job hunting?perhaps its time to use your gifts!

Good morning blog family!!

Today is another beautiful day, any day above ground is a good day! It gives you opportunity to start over fresh, no matter how many time, each day brings new chances in life!!
No matter where you are in your life; in a group home,
single parent on welfare,
single parent struggling with 2 jobs and your kids are out of control,
ill, homeless, (yes, homeless people can check email now thanks to the local library!)
..use each day to reflect on what YOU could be DOING to make tomorrow BETTER!!
If you have been laid off and still cannot find work in your field - maybe its time to find a service YOU can provide to the public!!
Yes, start a business that does not require allot of start-up money!! I know it sounds crazy--NOT!! sometimes when your laid off of your job and you have really tried everyday for 6 months or more to find something in your field as well as anything that gives a check, maybe this is the universe telling you to branch out!!
I know a lady who was broke all of her life, until she sat down and realized what she did way better than ANYONE else- CLEANING!!! Yes, she was an amazing cleaning and opened a cleaning house business, which now she employees 20 people and cleans not just houses but major businesses!
WHAT ACTION DID SHE TAKE to change her destiny with little or no money?
1. SELF ASSESSMENT:
she sat down and wrote everything she was GOOD at, almost exceptional- you do it better than anyone!!
2. She never saw herself as a victim: "poor me, I'm broke, i don't deserve that kind of money..(negative thoughts)...she got tired of the pain of being broke!!! As Anthony Robbins would say; once you reach your true pain level, you will change!" this goes for bad relationships, no job, no income, no friends, overweight, depression...once you get tired and the pain is too great....you will seek out change!
3. She wrote down what cleaning supplies she needed-she new she had no money at first to pay cleaners so her she did all the jobs at first alone, charging $60 per room for houses!!

* don't ever believe that the world is going broke, people don't have money- THE RICH WILL ALWAYS HAVE MONEY BUT MANY PEOPLE HAVE MONEY- THEY ARE JUST SELECTIVE, (AS SHOULD BE) ON WHERE TO SPEND IT!!! if you remember this, you will always think of ways..like bill gates, Forbes, YouTube creator, swifter creator....you will ALWAYS see the world as a golden opportunity - not "in financial trouble"- this is a lie perpetuated to you often by the media- DON'T BELIEVE WE ARE "GOING BROK" OR YOU ARE BROKE" OR THAT THERE ARE NO CHANCES OUT IN THE WORLD!! 
YOU have to go make chances!! Stop feeling sorry for yourself or ANYONE, according to "the secret" - it just brings more "poor", depression etc... to you!! Start thinking in abundance, that YOU can have ANYTHING you want in this life, (not when you get to heaven like slaves were told by the church all their existence, even now some of us still believe "its OK i am rich" in spirit, I will get my "gold when I get to heaven! Really, This is outdated and foster kids/former need to know, early, that GOD is divine, and he made you SO YOU are divine- think: would your "FATHER" want anything but the best for you? exactly!!!
while i don't want you to be materialistic I want you to know you were put here to help others in YOUR way AND enjoy ALL of GOD"S earth and all that is in it!! 
4.she wrote down her potential customer base: her friends who have allot of kids or single and lazy, her family, small businesses that do not have a big budget, doctor offices etc...
YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR CUSTOMER and WHAT THEY NEED MOST!!!! EVERY GREAT BUSINESS IS THAT BECAUSE THEY KNEW MILLIONS NEEDED IT....GOOGLE, YOUTUBE (BECAUSE TV, CABLE WAS TOO EXPENSIVE AND EVERYONE WANTS TO BE A STAR, RECORD LABELS WERE GREEDY AND NOT SIGNING NEW ARTIST, YOUTUBE ALLOWED "PEOPLE THAT WANTED TO TELL THERE STORY, SHARE INFORMATION, SING", HAVE THEIR SAY!!! what can you give the public, that is a NEED???
5. build her business with followup calls from the yellow pages, take out a small add in your local penny saver and word of mouth- one customer at a time!! She told all her friends, who told their friends, Dale Carnegie said something like: "if you know 7 people, you know 3,000....I did the math and ...he's right!!! word of mouth can do wonders for a new business. If one person likes it, they will tell others, especially if its top quality and not costly!!!
6.Nike says: "JUST DO IT!" now you wrote out your business plan, you know your customer, got your supplies....
7. TAKE ACTION!!
* businesses that do not require start up:
(if you have licence)..hair...do you braid exceptionally well? find those rappers or girls who wear wigs (they like to braid hair underneath so it can grow)...lol..
babysitting.
jewelry designer: if your good at designing earrings and know where to get supplies and how to assemble correctly..(you don't want loose wires etc..) this you can start from home! go to all the hair salons on Fridays- payday, be your own model, when you go out wear the nicest pair, people will ask you, give them a card...you can get cards and other business stuff..made for cheap on vista.com try to make them for either high end customers..$20 a pair...14K (of course) or $3 pair (surgical steel)...working mothers. The hair salon is the best place for selling earrings etc...
You can also be legit and get a website or join a coop website for people with crafts..google there are many..and you can hit festivals, flea markets..sometimes you have to buy a booth, but it you made 100 pair and charge at least $3 a piece and the table cost $25...you still make money!! always find out what crowd will be there (Italian festival, Spanish, polish, African American etc..) this will help you design a little different and meet your customers demand!!

well, now you have advice and ideas, there are many more than this!
Remember $ is endless, it is there, anyone that wants it, can have it!! Today...you just have to come up with the million dollar idea!!!
God make you divine so with work and thought this should be easier than you think!!
Also remember they say in the secret: "there is no difference on amounts of money...
1 million dollars takes just as much thought to get as  $1....think about that!
 point: they both require thought and action!!!!
xo Tanya

advice for those entering a new group or foster home

www.createspace.com/3587372

the above is the link to my self help book for teens: surviving foster care and making it work for you!! Every teen in foster care should get a copy!! If you aged out, get one, you will learn new things! 

Hi blog family! i have a video advice on 1st day at new foster home or group home or halfway house! click:

http://youtu.be/GUkeF2gBXMA


have a great day and smile, someone is watching you!
xo Tanya

what does clothes have to do with this-dressing for success!

Hi blog family!!

FOR THOSE IN CARE
I am fuming a little today. why? well look at this! Foster children would be allowed to get clothing only from second hand stores | Michigan Messenger

look at my face!!! but my lips are not shut!!!

This senator done lost his mind!!
 he wants our "divine children" (that is you), shopping at second hand stores only?? 
OK I LOVE thrift,
 so i am not arguing that you can find some fabulous items--especially designer--at a lower price...(depending on where you live..NY, LA, PARIS, MN....) 


BUT who is he to "save money" when it comes to raising our future kings and queens---YOU!! ?? this is a case of turning your anger into something positive... i am mad BUT i am going to give you a tip my foster mother gave me, even though i do workshops on this...because of this guy..you get this information now...so listen up...
 To all of my young people who may still be in a group home or foster home, remember: 
how you dress- DOES MAKE  A DIFFERENCE!!! 


GUYS:
Learn to pull up your pants and throw on a button up shirt when your going for a job or college interview!! you could do "metro"..meaning shirt, dress pant, and nice leather shoe/boot..
Ladies:
 lower that skirt a little and button up your blouse so "nothing" skin wise is showing!!
 Guys: 
put on a "shoe or shoe boot (docksiders), even Clark's could work or wallaby's if they are leather but DO NOT wear sneakers or timberlands..(unless it was a construction job or carpenter helper!!! 
Ladies:
...no stelleto's (high heal) only a small heal and let the color be black or navy blue..you can also get away with a pair of slacks, a blouse and a blazer or just the blouse ..if it's nice and elegant enough..we are NOT acting flirtatious, we are acting like we are an asset (a plus) to the company....
not like we will make the company look bad...your reputation is everything on the streets--
well it is everything when your a foster kid, like I was, trying to make it in a world where alot, (not all) of people had parents teach them how to dress, talk, act and had contacts ...
we don't usually have that luxery so we have to step up our game on how we act when we are out in the community---
when you age out or have to move, if you left a good reputation--you can come back to your town, (like i did years later)...and get a job or apartment..
BECAUSE when you left, you left with a good reputation and everyone not only knew you, but thought you were respectful, honest and a good person!! 


HOW PEOPLE SEE YOU, very important!! IF you have a bad reputation now...change it!! 
it will not help you get into college, find the right mate, or get a job!!


(If your under 17...they may let you slide), but i am telling you how to get the job over anyone else---DRESS for success!! (this also works for finding your mate, friends, jobs, college, whatever!!)
If you cannot afford nice  clothes--it does NOT matter--how you put it together and the fact that you are "CLEAN with a good attitude--that's what counts! 


If your group home ever needs me to come and speak to you about dressing and acting for success, I would love to come hit me....with a message!! this is what I do!!! I help you because someone, (many people) helped me!! So i "pay it forward"...(ps. that is a good movie you should ask your counselor to get that)...


for those that left foster care


this all apply's to you accept now you are out of care. 
If you are on a job, you want to stay there so stay sharp not only in dress but all the latest computers, faxes, machines, get to know it all!! 
The more you know..skills u have... in a company, the less likely you will be "laid off".. 
example: if your the only one that knows how to do payroll or other major functions...it makes it harder to let you go if they NEED you, they can only need you if you know ALL the functions that are important to that company!


Smiling and making a difference by contributing to a project...not complaining..


if you are at home with no job,
 its time to get up...atleast 4 days a week, go to the library, sign up for the computer, and redo your resume and your look..


 you dont have to buy new clothes, just look in the magazines to see how you can hook up the outfit..belf, jewelry, scarf, jacket...


whatever you do--stay away from depression...its a mind killer....always tell yourself that you are it" you are worthy and you are special--because you are!! read Anthony Robbins or youtube him!! you will learn something!! 
Watch the DVD the secret..Rhona byrn..
Stay positive and stay in the "know" dont just sit and wait for a job...go get it!! it may take time but with perserverance, hard work and good attitude and networking, you can find one!! 


good luck...and dressing for success, does matter!! 
xo Tanya
smile, someone is watching you, you may save or change a life with that smile!!

energy equals energy

Hi blog family!
Been very busy trying to get the book to the public!! I will try to make my blogs shorter for now, as time is very important! I hope you are all well and enjoying this life!

Message for the day:

As soon as you wake, you should do so with joy!

You are alive, YOU are with health!
You can create change-in an instant with your mind and attitude!!
Wake up with a smile on your face and joy in your heart- you should feel like you won $1 million dollars- everyday!!!

 Life is not promised to us forever-so enjoy it each and every minute/day!
Teach your children to wake early-with joy- not complaining about its too early--too early for what? for life?
to live?
 to explore all the earth has??
NEVER to early!
Smile when you go out your door (and when you in your house with kids)...your energy WILL effect how they act: if your angry, mad, yelling, upset, nervous, loud, mean, violent--how can they become anything but that!.. 

You are in total control of your life! (yes, even if your "broke"- ) that can pass-if you start planning how to get out of poverty, depression (you can NOT have alot of tangable money and REALLY enjoy life!) I am proof!!
 I make do with what I have!
You have to learn this, it is not taught in a foster or group home because everyone in charge is thinking since you have a roof" you ok....NOT
we have to learn how to enjoy life and ourselves-with or without family, money etc..

 Please wake up "feeling" great- how you feel will determine your day toward others...lastly..."smile, someone may be watching you", especially if you have kids! xo tanya
 example...:)

recovering relationships

Hi blog family- I'm back!
Relationships after foster care.

It is hard to have any-when you have no good example to choose from.
 So if you are not sure how to pick a good mate or friend-stop picking the bad ones- the one who has all the drama, gossip, negative words!
If nothing else, you know that ANY relationship should consist of two people that respect, admire and love each other for whom they are-never trying to change them or mold them, accepting them with flaws (as long as it is not drama or you doing all the work).. both parties should get something out of each other that makes them do better, love harder and want to be greater!
Don't settle for crazy, lazy, drama friends and mates-
life is short-only surround yourself with people that love you and have your best interest at heart IF there is any hint of jealousy, envy, hatred, mean spiritness- ABANDON SHIP!! God put plenty of people on the earth for you- its up to you to find them!
You are loved, and the universe needs you to get yourself together so that you may help the other 500,000 kids in foster care!!
xo Tanya

thinking of adopting

Hi blog family:
Be patient I may address child, foster parent or adoptive on the same page...working on fosterparentsonly.blogspot.com for any issues with adoptive or foster kids.
for those that was in care and may have been adopted please take the time to write back and let us know your experience.
For those who were only in group homes and now adults: 
It is fustrating to see others get adopted and your left in the group home or they went to a foster home and you got left. It can be better to be in a home BUT if you are not with a good family--your better off in a group home setting. The trick of survival: utilizing all your resources! Councelors, programs, therapist...education...I know plenty of adults who came out better than those in foster homes--why? Because they took advantage of what they had and got their education ALONG with discovering what they needed to work on to heal...
You can tell if you are healing by how much anger you harbor. Ask yourself are you often angry or tense, screaming, mad, upset easy, worry all the time? If yes to any of these (and it is "normal" to feel all of these as an adult who was in care)..find a good therapist or start/find a support group in your area for adults just like you. It is important to get if off your chest, so that you can move on the greatness!!! xo


NOTES FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS:


 http://www.americanadoptions.com/adoption/link_resource

I know most people think that when they adopt a child that life will be bliss. If you get an older child that has been traumatized in any way---including abandonment--they will need to resolve those issues BEFORE adulthood.  My suggestion is to view my site, read my book and check all resources on adoption. Find the best therapist available to children and start processing and allowing the child to understand what has happend to them and how you are going to help change their life. Don't try to "hide" the adoption, lie or coverup because while it may be great that a parent gave them away--it is a hard fact to know that your parents gave you up--even if it was for the better. You must allow them the space and time to know this, work through it and appreciate it--then they can understand your role and love you and "need" you. I enclosed a link you may find helpful for resources.

what am i grateful for?

Hi blog family!

glad you are amongst the living!! Remember every waking day is a day to reflect and move forward with positive change!
Today's question: What are you grateful for today??
Don't tell me you have nothing--even if your in a shelter, broke, have one leg, I can find SOMETHING to be grateful for!!
Try...YOUR LIFE!! Some did not wake today-you did, so that is one thing. What about your health, can you walk, talk and read? That is alot. The universe is plentiful and it will always give you what you deserve--IF you put effort and thought into what you want! Good things will not happen by accident, it will be because of willpower, preserverance and endurance, all of which you have, since you surivived foster care!
I pray that you will understand your role on this earth for the new year, study your gifts and talents and see how they made you who you are AND see how you can use them this year to not only bring you more financial success but to help others in foster care...If we all reach back for the 500,000 in care, there  won't be anyone left one day... keep moving forward for the new year, don't dwell on past mistakes or negative people, places or things! You have divine purpose and know that the universe is waiting for you to make your mark!! Pratice being grateful for what you have and "feeling" good for it and you will gain more! xo Tanya

black Male in trouble???

I hope you are having a great weekend!!foster parents: pass on to your son's please...

I love all of my blog family but just like a mother has to give some of her kids extra hugs-- because one may need it more than others--i am sending a special message because it is needed--like a mother-i have nofavorites--i just do what i have to do to mentally build my child up to greatness!!:)

* with that said: special note To all my minority males!!!*
I read an article on NILA website talking about the condition of young black males-that they are in a bad way basically.
I want to tell you...stop letting ANYONe or any MEDIA put bad ideologies  in your head!! You are not in a crises physically it's mentally!! why? because we have allowed the media to judge us, tell us what is or is not good for us and what we do--we forgot- you are it.

Make no mistake there is no "problem with the black male eccept--he is allowing everyone to define him but himself! If you are a black male reading please know that your history says you were king. News flash...YOU STILL ARE KING!!"
 all men are created equal"
you have been told lies that: "most" of you rob, quit school, in jail, steal, abandon family--and now the false wording that the media put on you is 'appearing' to come true because that is all they show of you!
This is why I get ticked off at the lil waynes/nicky minage or any artist that promotes blacks as funny charectors rather than a people who come from a great lineage of kings and queens--but they won't tell you that--that is why you have to do your own research!!

 All people are great but we are only told about certain cultures or religions as to keep those in the limelight and portrayed as good- don't get it twisted we are equally great--all of us!! latino, polish, black, jew muslim, christian, ALL-
Everyone has divine purpose as I always say and you are no ecception!
WHen you hear negative things in the media about black men blow it off and know they are only talking about a few not all and they definatley are not talking about you becasue you are handling your business of being number one and enjoying this life!
You are king and should laugh when anyone tells you different... keep reigning but keep doing what you have to do to take back your kingdom--especially your mental kingsom!!
go to school to be: lawyers, doctors, engineers, scientist...kings creat solutions for the universe, they cannot be self centered or small thinkers, they think out the box--don't sell on a corner or sell your soul--you are king!!

keep your heads up you are not "extinct" you are in need of a new mental attitude!! wake-up!! Tanya
and anyone else this applies to you-you must think the highest of yourself-even in foster care!!