Mentor??

Hi blog family!
what can you do to pick yourself up after a career confusion or diversion?
GET A MENTOR!!
No one can really afford a life coach these days but you can find people older and wiser who would be willing to show you a good path on the choices of life...
A good mentor can help you get back on the right road and help you define your goals and achievements to get where you need to go.
Foster care was not really a place to dream about future goals, so now it may be hard to keep in that positive light. You need someone fired up like Anthony Robbins!!
Get a mentor: someone who will be in your corner, never doubting you, always showing you the options and elevating your brian power.
You need someone in your corner, (besides a higher power), you need someone here tangible, able to reach you on the phone, skype you or see you when you are going through, your mentor is your cheerleader, even when times are tuff, go find someone to take you under their wing,,,never too late! XO Tanya
smile, some kid is watching you, modeling after you...save, change or help a life TODAY..

When opportunity knocks, will u be ready??

Hi blog family!
Have you ever had a chance to do one of the many things you dreamed of and one day the chance comes knocking on your door, only you: look through the peephole, saying: " who is it?? not knowing its your chance of a lifetime!
Or you look and open the door a little and even though you know you heard the knock, you only cracked it open enough to see an inch, or took too long to go to the door,

so you missed whoever was there, or worse, you  don't open it !
I really missed some good opportunity's this month, but I want you to know, if you get one chance, be ready!
When it comes to your dream..
It is important that you take the time to perfect your craft or gift.
Often while in foster care we don't have time to find out what it is.
I know I was born to talk and help others, tv has always been the vehicle I wanted to use to get to my real goal of empowering youth.

What can you do to be ready?
Read as much as you can on your subject
Stay away from anyone that thinks you cannot do what you wish!
Practice, Practice, Practice!!!
Prepare whatever you need for your field, (audition tapes, pictures, samples,..)
find out who the GO TO person is in your field, ask for advice if needed, if not model after whoever is doing it big in your field

*Most important, like Nike says: "Just DO it!!!"

If you sleep too long or don't answer the door of chance,
you may miss it,
be prepared and willing to go when called,
 this may be your chance to save, change or effect a life!!
XO Tanya

Remembering Rob...walking back in time..

Tanya speaking at Cleveland University- National Youth Conference  / Rob & 2nd cuz

a few of us at National Youth Conference!

Hi Blog family!

It was a challenge day for me, a beautiful one but challenging because my brother was heavily in my heart and on my mind!

I thought of all the kids I saw at the National Youth conference and how blessed they were to have Latasha using her vision to have a conference with workshops on food, banking, self esteem etc... wow, my brother would be happy to know someone was thinking of fosterkids aging out, having options!

I was sad to know he is gone so young but I became happy when I glanced at the pictures from the national youth conference and realized, The hard truth panel, (Latasha, Tanya, Tanisha),  the judge and DMC, delivered our own stories to encourage them. 

When the kids come up and talk with you after, you know it is all worth it!

thoughts to my brother:

I miss you Rob, but alot happend; the scholorship in your name, by your friend will be in effect soon, I spoke to the kids, and someone walked away aspiring to go higher!

 Knowing this, I can make it everyday, when I am helping save, change or inspire a life, thanks Coop!

your sis Tanya

National Youth Conference Quote of the day.

Hi blog family!


We had a great time at the  Youth Conference! Teens, Anyone working with foster kids - or any kids for that matter, really missed it!
 pics to follow soon!
Keynote speaker, DMC, (of legendary rap duo RUN DMC), delivered a powerful message that Even Jessus and Moses was foster kids...telling how one was put in a basket down the river and found and raised by the Egyptians and he told how  baby Jesus was also raised by someone else!

Wow! best part was the fact that- looked who they turned out to be!
DMC was powerful talking about how  he always questioned "his Purpose", knowing that it was not just to be "famous"!

The Panel spoke:
 all telling our personal stories, the hard truth of foster care!
Basically I told the kids they are the Cinderella's, {Prince & Knight & shinning armor and they need to go out into the big beautful world and write their own fairytales, with themselves, as the hero!

The workshops taught about financial responsibility and the importance of saving, how to make good food choices, "I like me", and a also included others, even workshops for foster parents and social workers!
I cannot wait for you to read my book, "Surviving Foster care & Making it work for you,
you will see how I survived care.

It is important for you to share your experience and give back when you can, someone's life may be changed!
I leave you with a quote form one of America's top 100 influential people: Senator Jon Kye - "There is no limit to what a man can do or where he can go IF he does'nt mind who gets the credit!"

What have you done to bring about peace of self and others?

Hi Blog family! I love this picture, the top of Paris! great place to reflect on peace...

I hope you are well, as I sit here this morning in silence, I am grateful for life, grateful, that today, i could help save or change someone elses life! I will just share a poem with you today as I am getting ready to go and support Latasha C. Watts & her purple project event: National Youth Conference" this weekend in Ohio! Wish her the best because she is a person who is willing to share her story and found a forum to help kids in foster care, Big applause for such a great young lady!!

Life means nothing if you cannot bring peace and love to others......xo

listening to the birds-slight wind, water or cars in a distant, enjoying the peaceful sounds - I am wondering how can I be a catalyst for peace? I will go out and be of service to others today, yes, that's what I will do!!

ways to spot depression, ways to get depression out of your life..

Hi blog family!
Just wanted to remind you about this ugly word...it pops up often in life....


10 ways to spot depression, BEFORE it gets out of control!
1. sad all the time, even when things are good
2. overeating
3. dating people you know are bad for you, (abusive)
4. sleeping all the time
5. doing drugs OR drinking your problems away, addiction of any kind, food, sex, drugs etc...
6. letting yourself go, to the point it is unhealthy
7. feeling hopeless and helpless most of the time
8. being angry all the time or acting out with violent behavior/attitude...
9. trying to hurt yourself or others
10.mentally unstable, not paying your bills, going to work, feeding your kids, etc..

10 ways to delete depression from your life!


1. Take the word "depression" out of your vocabulary...don't ever use it, pick a new word that is still positive..example: " I feel "challenged" today or " I will have extra strength today to face any clouds that try to come in my life today". Redirect the feeling don't let it direct you...
2. Eat to live, not because there is food! (i got that from a book, "Eat to Live"..._
No guessing what to eat or how much just ask yourself: did this food come with the earth or did man have a hand? Potatoes could have been here but potatoe chips were not....cookies, licorice, icecream, all of these foods should be a treat maybe once a month...not to fill a void of loneliness or sadness.
3. Only date or have friends that think the world of you, how do you get them? GO OUT to good places like the museum, book readings, join a board that helps people,  whatever, just get out and let people see you and get to know you are great! But first you must tell yourself so until you believe it!
Don't waste your time with anyone that does not value YOU!
4. Spend every moment awake bettering yourself with reading, writing, walking or sports!
You should be happy to rise everyday--no matter what is going on,
You did not have to be here be grateful God allowed you one more time to find your life mission and help others!
 No matter how upset something makes you, think, "i am alive with my mind" and go from there, yes there will be test but again, this too shall pass....
5. Addiction is a serious problem the world is facing. I believe IF we talked more and procssed what happened in our lives that did not work, there may be less drug use!
Whatever issue you have, you must work through it so that it does not consume you mentally or send you off to the drug world..you are only out of pain for a few minutes, the pain always comes back unless you grab it by the head and face it!!
I realize there are some who will die from addiction but they gave up at some point...You are worth the fight, never give up on yourself.
6. Always look your best, even in jeans, you never know who you will meet and it feels good knowing you look put togeather! You have to phych yourself out, that means in words, and dress!!
7. Nothing is hopeless! When I loss my brother, i wanted to feel hopeless but i had trained my mind too long to stay down to long and I know my brother would not want me to be in pain, so I decided i was not going to be hopeless, I was going to be helpful.....get busy helping others, children foster care programs, hospitals, there are plenty of places that need your help...you won't have time for pity if you are busy helping others!
8. Be Happy! anger does nothing but drain your energy...who wants that? people attract to happy people and if they don't...watch out for them if they are not happy...sadness is contagious!! Try to make happy contagious. When your angry you put negative vibes in the air, nothing can get done...
9. Love yourself, not hurt yourself! God did not put you here to destroy yourself with drugs, drinking, killing, or hatred. The universe has plans for you, you just have to figure out what they are...you are God's most valuable gift to the earth, don't do anything that hurts you or your mind, body or soul!! we need you to help the next kid!!
10. "The mind is a terrible thing to waste".. that is the best saying i have heard! Use it and fill your mind with good, positive information...not to belittle yourself or hate yourself. You are loved, blessed and highly favored, know this and you shall never be "depressed again"...xo
Tanya

health care crises, imagine what happens when you age out!

Hi blog family!
This blog could be seen as venting, but it is out of love for you I vent. Dental care in this country is a nightmare, and I experienced it first hand today!!

I am in need of dental work and went to several dentist in the area to see if I could work out a payment plan, because the plan i could afford.....sent me to dental quacks who had dirty offices, on youtube for misconduct, no assistant...leaving my mouth to answer a phone and then try to come back to my mouth with the same gloves!!
Ok what happend to Universal healthcare??
I am on this subject because I was in tears thinking, if someone has a heart problem and was in foster care or just has no extra money or good insurance...you could die....
I know many people in this country do not have "Other resources to turn to for money in a health crises...what about those of us who use to be in foster care but we are over 30???
Is our life any less because of our situation?
 NOT!
I want to stress building resources and income for yourself so that you will not be put in this spot! Find ways to save for this type of occassion, and there will be many for most...
My child is covered under her fathers "good" insurance, but they want $250 deductable and me to pay $600 for copays....before the work is done!!! Do I get her work done first, they are permanent teeth...or do i take a chance on my cracked tooth and wisdom tooth hurting so bad my face hurts???
This is when your morals are tested, and they will be tested. For me, i live by honor and integrity, even if it means I don't get healthcare i need....
How is one to make a living honestly?
My heart goes out to the woman in Chappaqua who prostituted herself to earn money to "feed her kids" after her lawyer husband left her....
my heart goes out to the woman (first the child), who threw her child off a bridge....and then herself....because her husband left her and she felt she wanted to hurt him...
my heart goes out to all the young people selling drugs thinking they are making quick money....and last my heart goes out to those who work two and three jobs, leaving there kids home , only to still not make enough to get the healthcare they need...
In the end we all just want to survive and be happy. It is fustrating to be in "the best" country and not be able to get good healthcare, without selling your soul to the devil, stealing robbing or lying! What has this world come to when a "doctor" only thinks of his profits?
We must come up with a solution.  Keep your sanity, life is still worth it, even when we have to beg, borrow and pray!
THere is hope, in planning and saving, learning to live with less materialistic items in your life, learning to do preventive measures, like flossing, eating right, exercise...teach your children to eat right early and take care of their teeth, so that hopefully, they won't be stuck with no money for dentist...

Just when u want to give up

Hi Blog family!
Just some advice: There are times when you try your best and no one understands or will listen, there are times when you try to be your best, but life situations gets in the way and make you fall of your cloud of joy you were riding....so I thought a poem of sorts may help pick you up...


When the going gets tuff and you think you can't keep going....keep going.
The bad cannot last forever so stick it out!
You are loved and special!
XO Tanya

Why service to others is important for you..

Hi blog family!!
Did you know that helping others always helps you? I am so proud to be speaking with two lovely young ladies: (Latasha C. Watts creator of thepurpleproject.com and Tanish Cunningham: founder of theundergroundrailroad2succes.com...both of these ladies have dedicated their lives to helping children in foster care and aging/aged out!
Please applaud them, this is hard work, at times you stand alone, especially when you are just creating your vision... they held fast and now two projects are born to help thousands...this is the goal to help each other excell and then go back and help others still in the system!
"Teach one reach one and teach another"
Service to others is important because you help, save or change lives. You remember when your mom left you in a group home or when they took away the only sibiling you knew...remember how you felt..the pain i still feel today when i think of my baby brother Mark, that i will never see him again unless he finds me because he was adopted off...hold that pain for when you create an idea to help...that pain will give you strength to execute your plan. Don't be sad unless you are doing nothing...then get to work...
helping others also lets your pain fade into the backdrop because you are focusing on someone other than yourself...
service is also imortant because the world is in trouble if we don't figure out how to help these 30,000 or so kids that are "aged out" each year in the US!!! It is our issue to solve: God and the universe did not bring you through all the abandonment, abuse, chaos for nothing, he has big plans for you, helping others!

Smile, be kind to a child today, they are watching you!!!
xo You are loved, blessed and special, find your gift and share it with others....

happy mothers day!

Hi blog family,
Happy Mother's Day to all of you mom's and those that have helped others like a mother.
Hopefully we are doing better parenting than our parents did and we are rejoicing today because we can pat ourselves on our backs for all our hard work, which should show in our children!!!

If you don't have a mother or don't talk with her, still be happy she birthed you, the world would be less  without you, God bless you because the universe has many things yet for you!!
xo Tanya

The company you keep

hi blog family!
It's friday...plan to be out with your friends...speaking of friends..
How do you pick your friends?
I hope with caution!
Often we let people in our lives and we don't have a criterior. You should choose your friends carefully because they reflect you as a person. Choose people with charector, loyalty, humor and plans for the future. If your friend has no motivation, you may lose yours, depending on whose energy is stronger. It is ok to let go of friends that have no purpose, at this stage in your life your friendships should be give and take and both of you should inspire each other!
I had to let go of alot of my old friends because I found they always thought i was too big of a dreamer wanting to be in TV...they thought I should just give up my dream and get a 9-5, (knowing that I was not meant for conventional work, i am an artist), they would often want to go out drinking...that too me was pointless unless it was a holiday/birthday....and they never inspired me or liked that i traveled outside of the country.
I had to drop them, they were no longer needed in my life and i was not needed in there's...and it's ok..life is a journey and as we travel God brings us new friends, places to see and things to do...pick and choose your friends carefully, they could make or break you!
xo Tanya

True Happiness

Good day blog family!
I hope you are safe and well and learning to prosper. I hope you are working on being a better you and helping others spread a message of love...Tanya

What does a person need to be happy, especially after they have aged out of a system and went through life without parents or some family?


After thinking about this question for many years and living life a little, I think I know what one needs to have true happiness.....

Patience with self....for nothing comes, including change in one minute.


Self Love.....If you don't love you, who will? Does not matter that you had no parents, it matters that you come to accept you for you and accept your limitations, strength and greatness just for being, loving and wanting change..

Sprituality...of some sort, no you do not have to be "religious" just know that something is bigger than you and it will help you when you are thinking of harming yourself, others or just scared and confused...this "greater thing" will guide you better than your "parents" could, whatever "it" is, (some say God, Allah or higher being"....it is connected with you and your journey in this life, ever guiding you and teaching you new lessons, if you listen to this spirit guide, you can never go wrong...

Silence/Quiet....yes, you must learn to go somewhere for a place of silence: this could be walking for 45 minutes, it could mean going to quaker meeting, ( they sit in silence ),
it could mean going in your room with your eyes closed for 15 minutes,
 whatever time,
wherever does not really matter,
it matters that you have time to listen to what the universe/God is telling you,
yes, they talk all the time,
we rarely listen or we are so busy listening to
 tv, our friends,
our kids,
spouses, bosses,
 computers, cellphones,
we rarely have time to listen to our inner voice...
If you are to have peace,
Quiet is needed better known as "Silence"...this is your greatest weapon for clarity...in any storm....


Love....I know we did not get it as much as those with parents and some did not get any, that is ok, it is usually the first thing you learn as a mother takes care of you from birth BUT you can teach yourself to love not only you but others. Be able to meet ALL people on there terms, not yours....if your friend talks too much, so what perhaps you will learn something if you listen,
if your friend smokes and you try to tell them its bad for you,
don't preach them in the ground,
just let them know you love them and as long as they don't do it around you...
meeting people were they are at...
key to learning to love..
love also gives you extra energy...
if you give it away, you will always have it in your heart and spirit, luminating around you and attracting all the things in life you want...


ENERGY..this is big...
nothing in life on this earth operates without energy....
NOTHING, not the bug, fly, animals, computers, people....
All things have some form of energy...what makes us think we can navigate life without it?
YOU CAN"T!
 If you don't have any read the secret and buy the book the alchemist, by pablo quelo...read Anthony Robbins, "Awaken The Giant"...
you need some form of motivation..
you can also get it by helping others in need,
taking a long walk to clear your head, eating foods with nutrition. bluberrys, apples etc... not proceesed food or things that poisen the body....
 energy can always be found, usually starting with your mind...think:I want to get up today and move around, talk with positive people, they will always re-charge you...
Knowing you have ...Purpose...everyone is here for a reason, even the bad guy...find yours, it will keep you focused..
these are the basics to be happy...it was meant for you to be happy...seek it out if it is not already in your life!

xo Tanya
smile.....i am watching you!!!

Cure for Monday blues...

I know it's monday... same lesson as the kids....."

BE grateful for each day, for the next day is not promised"

just starting a new week.

 It was rainy and dreary for a while but the sun did try to shine today!!!

When you think of mondays, don't think of it as a bad day because it is the beginning, think of it as a new day to start new things!

I love mondays, everyone else is sleepy, dreading going to work, I am happy to be alive amongst the living and using my brain! 

 It is not promised that you will rise each day so when you wake ANY morning and see the day of light, you should be thanking God you made another day. It is not just another day, it is a chance to do something you never did before!

 This new day, beginning of the week or any time, is time for you to make new plans on how to better yourself:

 be a better friend, 

better person, 

more loving, 

more giving,

 do more art, 

singing, 

dancing,

 reading,

 writing, 

smiling,

listening

whatever,

 just do and be happy you made it to another day!!

xo Tanya

MAY: A poem for you, from "someone" on the internet...

Hi blog family, it is May. May is a time of renewal of all you know to get to the better you. It is also National foster kids month, be kind to some kid in a group or foster home, to any kid, they look up to us, make a good example, xo Tanya
Here is an email that was sent randomly to me but i thought i should share with you. It is a reminder in how great you are!




May today there be peace within. 
May you trust that you are exactly where
you are meant to be. 
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are
born of faith in yourself and others.
 May you use the gifts that you have
received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. 
May you be
content with yourself just the way you are.
 Let this knowledge settle into
your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing,
 dance, 
praise
 and love.
It is there for each and every one of us!


smile, someone is watching you!! Tanya