long keep from dissatisfied thought regarding things as they are.

The moment you permit your mind to dwell with dissatisfaction upon things as they are, you begin to lose ground. You fix attention upon the common, the ordinary, the poor, and the squalid and mean; and your mind takes the form of these things. Then you will transmit these forms or mental images to the Formless, and the common, the poor, the squalid, and mean will come to you.

To permit your mind to dwell upon the inferior is to become inferior and to surround yourself with inferior things.

On the other hand, to fix your attention on the best is to surround yourself with the best, and to become the best.

The Creative Power within us makes us into the image of that to which we give our attention. We are Thinking Substance, and thinking substance always takes the form of that which it thinks about.

The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best; therefore it tends to become the best; it takes the form or character of the best, and will receive the best.

Also, faith is born of gratitude. The grateful mind continually expects good things, and expectation becomes faith. The reaction of gratitude upon one's own mind produces faith; and every outgoing wave of grateful thanksgiving increases faith. He who has no feeling of gratitude cannot long retain a living faith; and without a living faith you cannot get rich by the creative method, as we shall see in the following chapters.

It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously.

And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.

Do not waste time thinking or talking about the shortcomings or wrong actions of plutocrats or trust magnates. Their organization of the world has made your opportunity; all you get really comes to you because of them.

Do not rage against corrupt politicians; if it were not for politicians we should fall into anarchy, and your opportunity would be greatly lessened.

God has worked a long time and very patiently to bring us up to where we are in industry and government, and He is going right on with His work. There is not the least doubt that He will do away with plutocrats, trust magnates, captains of industry, and politicians as soon as they can be spared; but in the meantime, behold they are all very good. Remember that they are all helping to arrange the lines of transmission along which your riches will come to you, and be grateful to them all. This will bring you into harmonious relations with the good in everything, and the good in everything will move toward you.

what does clothes have to do with this-dressing for success!

Hi blog family!!

FOR THOSE IN CARE
I am fuming a little today. why? well look at this! Foster children would be allowed to get clothing only from second hand stores | Michigan Messenger

look at my face!!! but my lips are not shut!!!

This senator done lost his mind!!
 he wants our "divine children" (that is you), shopping at second hand stores only?? 
OK I LOVE thrift,
 so i am not arguing that you can find some fabulous items--especially designer--at a lower price...(depending on where you live..NY, LA, PARIS, MN....) 


BUT who is he to "save money" when it comes to raising our future kings and queens---YOU!! ?? this is a case of turning your anger into something positive... i am mad BUT i am going to give you a tip my foster mother gave me, even though i do workshops on this...because of this guy..you get this information now...so listen up...
 To all of my young people who may still be in a group home or foster home, remember: 
how you dress- DOES MAKE  A DIFFERENCE!!! 


GUYS:
Learn to pull up your pants and throw on a button up shirt when your going for a job or college interview!! you could do "metro"..meaning shirt, dress pant, and nice leather shoe/boot..
Ladies:
 lower that skirt a little and button up your blouse so "nothing" skin wise is showing!!
 Guys: 
put on a "shoe or shoe boot (docksiders), even Clark's could work or wallaby's if they are leather but DO NOT wear sneakers or timberlands..(unless it was a construction job or carpenter helper!!! 
Ladies:
...no stelleto's (high heal) only a small heal and let the color be black or navy blue..you can also get away with a pair of slacks, a blouse and a blazer or just the blouse ..if it's nice and elegant enough..we are NOT acting flirtatious, we are acting like we are an asset (a plus) to the company....
not like we will make the company look bad...your reputation is everything on the streets--
well it is everything when your a foster kid, like I was, trying to make it in a world where alot, (not all) of people had parents teach them how to dress, talk, act and had contacts ...
we don't usually have that luxery so we have to step up our game on how we act when we are out in the community---
when you age out or have to move, if you left a good reputation--you can come back to your town, (like i did years later)...and get a job or apartment..
BECAUSE when you left, you left with a good reputation and everyone not only knew you, but thought you were respectful, honest and a good person!! 


HOW PEOPLE SEE YOU, very important!! IF you have a bad reputation now...change it!! 
it will not help you get into college, find the right mate, or get a job!!


(If your under 17...they may let you slide), but i am telling you how to get the job over anyone else---DRESS for success!! (this also works for finding your mate, friends, jobs, college, whatever!!)
If you cannot afford nice  clothes--it does NOT matter--how you put it together and the fact that you are "CLEAN with a good attitude--that's what counts! 


If your group home ever needs me to come and speak to you about dressing and acting for success, I would love to come hit me....with a message!! this is what I do!!! I help you because someone, (many people) helped me!! So i "pay it forward"...(ps. that is a good movie you should ask your counselor to get that)...


for those that left foster care


this all apply's to you accept now you are out of care. 
If you are on a job, you want to stay there so stay sharp not only in dress but all the latest computers, faxes, machines, get to know it all!! 
The more you know..skills u have... in a company, the less likely you will be "laid off".. 
example: if your the only one that knows how to do payroll or other major functions...it makes it harder to let you go if they NEED you, they can only need you if you know ALL the functions that are important to that company!


Smiling and making a difference by contributing to a project...not complaining..


if you are at home with no job,
 its time to get up...atleast 4 days a week, go to the library, sign up for the computer, and redo your resume and your look..


 you dont have to buy new clothes, just look in the magazines to see how you can hook up the outfit..belf, jewelry, scarf, jacket...


whatever you do--stay away from depression...its a mind killer....always tell yourself that you are it" you are worthy and you are special--because you are!! read Anthony Robbins or youtube him!! you will learn something!! 
Watch the DVD the secret..Rhona byrn..
Stay positive and stay in the "know" dont just sit and wait for a job...go get it!! it may take time but with perserverance, hard work and good attitude and networking, you can find one!! 


good luck...and dressing for success, does matter!! 
xo Tanya
smile, someone is watching you, you may save or change a life with that smile!!

Action

hi blog family!!

May is National Foster kids month! I will be kicking it off with a scholorship ceremony! Somone aging out of foster care will recieve The Robert Cooper memorial scholorship! If your in town, don't miss it- May 18th...The Mount Kisco public library- 4:30pm

So i thought I would find encouraging words for you today or something to make you think..here is one..


‎"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided." ~Tony Robbins


have a great day, and smile, someone is watching you!! You may save or change a life! Tanya

What can YOU do to create positive change

Hi blog family!!

May is National Foster Kids month!!

After thinking for a long time I decided two things:
1. If you want something done- do it yourself
2. Don't wait for fame, fortune or others to take action, be like NIKE, JUST DO IT!!

 Have you ever wanted to help people so bad but you were not really in a position to do so?

 I often think how can I help, when I myself am not where i want to be?
 Well I thought about it and taking action will sometimes cause a REaction, that will turn into what you wanted!
Sometimes, after being in foster care for so long not only do you have to re-learn how to make decisions, but you must also learn to act on your gut and trust it will steer you to your goal.

 Always wanted to help kids in foster care.
When I was younger I wanted to be famous like Johnny Carson or Lucielle Ball, not for vanity but because I saw that EVERYONE wants to help a star!
I also saw that people made things happen when you are known.
Oprah was able to build a school!!
Jay-Z built a water irrigation system in a remote part of Africa!!
Mother Teressa helped the orphans of Calcutta!
 When I was younger, that was the power of fame!

Now that I am (a little):) bit older...and  wiser, I realize I could still help kids in foster care.
The universe is MY experience (meaning yours), which means I have many mistakes to make but I also was given many talents and skills.
 I learned that I can help kids right now with no money down!!!
For years I thought I could not make a change without money or fame, I cried alot thinking I did not want another kid in foster care to feel depressed, lonely,  or feeling less than,  for years I was wrong.....
Since I realized this I have:

written a self help book for foster Teens
created 3 workshops just to deal with issues faced in care
traveled around the states speaking to hundreds of kids!
saved and changed a few lives....which was my original goal!!

Lesson: you can make positive change in ANYTHING you see that is NOT right, just make a plan and start doing it, don't contemplate if a message came from your heart to help others, just take action, the universe will send you angels to help you see it through, but first you must start!! WE all have gifts and talents, imagine if we "reach one teach one"...."what a wonderful world" (two fav quotes)
xo Tanya
ps. smile, someone may be watching you and your smile may save or change a life!!!

proverbs for the day

You always have hope-never give up!
feel like you won $1 million dollars = every day!!!
You are worth more than gold to this universe!
 xo Tanya

the sun is shinning

hi blog family!
The sun is shinning. The snow has fallen, and will fall again, but I suggest getting up, getting out and finding something proactive to do!! Every waking moment (even if your not working) should be spent writing down goals, planning the day, the week, the year and staying focused only on that which is positive!! xo Tanya
here are some icecyles i took a pic of out of my window today...enjoy , we only get one life!! Every day you wake-especailly in reasonable health--you should be excited like you won $1million dollars!! It means you are given another chance to get it right and to help save or change a life! xo Tanya

What is true happiness? The Dali Lama says...

Hi blog family!


I was enjoying the rain today, as the earth needs to be cleansed every now and again. I am always on a quest for inner peace, love, happiness and how to help others without any purpose, reason or gain. I know just my being happy doing it is a gain, so I wonder can I truley help others without "wanting" anything? While I was reading I came upon this, written by the Dali Lama on his site...these are NOT my words, but as I search and find answers, I will share them with you. We must find our divine purpose and help each other any way we can. So I ask: What is true happiness?


True happiness comes from having a sense of inner peace and contentment, 
which in turn must be achieved by cultivating altruism,
 love and compassion,
 and by eliminating anger, 
selfishness
 and greed. 


- Dali Lama

black Male in trouble???

I hope you are having a great weekend!!foster parents: pass on to your son's please...

I love all of my blog family but just like a mother has to give some of her kids extra hugs-- because one may need it more than others--i am sending a special message because it is needed--like a mother-i have nofavorites--i just do what i have to do to mentally build my child up to greatness!!:)

* with that said: special note To all my minority males!!!*
I read an article on NILA website talking about the condition of young black males-that they are in a bad way basically.
I want to tell you...stop letting ANYONe or any MEDIA put bad ideologies  in your head!! You are not in a crises physically it's mentally!! why? because we have allowed the media to judge us, tell us what is or is not good for us and what we do--we forgot- you are it.

Make no mistake there is no "problem with the black male eccept--he is allowing everyone to define him but himself! If you are a black male reading please know that your history says you were king. News flash...YOU STILL ARE KING!!"
 all men are created equal"
you have been told lies that: "most" of you rob, quit school, in jail, steal, abandon family--and now the false wording that the media put on you is 'appearing' to come true because that is all they show of you!
This is why I get ticked off at the lil waynes/nicky minage or any artist that promotes blacks as funny charectors rather than a people who come from a great lineage of kings and queens--but they won't tell you that--that is why you have to do your own research!!

 All people are great but we are only told about certain cultures or religions as to keep those in the limelight and portrayed as good- don't get it twisted we are equally great--all of us!! latino, polish, black, jew muslim, christian, ALL-
Everyone has divine purpose as I always say and you are no ecception!
WHen you hear negative things in the media about black men blow it off and know they are only talking about a few not all and they definatley are not talking about you becasue you are handling your business of being number one and enjoying this life!
You are king and should laugh when anyone tells you different... keep reigning but keep doing what you have to do to take back your kingdom--especially your mental kingsom!!
go to school to be: lawyers, doctors, engineers, scientist...kings creat solutions for the universe, they cannot be self centered or small thinkers, they think out the box--don't sell on a corner or sell your soul--you are king!!

keep your heads up you are not "extinct" you are in need of a new mental attitude!! wake-up!! Tanya
and anyone else this applies to you-you must think the highest of yourself-even in foster care!!

to foster parents..thank you

Hi blog family!
 thanks Griffith family for all your hard work. I will be addressing foster parents this blog but I also have something more later.

What foster kids need:

1. loving willing capable, functional parent/s that have a BIG heart unconditionally
2. read as much as they can about various abuse: neglect, etc... (then you will understand how to help the child with compassion..
3. if you have kids that are not related...keep an eye on any that was sexually abused...they may act out on it..(I talk about this in my book: "Surviving Foster care & Making it work for you"..
4. know that whatever your kids went through MUST be talked about, processed and worked through, with therapy, mommy love/therapy and community help ...it takes a village to raise a child....
5. set up a trust fund and put their money that comes monthly from the state for clothes/allowance put some of that money away, especially if they are young, it is priceless to have SOME funds when you age out--I had none and I was never given my money--although I always had the best clothes and food BUT a bank account would have been nicer and more helpful.... put something away and teach them the art of saving for a rainy day...
6. teach them they are the hero of this world, the universe is waiting for them to develop so they can help others...and share whatever gifts and talents they have...
7. make sure when they leave the door is always open for a holiday--I never had anywhere to go because i was sexually abused in my foster home--I loved the family--did not want to see my abusers...it's nice to have a place to go when you have no family...
8. be CAREFRONTATIONL-- Dr. Harris Straytner coined this phrase--approach with care and concern, not anger and acsusations..love heals all--even when your parents give you away or you went through abuse--with work, a loving family, therapy,,,,anyone can heal!! (I talk more to victums in my book) I will let you know where to get it soon,
This is it for today, I hope I helped and will do more for foster parents, smile, someone is watching and check out my other blog for teens fosterkidsonly.blogspot.com/
Tanya

words of encouragement...

Hi, please check out the article adoptuskids.org did on me.  


my words for today... think of how to make life better and more enjoyable everyday...what can you do to help others? 
Thinking of others will help your problems seem small and you will be too busy helping to have time to be sad about your own issues...
we all have them, 
what can we do to help others, so that we can focus less on our problems?
 If you don't have an immediate solution, help someone else until the answer comes... 
keep smiling, you may save or change a life!! xo Tanya


http://adoptuskids.org/resourceCenter/parentSupport/adopteeStories/story.aspx?k=Tanya

Death of a sibiling

Hi blog family! RI.P Rob!!

July 22nd my brother would have been 43...Hard to think he is not here!

How do I go on after losing a sibling and only close family member left?

By helping others!

If Rob was here, he would want me to be helping others who were in foster care.

He would want me to not think about my problems, but how to help others with a problem.

Sometimes death can bring out the carring in you.

I always thought of others but now since my brother has died, my mission is clear and priority!

If you lost a sibling you grew up with-through death or because they were adopted off- make something good out of it:

Start a scholorship fund in there name

volunteer at a shelter

organize a suitcase drive for group home kids

open your home for the holiday to kids who transitioned out of foster care

Do something to make a difference in someone elses life- and your pain will lessen!

Each day is better because I know my brother is now my guardian angel and anything I want in THIS life, he will help guide me toward it!!

Death is not the end, unless you stop spreading their message of love sharing and caring!! My brother's body is no longer with us but his spirit will live on forever through scholorships and the work I plan to do to help foster kids!

smile...someone is watching xo Tanya

ps. you miss the vid blog right--I know I will hit you again this week coming xo

Do ou need therapy??

If you are at least 30 OR you have had any kids by now all childhood issues should be resurfacing...

I had a friend say to me when my child hood abuse resurfaced:
"whatever childhood issues you have not resolved by the time your 30, will haunt you like a ghost!"
 It took me years to understand what she was saying, but now I do and i want to share with you, especially if you were in foster care or come from an abusive or crazy home!
The point of this sharing is so that you can start your life, the way you want and be happy. Everyone deserves a quality life!
I will give you a warning: some of this may require you to do at a therapist, (especially if you are Bipolar or on Medication for depression or if you get down when you talk or remember your past).
It is ok to stop reading or print this out and bring with you to discuss later!
You are strong and you are now an adult, which means you survived and you are in charge now! Learning to talk or write your feelings down will help you live without medication and be honest with yourself, no longer having to cover for family or anyone who mistreated you.

1. Do you suffer from depression, (besides being sad when you don't have money or you did not get the job.)?
2. Are you always complaining, especially about certain people, family, friend, love, mate?
3. Do you do things to put yourself in danger; cutting, binge eating, not eating, attracting mates that beat you or call you out of your name?
4. Do you feel this sadness never goes away, are you always gloomy?
5. was your parents or careiver gloomy, mean, bad?
6. how do you feel about YOU? good bad ok etc..
These are just some questions that you have to truley answer to find if you have isues from childhood, THEY DO NOT HAVE TO BE SEXUAL or PYSICAL ABUSE! IT could have been mental, the way someone expected too much or too little or favored a sibling over you, all of these can effect you in adult hood, question is is it stopping you from everyday life? Dating? being a good parent, who is not yelling 90% of the tim, or a good friend who can interact with others and give as well as recieve advice, etc..??
ask yourself if anything happend in your childhood that made you upset, angry or depressed, (not because you did not get something or minor regular childhood woes...) whatever it was made you hold a grudge, that you have not let go of...
See if you need therapy, you can always just go talk for a few sessions and let them evaluate you...i want you to know this is your life and its all about you!
clean up ANY skeleton's and move on!
 Life is waiting for you and all you have to offer, share what gifts you have and help others ; painting, singing, writing, oranizing, etc....
get help if you need it, there is no excuse for staying in the past, you cannot move forward until you prosseced what  happen, why and how it effected you today.
We all have problems, lets say we all carry LUGGAGE, i carry a Louis Vitton, the best, don't walk around in life carrying a backpack or cheap bag, it may break, carry your past in something that will hold up during bad weather and lots of milage,
life is to be a long trip!
 xo Tanya