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Monday, November 29, 2010

How not to depend on social services..

Hi blog family! I hope your thanks give ing was good! I spent mine giving and then eating! Teach your children to give back BEFORE they celebrate turkey day and xmas...take then out to give food or clothes to the homelss. They need to see and feel why they should be thankful...

On another note: I know usually after leaving foster care many will end up needing section 8 or DSS (welfare).
I want to challenge you.
If you are on welfare.....be working toward a goal to become independent of it!
I don't think it will be here forever but you should utilize it IF you NEED it and cannot find a job but know that you still need to keep looking and thinking of ways to get income so that you won't need it!

Often we get caught in a traditional cycle--(grandma was on public assistance,mom, so i will too)... there are times when fate happens...an accident that put you out of work, sudden death of spouse, family financial tragedy)..when you will have to go to get help with heat, (heap), food, or medical--that is ok, but if you are expecting it because you aged out of foster care....that is not the mentality you want.
why?
because if you think you "deserve" it "forever" then you will always be dependent on it-forever!
Start thinking of it as a temparary solution only and think of ways to get off....
start making jewelry,
teach your  language to college kids or foreigners,
 babysit...
clean houses/apts (all you need to start is cleaning supply's and references)
you know how to hussle if you grew up in foster care! and I don't mean selling illegal things...i mean hussle like "creative  new income" for yourself that is legit.
 If you speak any language well, you can teach english...put an add up at a local college...if you make earrings, bring them to all the hair salons you know...craft fairs...you can always make money--IF you have something people need or want!! Use your brain power--people who grew up in foster care have extra--that's how we survived!! look at the show shark tank....these are people figuring out how to generate extra income or create a career for themselves--being their own boss. You can do it--anything you put your mind to it but you have to start thinking out of the box!!
smile someone is watching you!!
xo Tanya

Thursday, November 25, 2010

thanks giving


Hi blog family!

Today is a time to reflect on when the pilgrams tricked the Indians....lol...Just kidding... :) gotta have humor!!!

This is a time to reflect.
I know we have been taught to celebrate but what are you celebrating? life? giving? love? the chance to help others?

I believe every thanksgiving should start with early morning cooking,
20 plates prepared and taken to an area you know homeless people would be today,
and then....
come back home and have a feast of thanks!
--thanks that you were spared another year,
 thanks that you had food for you AND for others,
thanks that you have and give love to others,
 thanks that you can help others,
this is what thanksgiving should be about,
teaching our young to go out and help others first--
perhaps give away that coat you never wear,
perhaps bring a scarf and old light worn pair of sneakers..
something to show the universe that you are thankful and a person of change.
If you give of yourself, it lessens your worrys AND the universe always rewards those that give by brining more peace and love into your life, Happy thanksgiving please reach out and help someone today...even invite someone with no family over, and then eat!!!

Tanya

Sunday, November 21, 2010

black Male in trouble???




I hope you are having a great weekend!!foster parents: pass on to your son's please...
I love all of my blog family but just like a mother has to give some of her kids extra hugs-- because one may need it more than others--i am sending a special message because it is needed--like a mother-i have nofavorites--i just do what i have to do to mentally build my child up to greatness!!:)
* with that said: special note To all my minority males!!!*
I read an article on NILA website talking about the condition of young black males-that they are in a bad way basically.
I want to tell you...stop letting ANYONe or any MEDIA put bad ideologies  in your head!! You are not in a crises physically it's mentally!! why? because we have allowed the media to judge us, tell us what is or is not good for us and what we do--we forgot- you are it.

Make no mistake there is no "problem with the black male eccept--he is allowing everyone to define him but himself! If you are a black male reading please know that your history says you were king. News flash...YOU STILL ARE KING!!"
 all men are created equal"
you have been told lies that: "most" of you rob, quit school, in jail, steal, abandon family--and now the false wording that the media put on you is 'appearing' to come true because that is all they show of you!
This is why I get ticked off at the lil waynes/nicky minage or any artist that promotes blacks as funny charectors rather than a people who come from a great lineage of kings and queens--but they won't tell you that--that is why you have to do your own research!!

 All people are great but we are only told about certain cultures or religions as to keep those in the limelight and portrayed as good- don't get it twisted we are equally great--all of us!! latino, polish, black, jew muslim, christian, ALL-
Everyone has divine purpose as I always say and you are no ecception!
WHen you hear negative things in the media about black men blow it off and know they are only talking about a few not all and they definatley are not talking about you becasue you are handling your business of being number one and enjoying this life!
You are king and should laugh when anyone tells you different... keep reigning but keep doing what you have to do to take back your kingdom--especially your mental kingsom!!
go to school to be: lawyers, doctors, engineers, scientist...kings creat solutions for the universe, they cannot be self centered or small thinkers, they think out the box--don't sell on a corner or sell your soul--you are king!!

keep your heads up you are not "extinct" you are in need of a new mental attitude!! wake-up!! Tanya
and anyone else this applies to you-you must think the highest of yourself-even in foster care!!

Friday, November 19, 2010

assignment



Hi blog family!!
Your only job today is to go out into the big bold beautiful world smiling and "feeling" good! If you "feel" good good things will happen (so says the secret and me, i tried it)... how you feel determines how your day will go!
Please try feeling good today--no matter what obsticles come in your way--it workds your energy level rises and you feel like you won $1million dollars--and about to go get it---keep that feeling.....have a great day!!
xo Tanya

Thursday, November 18, 2010

what is your biggest fear after foster care?

Hi blog family!
What is your biggest fear after care? HOMELESSNESS! quite often when you leave foster care you are faced with many challenges: finding an apartment or room you can afford-while making $9 and hour, food, warm clothing. There usually is no one around to help and if they are-they are probably on drugs or more concerned with there problems.
What can you do to assure you will not be homeless (or again)?Nothing is full proof BUT...
1. If you are on public assistance- get into school-now! learn something of value...health field, food, something you know will never die: keep in mind we must, die, pay taxes, get sick, eat and have clothes!! if you are enrolled in a program atleast you know 2 years from now will be better than today. You can prepare for a better future even if you have to start with your GED!! Your local community college has many programs that will get you finacial aid and sometimes you even have money left over! DOn't sit around waiting for your DSS check to get bigger--in fact it may go away one day...plan on it by planning to do something different than you been doing!! GET YOUR EDUCATION if it's free!!!
2. Put something away every check-even if it's $5 - you have to start building an emergency fund. incase your sick, out of work, need something etc.. if nothing else you can put your tax money away...atleast some. I know this may be the only time for you to buy clothes or extra things needed but think of how nice it feels to say you have $1,000 or so in the bank...:)
3. look into section 8 voucher's in your area- see if you can get on a waiting list- if you make under $40,000 with a family of 3 or 4 (check) you may qualify.. you will be paying 30% of your income instead of 80%!! big difference!! You should not have to live paycheck to paycheck (although most of us do) but find ways to get help! google section 8 voucher program in your area.
4. Search for the answers you need. learn how to advocate for yourself! No one is going to give away money-atleast not advertise it-no one will tell you there is affordable housing, food pantrys (that are better in the suburbs usually..smaller the town the better (and the higher the taxes - people tend to give nicer items and even food may at times be organic..YOU have to check around ask the church, a counselor at your kids school...there are resources out their-you just have to look.
Times seems hard right now but keep your head up and know that this too shall pass- is my favorite saying because this day will not be repeated, especially if you take action- is what i learned from this saying.. secure your future of a safe, loving home, being comfortable, free with nature, giving to others, secure your future by planning today and getting ANY help or services you need to better yourself..
have a great day and smile, someone is watching...xo Tanya

Monday, November 15, 2010

Maintaining your health

hi blog family!
my friend Ela reminded me how important staying healthy is. If you lived in group homes all of your life or with foster familys that ate a unhealthy diet, chances are  you learned there bad habits. The economy is facing challenges but you need to stay healthy so that like alot of AMericans-you won't end up broke because of a medical bill.

Here is info I am passing on: Please take your eating habits serious as heart disease, diabetes are killing us faster than any other illness!
without you-the world does not exist for someone.....think about that..your kids, your friends, that person who you saved from suicide because of your kind word, that homeless person that got a job and motivated because of your smile and look of hope  at them one morning- we are all needed to complete this cycle on earth. take care of you, without you someone will not be...xo

Avoid Personal Financial Ruin by Staying Healthy!

Most families in the U.S. are already only one bad diagnosis away from a financial catastrophe, and with the looming collapse of the US economy, many more people are at risk of abject ruin should their health fail.
To me this is yet another compelling argument to stay as healthy as you can, by following the recommendations on this site.
It is my strong belief that your body is designed to stay healthy. All you need to do is give it the raw materials like healthy unprocessed foodsleepexercise,appropriate amounts of sunshine to optimize your vitamin D levels, love, emotional balancing and stay away from toxins and poisons and you won't need to set foot in a doctor's office or hospital, barring an accident.
Even in a healthy economy, it is wise to follow ideal health guidelines, as all the money in the world will not protect you from disease if you fail to follow these guidelines.  However, in this troubled economy, poor health has the potential to ruin you financially -- which will only make everything worse.
In addition to optimizing your health, there are many other reasons for buying local (and preferably organic) foods, including supporting the local economy, building a stronger community, and ensuring future access to healthful food.

Friday, November 12, 2010

life lessons by Regina Brett

hi blog family, this is not written by me-but I think I should share!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40 If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

getting it togeather

Hi blog family!

After years in care and running around guessing how life is sopose to go- how do you get it togeather?
You know you should: lose weight to be healthy
get a new job--because this one is not your calling
find a new mate- because this one is not the person to help you go to  the next level in your life, in fact, they are keeping you "comfortable".
take that class to get that diploma/degree
move-because the area you live in is a danger to your children...
whatever the issue, it is hard to stay focused after foster care. You spend so many years running around and just getting by-its hard to transition to "being the best and only allowing the best in our lives!

a few ideas to foster change in your life--and know this is STILL a challenge for myself as well...
1. meditate- put a visual on what you want and how to get it...the first what with deep meditation-will bring clarity.
2. don't allow negative people or responses to be in your life or vocabulary!
3. write it down-- if you can see it you can believe it!! the fancy car, new home, new mate, new life--write it down...
4. work on your gift or talent (you know what it is..people tell you you sing out of this world or you always good at helping them with your problems (counseling)--you should have an idea by 25...some know earlier but no one helped them develop or see the gift..
5. follow you instinct and don't 2nd guess yourself--go with what your inner self said-usually you won't be steered wrong.
6. act!! like Nike says: DO IT!!!

we only have one life-it is short, enjoy it and do what you were born to do-so that you will help, save or change someone elses life!!!
xo Tanya

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Parents purpose

hi blog family!

I know it was hard being in care, especially if you were taken from your parents, they died or they gave you away.
I have good news for you that should help you get it! Don't carry bad emotions into adulthood, express what you need to now. Work on how to make you better now. Yesterday already happend!

YOUR PARENTS ONLY JOB SOMETIMES--IS TO GET YOU HERE!
yes, you heard me right. not all parents were meant to raise the children they birth. 
Why?
 Because the universe has many good people waiting to help you in your life journey.
 You must always remember this life is not about YOU, it's about WHAT you do to save or change a life.  What example are you setting for your kids to make their lives better and more productive?
You were born with a gift that no one else has. 
You were born to keep someone else from dying or being sad. You were born to find a cure for cancer, AIDS. You were born to have your great kids - who will rule this planet with their new innovative ideas!
You were born for a reason!

Now that you know this-live your life EVERY day thinking: what is my mission TODAY to find out what my gifts are AND how can I help save or change a life today?
Your problems always seem smaller when you are helping others. Things may be rough at times-as life bring many things our way-especially fosterkids it seems but don't take it personal, consider it a challenge or lesson to learn.When your back is against the wall- will you come out fighting or wither away because you are scared? NOT you came this far certainly nothing is worse than losing a parent or siblings to foster care! If you made it through- think of why and then why not you? not everyone is made as strong as you-that is why you are chosen!
 Life has many challenges-but you must face them with your head high and walk proud because the universe needs you and someone needs your help- who are you going to help while helping yourself become the great star that you are? Go out into the world each day shinning like a star! You have divine purpose xo Tanya

Sunday, November 7, 2010

communication

Hi blog family!

I find that when dealing with anyone for anything: COMMUNICATIONS is everything!
 If you say something and I don't understand-we have a problem 1. i will respond wrong,
2. not respond or
3. not how you wanted.
When dealing with people- you can get more from them if you effectivly say what you need or want. Speaking plane english also helps! no big words needed.
When I meet someone i don't like-which is rare- it is because i dont understand their value system or how they operate and they come across as negative or mean spirited.
So if you want to learn how to talk effectivly so that you always make friends/associates, practice how you will say it and to whom. After years in foster care adults tend to still mask what they really want to say--because they were not allowed to say it before so they never excercised their power of words. learn how to say and what to say in 15 seconds to get your point across-most people don't have an attention span after that...
talking/communicating is an art-not many of us know this or practice- i suggest everyone learn to speak more effectivly to get what you need in this life! hope something was learned from old behavior xo Tanya

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

voting??

hi blog family-yes, it's me! busy with getting the book out trying before xmas!
Just wanted to remind you to vote today..you have until 9pm! If you don't vote, you should because:
1. our ancestors died so that we could have the right to vote
2. Rosa Parks lead a sit in so that we could sit anywhere on a bus
3. our ancestors need to know we honor them by voting and making our voices heard when we can-for ALL people!
4. if you don't-don't complain that your town, city or area has bad schools or not enough books, you did not vote, so we got "whoever" in office...
make a difference and let your voice be heard. If you want to make voting fun find a group of friends who like the same person for office-and all of you have coffee before work and then vote at the same time!! we must use our voice and teach every kid you know how to like politics by using his or her voice!!
you are loved blessed and special, Tanya