enjoying life on life terms

Hi blog family!


don't forget my book price has been lowered because shipping is expensive and i would give it for free if i could find a way!! www.createspace.com/3587372 for your copy!

How do we enjoy life on life terms after abandonment, abuse, neglect and for some, no family?

Like NIKE says: JUST DO IT!!
There is nothing stopping you from enjoying the VERY moment you are in!

 You decide if you will be angry, mad, violent, sad, depressed, lonely or not active in your own life!!
When you wake each day thank the creator for your life, for it is special and meant for divine purpose!
If a family member, friend, spouse, mate or worker is treating you wrong OR your clashing every time you talk or meet---ITS ONLY MIS-COMMNICAT-ION!!! = THEY ARE NOT HEARING WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING OR UNDERSTANDING THE MESSAGE THEY WANT TO GIVE!!
No matter if mean mother-in-law
child that won't listen
spouse that hurts you (although they have other issues...control, learned behavior or reaction from an action they saw as a child)
Find ways to accept your family member for what and who they are (even the bad, (unless they are hurting others physically)
find ways to deal with your boss who is a control freak, accept WHATEVER others  flaws may be, because if you dig deep, we all have some.

*** It is NOT our job to CHANGE anyone, each lesson in life is different for ALL of us!!! No one can learn MY lesson and I CANNOT, repeat, CANNOT learn another's lesson!!!!!!

If you remember this fact, life will be way easier and less chasing, arguing, proving, groaning, and analyzing wrong doers!!!
Live on life terms (as they say in the rooms)lol.. meet ALL people, places & things.....WHERE THEY ARE AT!! ENJOY TODAY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW, LOVE YOUR LOUD FRIEND AND SUGGEST THEY JOIN THE THEATER...LOL... JK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....:) ENJOY LIFE, YOU ONLY GET ONE!! PLAN WELL FOR YOU, NOT OTHERS AND LIFE WILL BE A JOY!! XOXO

PS. SMILE SOMEONE IS WATCHING YOU!!!! (AND LEARNING)..:)
TANYA

Words from Tony Robbins on Own...

Hi blog family!
I like to give credit when do AND if someone else can say something to save or change your life........I let them speak and share what they say!
Tony Robbins is a brilliant man who gets "how to live and enjoy life".... I got this from Oprah's own, (forgive me O) lol... but good stuff must be shared!!! enjoy!!

The life coach and host of Breakthrough with Tony Robbins believes in living a passionate life, a life in which fear is a counselor, not a jailer. Here, he shows us how to "step up" during our most intimidating moments:

1. Don't Turn an Excuse into an Identity
We need be careful of how we label ourselves, for example, saying "I'm an fearful person" or "I'm a weak person" or "I'm not a strong person." Usually that label comes from your current or past behavior, but once the label becomes a part of you, it starts to control you. So what I try to get people to understand is: Hey, you're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. You don't need a label. All you need to do is say, "I have to decide how I want to be now going forward."

2. Develop a Habit 
Courage is not the absence of fear. That idea is the biggest b.s. in the world. Fear is impossible to eradicate. If you were completely fearless, you'd be dead. People who are courageous are scared to the core—they just make themselves go forward anyway; they make themselves take some kind of action. Taking action, even though you're afraid, is how you become courageous—because courage, like fear, is a habit. The more you do it, the more you do it, and this habit—of stepping up, of taking action—more than anything else, will move you in a different direction.

3. Let Your Body Lead the Way 
Taking that action for the first time can be pretty rough. When it comes time to give the speech to the committee or snowboard down the mountain, don't hesitate. Don't start to analyze it. The longer you stand there, the harder it gets, because then your mind gets involved. If your challenge is mental, use your body. If it's in the body, use your body more aggressively. At 17 years old, I was on my own, sleeping in a laundry room. I had no idea what to do. I was so depressed. Fear is physically debilitating. I had to defeat it. So I made myself run until I thought I was going to spit up blood. I got stronger in my body, which, in turn gave me mental strength. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Tony-Robbins-How-to-Live-Courageously#ixzz1qqF2l66z

May is coming!

Hi blog family!

Yes, I was away because my computer was not working!!  I am back!! lol... hope you are all well!
Just letting you know,

left side is my brother Rob... :) nice smile right...it got us thru foster care...and he was the cutest kid, (along with my other baby brother that i am searching for (Mark)...who should now be around 42 yrs old.. (hint ...he grew up in Elmsford, NY!!)...less than 15 miles from us!!! :( still will not stop searching....the Internet is great!!!

back to the point...... (lol)
save the date: May 18th 2-4 
Place:  Mount Kisco Library, (conference room 2nd fl).. (RSVP)


if you are aging out of foster care in NY and going to trade school or college, please give me your email so i can send you the application!!!! 


Attitude is everything, we want you to apply or tell kids to apply that are aging out in June!!! My brother believed everyone deserves a chance and not everyone is an "A" student....we agree so as long as they got into a school (trade or college), you can have them apply (this is to all the social workers, counselors)...lol...
Fosterkidsunite, will be having its 2nd annual "Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship" awards ceremony!!  We are still trying to surpass our goal from last year, with the help of Robs friends, we hope to raise enough to award more than 4 aging out this year!!!!
Aside from giving a few young people a stipend for college or trade school, we will also be honoring a Rev from one of the largest residences and a Boys and Girls Club Director, both of whom have done major work with foster and group home kids!
We are hoping to raise awareness on the state of foster kids and how you can help as a community! May is National Foster care awareness month!

Thought for the day: Never allow anyone to steal your joy, be that your smile, your kindness, your patience or your understanding - life is meant to be joyful, loving and prosperous and you should live your life surrounding these principles- even on a day when someone attempts to ruin it!
Remember life is short but that's OK if you enjoyed it and did all you could to be the best you!

smile, someone is watching you....and do all YOU can while YOU can....with WHAT resources YOU have!!!
:) xo
T

surviving foster care & making it work for you book for $4.99

Hi blog family! Save the date may 19th fosterkidsunite will
Be celebrating national foster care awareness month again by awarding
Youth leaving foster care with the Robert cooper memorial Scholorship in mount Kisco, ny!!

When u have a life experience- share it with others!
You can get a copy of Surviving Foster Care and Making it work for you! at www.createspace.com/3587372
$4.99 not a bad price to save or change a life! xo

Tanya

enjoying the simple things

Hi blog family!
today is very easy.
How often do you get to enjoy the simple things in life after foster care?
Put down the worry and breath!
Nothing is worth stressing over,
example: even if i was going homeless, if i did not have the rent money or a job - stressing would NOT change the fact that i will lose my home....only ACTION will change the situation.

Perhaps you would have to go to a shelter or sleep on a friends couch BUT this is still not the worse! If you are breathing, have sound mind, sound judgement and use of your limbs (basic ones), I say you have endless possibilities!! Our ancestors went thru 50x worse than we are experiencing (slavery/Holocaust/potato famine etc..)...
Hold your head high and never be defeated!
As long as you have today.....smile, be happy and plan for a better future!!
If anyone just aged out of foster care please contact me or leave me your email -
 thanks
xo Tanya

Each day gets better

Hi blog family!!

today will be better than yesterday...if you are blessed to wake you have chance to make anything better! encourage someone today, say a kind word, offer help to someone less fortunate, whatever you do - DO something to make the world better today!! xo Tanya
smile, someone is watching you, and you may save or change their lives xxoo
I hope if u will be in town, come here me speak May 18th Free!!!

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD”

COME CELEBRATE NATIONAL FOSTER KIDS MONTH!

When: Wednesday - MAY 18TH

Time:      4:30PM - 6:45pm (Refreshments 4:30-5:30pm)

Where:  The Mount Kisco Public Library 

100 E. Main Street, Mount Kisco, NY 10549

 (Conference Room 2nd floor)

• Motivational Speaker, Tanya Cooper, will be, sharing her experience in foster care, raising awareness on foster care issues, tell why fostering and adopting older kids is important, how we can help and read an excerpt from her new self help book for teens :  Surviving Foster Care And Making It Work For You!
• Awarding a youth aging out with The Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship!
• One local Senior citizen will be recognized for helping youth! 
• Q & A from audience 

• RSVP Reply to: tgirlcooper@yahoo.com 
• Visit our blogs of encouragement- GOOGLE: Fosterkidsunite, Exfosterkidsunite 
• fosterparentsonly.blogspot.com and fosterkidsonly.blogspot.com

this too shall pass

http://youtu.be/8MMIsg9RyGo


go to the youtube video for: 
this too shall pass...xo Tanya


nothing good or bad last forever, so if times are hard or even unbarabel, hold on, the sun will shine and whatever you are going through will get better, meditate, pray and walk with your head up. You are loved, special and needed!! xo Tanya

problems or challenges

hi blog family!

Real talk- being without family can be a challenge at times. 
Like when you need $50 for gracery's because you had to pay for your medicine..because your insurance did not cover it)..have you ever had that one emergency that could literally make you homeless, carless, foodless, bookless (for you college aged out folk)..or that one time you NEED money to fix a health problem: teeth, antidepressant...whatever...it is a need BUT you don't get help that day... It happens when your on your own.
But I can say this: "this too shall pass"...this is what my foster mother use to tell me when i thought things were bad....all things change..
remember that and know that to have your health, sanity and choice of freedom....freedom to start a business making earrings or scarves next week!
you have choice, health to start a business cleaning cars or detailing for cars, you have a choice to start your babysitting service for poor mothers in your area...Don't ever think that you cannot get through a tuff time, the key is to stick it out!! Bad can't stay that way forever, even bad gets tired....
I know you will have ruff days but we all do, without family you may have to stick it out al little longer, but remember this builds charector and you will be the type of person that has gradtitude when you do have...don't envy or be jelouse of others who have family that bail them out- be grateful that you have a chance to be bailed out by the universe- because all things in this life change and be grateful for what you have today...

you are loved, special and needed xo Tanya

politics-what can you do

Hi blog family! Below is a quote from my friend Joyce in Italy- 


"Living your life fanatically cannot possibly be healthy for one's mental state. Live people and stop going crazy over politics, politicians and what they are and are not doing. It is what it is...Either do something to change your political situation and "walk like an Egyptian" or deal with it. But beating a dead horse will not change your country's situation"-JY


Alot is going on in politics now that is effecting you and I getting jobs! But we can sit and sulk or rise and take action. I am anti-war and always believe peace, talking and compromise should be the best solution. Only animals "fight" that is why we can talk and they can't- 
I stop watching TV because every time i turn it on-something depressing (a word i do not like), something telling me what to do, who to vote for- make your own decisions, do your own research-if you are interested- if not don't complain about our system-especially if you did not vote or protest! It is what it is-like the lady said and it will never be anything more, until we rise like the youth of Egypt or go to school to become law changers, politicians, head of state etc...  I am proud of the youth of Eygpt- they show that unity does work! I have a friend who is now able to go back to his country because of the victory! always stand for what you believe in or you will fall for anything!!! Life is beautiful, the universe is full of possiblities- but they will not come to you and change will not happen by itself, it takes each of us DOING something!!! 
You are needed by the universe- get up, get out and do something today that will save or change a life- xo Tanya

holiday blue's

Hi blog family!

I have been under the weather. alot happening, including losing my job! Worried? no not I! Why?

this brings me to my lesson for the day: Yes, it is holiday time, an awful time to lay someone off, but you know what I decided? You can never stop another from being what they truley are. If you lose your job during a holiday, don't worry, it was not meant for you! No crying, sulking, thank the universe for getting you away from misery.
So often we try to hold onto jobs we hate--and know we should not be in BECAUSE that was not our calling...but we stay because: "it's all I can find"
close to home,
convienent
safe,
comfort

STOP STAYING where your not wanted or appreciated--including in relationships with friends or lovers!!!
This is the new year, time to clean out old messes we made, you woke today, surely you can start over!
consider this time of year an adventure. If you want to find gold you must figure out where your going, how you will get there and what tools or people you will need.
Don't be sad if you have no family, go to your friends if you have none find a local church, they usually do holiday dinners. You have no reason, if you are alive with health (reasonable health), not to be going after your dream and following your heart. Life is short and when you die what will be your legacy?? You had a million dollars, you traveled the world or you helped save or change a life with your gift....I will take the last, thank you and happy holiday Tanya

feeing down?

Soc Le Cour (this is the top of Paris, once you climb those stairs and look down you feel like you are on top of the world--YOU ARE--everyday if you believe it!!!
hi blog family!!!
I know the holidays are among us and this is a hard time for anyone without family OR anyone who did not get the holiday love and peace they deserved as a child. THis is a time where many take their own lives or may do more drugs or high risk behavior things.
I write to you today to encourage you to stay strong and know that YOU have divine purpose!! Yes, I say it often but i say it in truth. How do I know?
 How could you be so divine with so many problems to face in this life?? YOU are human and we are all here on this earth to experience ALL elements of this earth, love, joy, pain, excitement, family, whatever--each of us have our own map to follow.
For you NOT to be depressed, you have to erase the word from your vocabulary...use another like..i am feeling so challenged today.
 Don't allow negative words or people in your life...even if it means being alone until you find new friends, mates or family substitutes!! Life is hard but don't take it personal--we all go through something at sometime!!! The universe does not pick on one person, it has lessons, great, ugly and bad for ALL of us!! How you work through them or learn from them is the divine part, this will tell you how much charector you have! You must always believe that feeling down is only temporary--even slaves and those in the holocaust found  a second to laugh or smile at something...don't dwell on what you cannot change and if you can change it--get to work!!! You are needed: someone would not be here without you! Someone would die, cry or kill without you in their lives, you do matter most-don't forget it and spread love to someone today, call a friend that comforts you. When all else fails and you have no one look to the sky and tell the universe "thanks for my life, no matter where i am at" because i have life, i can always get more, do more and be more...xo Tanya

I thank the universe for you, because you are reading my blog which means I am doing something right...smile, we all love you and know you are important to the universe!!

life lessons by Regina Brett

hi blog family, this is not written by me-but I think I should share!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40 If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Suicide/aging out

Hi blog family!Sorry to tell you about this story but you need to know- YOU ARE NEEDED in this world-NEVER think of hurting yourself or others. Not only do you lose your life but OTHERS may die or go without because your not here to help. Remember- WE ALL have divine purpose!!! You are loved and If you are aging out or in care and feel you want to hurt yourself call 1800 suicide or call 911...someone is waiting to talk you down because YOU ARE SPECIAL! This is why I do what i do-so that none of us who use to be in care or are in care will ever feel like hurting ourselves or others- know that you are what the world has been waiting for! If you want to be inspired and get through anything-read my book, it will be available next week, in the meantime- write me if you feel down, DON"T hurt yourself-We need you!! RIP ERWIN!!

Victim 'aged out' of system

By Dan Nakaso 

POSTED: 01:30 a.m. HST, Oct 25, 2010

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FL MORRIS / FMORRIS@STARADVERTISER.COM

Friends and co-workers of Erwin Celes gathered at Little Caesars in Wahiawa, where he worked, to remember him. From left, Elena Raymond, Kimo Negron and Aldah Cendana.

Erwin Viado Celes hanged himself last month, just six months after he "aged out" of Hawaii's foster care system, and now his friends are trying to raise enough money to pay for his funeral and burial.

Celes' suicide highlights the sudden gap that island foster children frequently fall into once they become legal adults but have no reliable support or even a bed of their own, said David Louis, executive director of the nonprofit group Heart Gallery Hawaii, which works to find resources for foster children.

Services for Erwin Viado Celes » Where: Our Lady of Perpetual Help, 91-1004 North Road, Ewa Beach » When: Visitation from 9 to 10:30 a.m. tomorrow. Mass at 11 a.m. Burial at 1:30 p.m. at Mililani Memorial Park. » To donate:Donations may be made at any Bank of Hawaii branch or to Heart Gallery Hawaii, 3554 Aliamanu St., Honolulu, HI 96818. Checks should include the phrase "For Erwin Viado Celes" in the memo line.

When he turned 18, Celes received court approval to stay in Hawaii's foster care system for another year -- until his 19th birthday on March 12, Louis said.

After leaving his foster family, Celes bounced between homes in Waianae, Mililani and Waipahu until he was found dead Sept. 7 in Hawaii Kai, said Elena Raymond, Celes' friend and co-worker.

Celes spent 14 years in foster care and "didn't talk about it a lot," Raymond said, "but he would tell us bits and pieces about being in foster homes."

Louis called Celes' suicide "a preventable tragedy."

E=Energy!

back to school Reminder about energy, friends & negative people

Hi blog family!
I know it's been a minute but I knew the kids started school and you have alot of work!
I want to remind you how to attract good friends at work and deal with negative people at work (or home)lol.......I hope you paid attention in science when they talked about energy!!

Remember: everything on  this earth...is made of energy
you are a ball of energy...some of us show it all the  time, some only when happy or excited.

I want you to do an experiment: (you don't have to tell anyone just do it)...

1.  go into a room (if you have kids try it with them) extremely happy, smiling, feeling great and watch everyone in the room shift their energy....
*once in while you get a person that is just plain "low" on energy, maybe in there house there was no excited moments...that's ok, worry about you and your kids),
2.  pay attention to how they looked before you came in and after you bought in all that good positive energy...
.3.  I bet they are smiling or atleast feeling more upbeat...

this "feeling" works for anything you do in life-- so try to always "feel" good, (tell yourself every morning that you won $50 million)--hold that feeling as if you really won...that will keep your energy up!!!
When your trying to attract new people in your life that are good and positive....it is imporant that you show that trait by trying to always have a smile on your face and a good word to say....to anyone...positive energy attracts positive energy.....negative energy attracts.....negative!

 Stay away from anyone who is'Toxic"--mean, negative, arrogant, evil....whatever you want to call them, they complain all the time and they never have answers or solutions to a problem, they are always jelous, envy or greedy or angry----they only add by fighting, cursing, saying bad negative things, they always looking for the worse--stay away...they will DRAIN your positive energy and shift it to negative...now you will have an attitude or be mad! If you have kids who are negative--shift them to positive by displaying postive yourself...they learned from someone in the home....if you were in a group home or negative foster home--that's where u got it from--it's ok..just change it NOW!!!! it only takes 5 seconds!!! yes, just a shift of your mind and you "feeling" good!!!
when everyone around you is negative..........
Donot let ANYONE steal your postive energy--you can share it to pick someone up or make someone smile but DO NOT let someone turn your energy into negative! not even your family or kids!!!!

HOW DO I KEEP POSITIVE ENERGY?
You do that by always being upbeat, positive, always coming up with a good solution to a problem, not complaining, FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF or worrying but thinking the BEST thing will happen in a situation--BECAUSE YOU DEMAND THE BEST SOLUTION!!.
ok, next topic............lol

I hope your meeting new friends that are going places....HOW WILL I KNOW????
they are usually upbeat and happy,
they go to class,
 help you with homework questions,
 encourage you to pick your head up--EVEN WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD!!
SOPOSE I HAVE A MEAN BOSS....???
IT DOES NOT MATTER WHO IS NEGATIVE OR MEAN.....IT MATTERS THAT YOU USE YOUR POWER OF ENERGY TO SHIFT THEIRS TO POSITIVE!! How??
1. if they are violent and make you mad---walk away for now breath and then address it at a calmer time.
2. if they just never agree with you...do what the boss wants, always smile and keep that "million dollar smile"-- ALL day !!! Don't let anyone steal your joy---- no one can hate on a smiling person or a happy person!!

 just try it, if you stand your happy ground---what can they say??

kill people with kindness or atleast with a smile....

if it's really bad i told take a walk, breath, stay positive and calm.... You are the master of your brain----you can do it on your own with positive energy....energy attracts energy..positive always wins!!!!

ok, you had a very important lesson today, i know its alot but I have to keep reminding you about energy becaue everything you do in this life--requires energy!! 

If you want to be on top or just keep living a quality life with endless hopes and possiblities--stay positive and happy--even when it seems like things are bad---keep your energy up....always feel like you won $50million dollars and your going to pick up the check now!!!!
You are loved special and the universe loves and needs you--cause you are it!!!! smile, someone is watching.....

on meds and want to get off?

Hi blog family!
I want all of you who are on medication to know that---you can get off! I am not a doctor and I donnot know everyone's situation but I know many people who were on hardcore meds and got off. I believe if you are suicidal or homicidal--you may need meds because we don't want you hurting yourself or anyone else over an illusion or a problem that seemed important--but was not worth you going to jail or heaven early!!
You have to learn to meditate--why? becaue it helps you clear your head of extra voices, thoughts, ideas and garbage!!
The brain is thinking ALL the time!!! In my opinion no one is "crazy" they just allowed too many thoughts to enter--that were bad thoughts and they allowed their spirit to die--the "thing" that tells you not to do something because it is bad... follow me.... We all have had crazy thoughts or thoughts that we knew could get us in the mental ward if we followed the thought---so with that no one is "crazy" they just listen to the bad or evil spirits--which could come from childhood issues that were never talked about...mental, physical or sexual abuse etc.. the mind is reacting to a trauma and sometimes I believe people create other charectors in their head to protect themselves from the pain they are having....
If you are a person on meds for depression, bipolar, anxiety, whatever the reason...if you do mental conditioning..(retraining your brain...anthony robbins,, awaken the giant--read it__) you CAN get off meds BUT you have to do month, sometimes years of work..depending on how long you supressed your feelings of anger, helplessness, fear etc..... it does not happen overnight and you will be doing mental work to get through!
THere are people who will always need meds--and that is ok --if you are going to therapy and really sharing to help yourself with past issues...the mind can do ANYTHING you want it too....ask those who survived the holocausst and slavery (well the ancestors)....how were they able after being abused for years in camps and prisioners of war--how were they able to function during and after the abuse??? they did it with thier mnds!!! Nelson Mandela, how did he release his anger, fear and go on to run a great country..(that was taken)...??? so many people have survived being "out of their minds" during an autrosoty--so can you... take the word depression out of your language--replace it with "I am being challenged today"....don't let anyone tell you how you feel!!! start by telling yourself you are grateful for your life and a chance to go out and change the world EVERy day you get up and breadth---many did not make it through the night!! the universe needs you--wake up and take back your life!!
Stay positive-start youtubing self help guru's like anthony robbins--change your mind--change your life!!

words of encouragement...

Hi, please check out the article adoptuskids.org did on me.  


my words for today... think of how to make life better and more enjoyable everyday...what can you do to help others? 
Thinking of others will help your problems seem small and you will be too busy helping to have time to be sad about your own issues...
we all have them, 
what can we do to help others, so that we can focus less on our problems?
 If you don't have an immediate solution, help someone else until the answer comes... 
keep smiling, you may save or change a life!! xo Tanya


http://adoptuskids.org/resourceCenter/parentSupport/adopteeStories/story.aspx?k=Tanya

ways to spot depression, ways to get depression out of your life..

Hi blog family!
Just wanted to remind you about this ugly word...it pops up often in life....


10 ways to spot depression, BEFORE it gets out of control!
1. sad all the time, even when things are good
2. overeating
3. dating people you know are bad for you, (abusive)
4. sleeping all the time
5. doing drugs OR drinking your problems away, addiction of any kind, food, sex, drugs etc...
6. letting yourself go, to the point it is unhealthy
7. feeling hopeless and helpless most of the time
8. being angry all the time or acting out with violent behavior/attitude...
9. trying to hurt yourself or others
10.mentally unstable, not paying your bills, going to work, feeding your kids, etc..

10 ways to delete depression from your life!


1. Take the word "depression" out of your vocabulary...don't ever use it, pick a new word that is still positive..example: " I feel "challenged" today or " I will have extra strength today to face any clouds that try to come in my life today". Redirect the feeling don't let it direct you...
2. Eat to live, not because there is food! (i got that from a book, "Eat to Live"..._
No guessing what to eat or how much just ask yourself: did this food come with the earth or did man have a hand? Potatoes could have been here but potatoe chips were not....cookies, licorice, icecream, all of these foods should be a treat maybe once a month...not to fill a void of loneliness or sadness.
3. Only date or have friends that think the world of you, how do you get them? GO OUT to good places like the museum, book readings, join a board that helps people,  whatever, just get out and let people see you and get to know you are great! But first you must tell yourself so until you believe it!
Don't waste your time with anyone that does not value YOU!
4. Spend every moment awake bettering yourself with reading, writing, walking or sports!
You should be happy to rise everyday--no matter what is going on,
You did not have to be here be grateful God allowed you one more time to find your life mission and help others!
 No matter how upset something makes you, think, "i am alive with my mind" and go from there, yes there will be test but again, this too shall pass....
5. Addiction is a serious problem the world is facing. I believe IF we talked more and procssed what happened in our lives that did not work, there may be less drug use!
Whatever issue you have, you must work through it so that it does not consume you mentally or send you off to the drug world..you are only out of pain for a few minutes, the pain always comes back unless you grab it by the head and face it!!
I realize there are some who will die from addiction but they gave up at some point...You are worth the fight, never give up on yourself.
6. Always look your best, even in jeans, you never know who you will meet and it feels good knowing you look put togeather! You have to phych yourself out, that means in words, and dress!!
7. Nothing is hopeless! When I loss my brother, i wanted to feel hopeless but i had trained my mind too long to stay down to long and I know my brother would not want me to be in pain, so I decided i was not going to be hopeless, I was going to be helpful.....get busy helping others, children foster care programs, hospitals, there are plenty of places that need your help...you won't have time for pity if you are busy helping others!
8. Be Happy! anger does nothing but drain your energy...who wants that? people attract to happy people and if they don't...watch out for them if they are not happy...sadness is contagious!! Try to make happy contagious. When your angry you put negative vibes in the air, nothing can get done...
9. Love yourself, not hurt yourself! God did not put you here to destroy yourself with drugs, drinking, killing, or hatred. The universe has plans for you, you just have to figure out what they are...you are God's most valuable gift to the earth, don't do anything that hurts you or your mind, body or soul!! we need you to help the next kid!!
10. "The mind is a terrible thing to waste".. that is the best saying i have heard! Use it and fill your mind with good, positive information...not to belittle yourself or hate yourself. You are loved, blessed and highly favored, know this and you shall never be "depressed again"...xo
Tanya

Just when u want to give up

Hi Blog family!
Just some advice: There are times when you try your best and no one understands or will listen, there are times when you try to be your best, but life situations gets in the way and make you fall of your cloud of joy you were riding....so I thought a poem of sorts may help pick you up...


When the going gets tuff and you think you can't keep going....keep going.
The bad cannot last forever so stick it out!
You are loved and special!
XO Tanya

Do ou need therapy??

If you are at least 30 OR you have had any kids by now all childhood issues should be resurfacing...

I had a friend say to me when my child hood abuse resurfaced:
"whatever childhood issues you have not resolved by the time your 30, will haunt you like a ghost!"
 It took me years to understand what she was saying, but now I do and i want to share with you, especially if you were in foster care or come from an abusive or crazy home!
The point of this sharing is so that you can start your life, the way you want and be happy. Everyone deserves a quality life!
I will give you a warning: some of this may require you to do at a therapist, (especially if you are Bipolar or on Medication for depression or if you get down when you talk or remember your past).
It is ok to stop reading or print this out and bring with you to discuss later!
You are strong and you are now an adult, which means you survived and you are in charge now! Learning to talk or write your feelings down will help you live without medication and be honest with yourself, no longer having to cover for family or anyone who mistreated you.

1. Do you suffer from depression, (besides being sad when you don't have money or you did not get the job.)?
2. Are you always complaining, especially about certain people, family, friend, love, mate?
3. Do you do things to put yourself in danger; cutting, binge eating, not eating, attracting mates that beat you or call you out of your name?
4. Do you feel this sadness never goes away, are you always gloomy?
5. was your parents or careiver gloomy, mean, bad?
6. how do you feel about YOU? good bad ok etc..
These are just some questions that you have to truley answer to find if you have isues from childhood, THEY DO NOT HAVE TO BE SEXUAL or PYSICAL ABUSE! IT could have been mental, the way someone expected too much or too little or favored a sibling over you, all of these can effect you in adult hood, question is is it stopping you from everyday life? Dating? being a good parent, who is not yelling 90% of the tim, or a good friend who can interact with others and give as well as recieve advice, etc..??
ask yourself if anything happend in your childhood that made you upset, angry or depressed, (not because you did not get something or minor regular childhood woes...) whatever it was made you hold a grudge, that you have not let go of...
See if you need therapy, you can always just go talk for a few sessions and let them evaluate you...i want you to know this is your life and its all about you!
clean up ANY skeleton's and move on!
 Life is waiting for you and all you have to offer, share what gifts you have and help others ; painting, singing, writing, oranizing, etc....
get help if you need it, there is no excuse for staying in the past, you cannot move forward until you prosseced what  happen, why and how it effected you today.
We all have problems, lets say we all carry LUGGAGE, i carry a Louis Vitton, the best, don't walk around in life carrying a backpack or cheap bag, it may break, carry your past in something that will hold up during bad weather and lots of milage,
life is to be a long trip!
 xo Tanya