Gettting finances in order

Hi blog family!

It has been a while - but I'm always "here"...even when I don't post, I am checking in to see if anyone ask questions....the event was a success, our lovely Mayor gave us another proclamation!! What a surprise! I saw people that were touched by our speaker, Pat from Family Ties!! A few left wanting to foster older kids!!! What more could you ask for! Our 4 winners, know that our community has their backs and we support their hard work!! Special thanks to Ramuso who let us know why scholarships, no matter how small, helps!! Thanks to our kind donors who helped all 4 kids..ALL MONEY WENT TO KIDS...fliers, food, copies, FREE! God always sends us angels when we need them and we are working on 501c3 but the faithful still helped us. We proved you can help others....with your talent and without a dime!! Big thanks to ALL my brother Robert's friends...it would not be possible without you and Megan for starting the ball rolling...."We do what we can, when we can, with the gifts God gave us-teaching other foster kids to reach, teach and pay it forward!!"- Tanya/Megan/Rob

I was talking to my friend, who was also a foster child all his life, and he said something important: "I hope to get my finances in order, so that I can live without stressing money".  I also talked to another friend and then thought about my own situations: when I've had money , (as a model years ago), and when I did not an now....
It is tough to be laid off from full-time perm work with benefits...I fell victim but I survive, my foster mom use to say it is better to have $5 than not have any $!! And she is right! You can build off of SOMETHING....you cannot plan or make moves with 0....
My advice:
1. find any job or jobs that will pay you atleast minimum wage..(if you could waitress, its better, cash tipes will allow you to pay off debtors, student loans etc...)
2. If you can, work odd jobs, making jewelry, art/...selling at fairs/events
3. It is better to write down your plan of financial success, don't leave it to memory....:( mines is bad!!)lol
4. Stay confident that you will find a job! Dont give in or up!!
5. If you have NO skills....look for scholorships to take one class (filmaking, jewelry, writing)..whatever field you WANT to be in...NY film school, Jacob Burns Film Center, Communiity college, library, and job force in your area, sometimes you don't need a degree but knowledge of a skill...example...editing final cut pro...you don't need a degree, in fact most of you that love computers...could  take this one time class and become great editors of video's or movies!!!! Yes, its that easy...
6. ALWAYS ask about a scholorship...if you make less than $25,000 single or $30,000 with a kid...you usually qualify!! Yes, its a pain to get "references" but hey, you said YOU WANT to the universe??? then do your part!!
Nothing in this life comes easy BUT i promise you its a great world with lots to see and people to meet that can bring you to your next level of greatness!! God is good and working miracles in your life ALL the time you are alive!!!
Don't be discouraged if you are slower than most, you just have to find YOUR calling!!!! Life is wonderful but you need a financial plan
1. Save $1 for every $10 you make!! You must pay yourself 1st...
2. have one account for bills, one for emergency and one for "family stuff or your stuff' if single/no kids
3. write how much money you NEED to live comfortable and don't settle for "just making it"..BUT if that's all you can do...then enjoy it!!
You don't need to be on the wheel of life OR keep up with the Jones IF you know you have reached YOUR FULL potential of what God gave you!!! 
Always find ways to live better, make more income to be comfortable, never chase a $..that is why you should have 2 jobs if your  with no kids!!! when one check mess up, you have the other, never stressing over a bill...trust me I know all too well and that is why i share, so you DON'T make the mistakes I made!!!
Remember God loves YOU MOST!!! Your  Divine and powerful when you have faith, love and try to be all God wants you to be!!! xo

Tanya

May 18th celebration reminder

hi blog family!!

almost that time for me to do my share and spread the word, i will be raising awareness in my area!!! With all that is happening, it is important to have information on foster children... please come here me speak if your in the area, I promise-you will learn something!! You are loved and needed by this universe!! smile, someone is watching you!!

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD”

COME CELEBRATE NATIONAL FOSTER KIDS MONTH!

When: Wednesday - MAY 18TH

Time:       4:30PM - 6:45pm (Refreshments 4:30-5:30pm)

Where:   The Mount Kisco Public Library 

100 E. Main Street, Mount Kisco, NY 10549

 (Conference Room 2nd floor)

• Motivational Speaker, Tanya Cooper, will be, sharing her experience in foster care, raising awareness on foster care issues, tell why fostering and adopting older kids is important, how we can help and read an excerpt from her new self help book for teens :  Surviving Foster Care And Making It Work For You!
• Awarding a youth aging out with The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!
• One local Senior citizen will be recognized for helping youth! 

Each day gets better

Hi blog family!!

today will be better than yesterday...if you are blessed to wake you have chance to make anything better! encourage someone today, say a kind word, offer help to someone less fortunate, whatever you do - DO something to make the world better today!! xo Tanya
smile, someone is watching you, and you may save or change their lives xxoo
I hope if u will be in town, come here me speak May 18th Free!!!

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD”

COME CELEBRATE NATIONAL FOSTER KIDS MONTH!

When: Wednesday - MAY 18TH

Time:      4:30PM - 6:45pm (Refreshments 4:30-5:30pm)

Where:  The Mount Kisco Public Library 

100 E. Main Street, Mount Kisco, NY 10549

 (Conference Room 2nd floor)

• Motivational Speaker, Tanya Cooper, will be, sharing her experience in foster care, raising awareness on foster care issues, tell why fostering and adopting older kids is important, how we can help and read an excerpt from her new self help book for teens :  Surviving Foster Care And Making It Work For You!
• Awarding a youth aging out with The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!
• One local Senior citizen will be recognized for helping youth! 
• Q & A from audience 

• RSVP Reply to: tgirlcooper@yahoo.com 
• Visit our blogs of encouragement- GOOGLE: Fosterkidsunite, Exfosterkidsunite 
• fosterparentsonly.blogspot.com and fosterkidsonly.blogspot.com

New Year

Happy New year to you all blog family!

What time is it?

Time for reflection, 

time to move forward, 

not backward, 

time to heal old wounds 

time t recover from the storms losses. 

Time, 

Time,

 Your time to shine

Make a plan,

 write it down, 

breath it,

live it!

* be blessed for the new year and let no one bring you down, stay focused, positive and alert to all things good!

by:  xo Tanya

feeing down?

Soc Le Cour (this is the top of Paris, once you climb those stairs and look down you feel like you are on top of the world--YOU ARE--everyday if you believe it!!!
hi blog family!!!
I know the holidays are among us and this is a hard time for anyone without family OR anyone who did not get the holiday love and peace they deserved as a child. THis is a time where many take their own lives or may do more drugs or high risk behavior things.
I write to you today to encourage you to stay strong and know that YOU have divine purpose!! Yes, I say it often but i say it in truth. How do I know?
 How could you be so divine with so many problems to face in this life?? YOU are human and we are all here on this earth to experience ALL elements of this earth, love, joy, pain, excitement, family, whatever--each of us have our own map to follow.
For you NOT to be depressed, you have to erase the word from your vocabulary...use another like..i am feeling so challenged today.
 Don't allow negative words or people in your life...even if it means being alone until you find new friends, mates or family substitutes!! Life is hard but don't take it personal--we all go through something at sometime!!! The universe does not pick on one person, it has lessons, great, ugly and bad for ALL of us!! How you work through them or learn from them is the divine part, this will tell you how much charector you have! You must always believe that feeling down is only temporary--even slaves and those in the holocaust found  a second to laugh or smile at something...don't dwell on what you cannot change and if you can change it--get to work!!! You are needed: someone would not be here without you! Someone would die, cry or kill without you in their lives, you do matter most-don't forget it and spread love to someone today, call a friend that comforts you. When all else fails and you have no one look to the sky and tell the universe "thanks for my life, no matter where i am at" because i have life, i can always get more, do more and be more...xo Tanya

I thank the universe for you, because you are reading my blog which means I am doing something right...smile, we all love you and know you are important to the universe!!

How not to depend on social services..

Hi blog family! I hope your thanks give ing was good! I spent mine giving and then eating! Teach your children to give back BEFORE they celebrate turkey day and xmas...take then out to give food or clothes to the homelss. They need to see and feel why they should be thankful...

On another note: I know usually after leaving foster care many will end up needing section 8 or DSS (welfare).
I want to challenge you.
If you are on welfare.....be working toward a goal to become independent of it!
I don't think it will be here forever but you should utilize it IF you NEED it and cannot find a job but know that you still need to keep looking and thinking of ways to get income so that you won't need it!

Often we get caught in a traditional cycle--(grandma was on public assistance,mom, so i will too)... there are times when fate happens...an accident that put you out of work, sudden death of spouse, family financial tragedy)..when you will have to go to get help with heat, (heap), food, or medical--that is ok, but if you are expecting it because you aged out of foster care....that is not the mentality you want.
why?
because if you think you "deserve" it "forever" then you will always be dependent on it-forever!
Start thinking of it as a temparary solution only and think of ways to get off....
start making jewelry,
teach your  language to college kids or foreigners,
 babysit...
clean houses/apts (all you need to start is cleaning supply's and references)
you know how to hussle if you grew up in foster care! and I don't mean selling illegal things...i mean hussle like "creative  new income" for yourself that is legit.
 If you speak any language well, you can teach english...put an add up at a local college...if you make earrings, bring them to all the hair salons you know...craft fairs...you can always make money--IF you have something people need or want!! Use your brain power--people who grew up in foster care have extra--that's how we survived!! look at the show shark tank....these are people figuring out how to generate extra income or create a career for themselves--being their own boss. You can do it--anything you put your mind to it but you have to start thinking out of the box!!
smile someone is watching you!!
xo Tanya

assignment

Hi blog family!!
Your only job today is to go out into the big bold beautiful world smiling and "feeling" good! If you "feel" good good things will happen (so says the secret and me, i tried it)... how you feel determines how your day will go!
Please try feeling good today--no matter what obsticles come in your way--it workds your energy level rises and you feel like you won $1million dollars--and about to go get it---keep that feeling.....have a great day!!
xo Tanya

voting??

hi blog family-yes, it's me! busy with getting the book out trying before xmas!
Just wanted to remind you to vote today..you have until 9pm! If you don't vote, you should because:
1. our ancestors died so that we could have the right to vote
2. Rosa Parks lead a sit in so that we could sit anywhere on a bus
3. our ancestors need to know we honor them by voting and making our voices heard when we can-for ALL people!
4. if you don't-don't complain that your town, city or area has bad schools or not enough books, you did not vote, so we got "whoever" in office...
make a difference and let your voice be heard. If you want to make voting fun find a group of friends who like the same person for office-and all of you have coffee before work and then vote at the same time!! we must use our voice and teach every kid you know how to like politics by using his or her voice!!
you are loved blessed and special, Tanya

Suicide/aging out

Hi blog family!Sorry to tell you about this story but you need to know- YOU ARE NEEDED in this world-NEVER think of hurting yourself or others. Not only do you lose your life but OTHERS may die or go without because your not here to help. Remember- WE ALL have divine purpose!!! You are loved and If you are aging out or in care and feel you want to hurt yourself call 1800 suicide or call 911...someone is waiting to talk you down because YOU ARE SPECIAL! This is why I do what i do-so that none of us who use to be in care or are in care will ever feel like hurting ourselves or others- know that you are what the world has been waiting for! If you want to be inspired and get through anything-read my book, it will be available next week, in the meantime- write me if you feel down, DON"T hurt yourself-We need you!! RIP ERWIN!!

Victim 'aged out' of system

By Dan Nakaso 

POSTED: 01:30 a.m. HST, Oct 25, 2010

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FL MORRIS / FMORRIS@STARADVERTISER.COM

Friends and co-workers of Erwin Celes gathered at Little Caesars in Wahiawa, where he worked, to remember him. From left, Elena Raymond, Kimo Negron and Aldah Cendana.

Erwin Viado Celes hanged himself last month, just six months after he "aged out" of Hawaii's foster care system, and now his friends are trying to raise enough money to pay for his funeral and burial.

Celes' suicide highlights the sudden gap that island foster children frequently fall into once they become legal adults but have no reliable support or even a bed of their own, said David Louis, executive director of the nonprofit group Heart Gallery Hawaii, which works to find resources for foster children.

Services for Erwin Viado Celes » Where: Our Lady of Perpetual Help, 91-1004 North Road, Ewa Beach » When: Visitation from 9 to 10:30 a.m. tomorrow. Mass at 11 a.m. Burial at 1:30 p.m. at Mililani Memorial Park. » To donate:Donations may be made at any Bank of Hawaii branch or to Heart Gallery Hawaii, 3554 Aliamanu St., Honolulu, HI 96818. Checks should include the phrase "For Erwin Viado Celes" in the memo line.

When he turned 18, Celes received court approval to stay in Hawaii's foster care system for another year -- until his 19th birthday on March 12, Louis said.

After leaving his foster family, Celes bounced between homes in Waianae, Mililani and Waipahu until he was found dead Sept. 7 in Hawaii Kai, said Elena Raymond, Celes' friend and co-worker.

Celes spent 14 years in foster care and "didn't talk about it a lot," Raymond said, "but he would tell us bits and pieces about being in foster homes."

Louis called Celes' suicide "a preventable tragedy."

can you make a difference?

Hi blog family! My book is done, I will let you know where to get it next week...:)

In case I never mentioned it - I do motivational speaking for kids in care and social workers/agency's/foster parents..My consulting company: Fostering Connections email me or send me a message with your info!


can you make a difference after foster care? YES!! YOU!! CAN!! (no this is not Obama) but same principle..:))
We are all here for a purpose--to experience, challenge, then motivate for action!
WHatever you went through in foster care is OK--you survived!! If you are a foster parent experiencing a child who is challenging--its OK...YOU can make it better ..(i will share more with foster parents later)
If  you are a foster parent: most of you was called to do this work because YOU have a divine purpose= to raise a future king or queen!!
It is vital that everyone is on the same page: This child's mental, physical and phychological impact is our #1 priority AND preserviing it is our duty!!!
You as a former foster child
or foster parent can mentor to a kid in care--especially group homes because they have no individual attention..
show them how to live a good life: eating/dressing correctly (including what to eat), show them new adventures, the museaum, art gallery, Paris, NY, the local lake...show them what beauty lies in this world.

 They cannot move forward until they learn to appreciate the little they do have...counselors that care, staff that bends over backward to make sure they get grants for school or a tutor, food to eat.... those little things matter, now how you can help...help them plan for their future by putting them in activity's that allow them to show their talent or skills!!!
You are an advocate and if you don't focus and set goals, they will turn out like most foster kids who leave care- 47% no diploma, some homeless, jobless, kids early...500,000 kids are in care in the US....25,000 or so a year are leaving, it takes a village to raise a child...you can make a difference by doing SOMETHING--help them get an internship, show them HOW to work, How to dress, (I have created a workshop--model behavior 101,  (since i use to be a runway model in Paris/NY)--
just for etiquette, walking/body language, talking, and behavior etc..)

to foster parents..thank you

Hi blog family!
 thanks Griffith family for all your hard work. I will be addressing foster parents this blog but I also have something more later.

What foster kids need:

1. loving willing capable, functional parent/s that have a BIG heart unconditionally
2. read as much as they can about various abuse: neglect, etc... (then you will understand how to help the child with compassion..
3. if you have kids that are not related...keep an eye on any that was sexually abused...they may act out on it..(I talk about this in my book: "Surviving Foster care & Making it work for you"..
4. know that whatever your kids went through MUST be talked about, processed and worked through, with therapy, mommy love/therapy and community help ...it takes a village to raise a child....
5. set up a trust fund and put their money that comes monthly from the state for clothes/allowance put some of that money away, especially if they are young, it is priceless to have SOME funds when you age out--I had none and I was never given my money--although I always had the best clothes and food BUT a bank account would have been nicer and more helpful.... put something away and teach them the art of saving for a rainy day...
6. teach them they are the hero of this world, the universe is waiting for them to develop so they can help others...and share whatever gifts and talents they have...
7. make sure when they leave the door is always open for a holiday--I never had anywhere to go because i was sexually abused in my foster home--I loved the family--did not want to see my abusers...it's nice to have a place to go when you have no family...
8. be CAREFRONTATIONL-- Dr. Harris Straytner coined this phrase--approach with care and concern, not anger and acsusations..love heals all--even when your parents give you away or you went through abuse--with work, a loving family, therapy,,,,anyone can heal!! (I talk more to victums in my book) I will let you know where to get it soon,
This is it for today, I hope I helped and will do more for foster parents, smile, someone is watching and check out my other blog for teens fosterkidsonly.blogspot.com/
Tanya

what makes you special?

hi blog family:

As adults, have you ever wondered what makes you so special? think about this.
You survived foster care or something that you thought you would not make it through.
what makes you so special is the fact that YOU survived!!
my example of how everyone is special..
unfortunately, thanks to J. Steinbergh and H Nausbaum--Lisa Steinbergh is no longer here. It saddens me to think they took her life with no remorse! BUT how do I work through that pain of knowing a foster child was killed--by knowing she was special and  had divine purpose like all of us, even if it was a moment and to bring attention to foster kids being abused in NY. that may seem small but thanks to lisa, we now have a better system in place for spotting child abuse--

we have a long way to go but because of this case, some neighbor is a little more nosy,
some social worker is a little more into checking homes,
someone like you keeps your eyes open...all because of a special little girl named lisa.
We are all special and went through fostercare, abandonment, abuse or neglect for some reason--to help others stay alive!! Lisa steinbergh helped me realize why I was special and had to help others.

I ask you, what can you do today-to help others in foster care?
 If you are not a people person think of other ways you can help: be kind to kids in care, showing them a skill, mentoring, tutoring a foster kids, 
there are so many ways to help, think of how you can help..we can change the faces of kids in foster care, one kid at a time..we want them to leave feeling empowered.
WHat makes you so special--you remember how it felt to not have a family and YOU will help empower our future generation!!
I thank the creator for you, please realize why you are special-you are here to tell a story and save or change a life!! xo Tanya

Jim Rohn: How to Avoid Being Broke and Stupid

what he says may be harsh but LISTEN and LEARN, there is always a lesson for you! xo Tanya

toxic people

hi blog family!
glad you are still amongst the living...:)

my message today to you is: stay away from toxic people!
when you have done your best to help someone or befriend a person and they constantly throw you under a bus---leave the friendship.
It can only bring you up and down like a yo-yo--who wants that?
Sometimes people hold onto others thinking they "need" them...
You only need positive people that are healthy. Sometimes people appear wonderful but if you are around them long enough-you learn they are not healthy at all inside and it will show by how they treat you. Most people donot get the proper therapy to process what happend to them in childhood, ie abuse etc..) so they grow up as adults, looking for the same drama they had as a child, yelling, fighting, etc.. very crucial to process painful past issues, especially foster kids!!
 It follows you into adult hood and pops up in the way you treat people, use people, manipulate others...it will show up!!
As a foster kid, i loved being alone and enjoying me, so it is easy for me to "clean house" when friends are not acting right---learn to do inventory on your friendship stock---get rid of anyone who is not a blessing in your life and treating you with respect and desency--

a saying in the clinic world: "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"-
 learn to enjoy you,
do more writing, reading,
meditating,
exercising
 and more to help others, not hurt--peace and love Tanya

speaking in Maryland

Hi blog family!
I had a great time speaking with the hard truth panel for the last time today :( My book is finally Done! "Surviving Foster Care & Making it work for you!" I will get back to you on a release date!

 What a great audience of proffessionals that really came out to support youth in foster care!
I shared my story and then gave some ideas I thought could help. For those that were in care I am sure you remember the day your worker came and got you!
I remember being hungry!!
1. I suggested that they bring a piece of food when they go to confiscate a child from their home...along with a camera..to preserve their history! I never had a picture of myself as a baby or before 7...and the one picture I had....my birth cousin took and never gave it back... it would have been nice to see a photo of myself when I first came into care..
2. Be careful what we write in a child's record--it follows them for the rest of their lives....I remember when i read I was "slow"--when i first came in care!! I felt they should have considered I came from an abandonment/neglect situation....whom could I have learned from??? I did not start school until I was 7 years old....
3, Teaching kids in care to think positive, that they will be there own hero at the end of the day...by going to class, finding good support, loving self etc...and finding their gifts and talent at a young age will give them confidence...nothing like knowing you have "something" people appreciate.. your sense of value is increased..
4. hiring ex foster care alumni like us, My book, workshops I created, the blog of encouragement...kids like familiarity...we have been there, done that and now as Oprah says...the AHHHHH moments, but we share it with the kids BEFORE they age out!!

I had plenty more but we only had 20 minutes.....know that alot of people are working to change the lives of kids in foster care, thanks for listiening Maryland!! xo Tanya

"feeling Good"

"feel it"

Hi blog family,

today I want you to enjoy your Sat off..feeling happy and excited to be in this world..because YOU are needed~~ ONly think positive thoughts today and good things will come your way....stay positive and avoid negative energy suckers today....you are about the positive and FEELING good...(like you won 1 million dollars and your going to get it now).....start feeling the million!!!! xo Tanya

why me?

hi blog family!!

you see in the headlines today a man at the Discovery channel in MD took hostages--because he felt the programming was bogus...selling products rather than telling us how to be "green"...
what about the mother that threw her toddler in the water....so she could get even with her husband for leaving her??
well I feel sorry for these people and I can tell you how NOT to end up like them.............don't think why me?
Start with why not me and by realizing WE all go through something in life and we have to VALUE life and VALUE others lives along with the universe!!!
If you really understand how to value - then you can see why I feel it is your most important tool for fighting pity parties,  depression, homicidal/suicidal thought and the many other feelings from "things" that happen to us in life.
Often we want to have pity parties or blame others but look inside and value, respect YOU and what was naturally put on this earth..
once you see that vision you can always get through anything.

This lady and man felt hopless and had no regard for others nor themselves. How do you throw a toddler over a bridge>??? SELFISHNESS! how do you take someone hostage who has NOTHING to do with your cause..SELFISHNESS!! Your life is valuable in everyway--to you and to others!!!
 no matter what we go through in this life remember there will be other lives and this is only temperary, you don't need to kill yourself or others, believe me you will go-  on your own when the universe feels you did what you needed to do or that you are not going to act on what you were given to you!!
WOrk on how to destress.. walk, talk, sports, writing, reading, singing, meditating---
.times are hard and people are scared....
 everyone is watching our economy (but the evil 8% who have all the wealth or those who planned well and that's ok --you have to stay focused on staying postive and when you hear stories like this remember while none of us are far removed, this is not the kind of action you take to get attention--the action you take is working on you, finding your gifts and talents that can bring you extra money...and just learn to enjoy you and yours, without all the frills...I think you deserve the best but if you cannot right now or times seem hard, focus on what you DO have and how grateful we are to be amongst the living.... we all are worth something to the universe and each other, respect ALL life and all creatures, especially yourself enough to know times always can get better and you can pull through anyting, if you hold on long enough..... smile, someone is watching...Tanya