Taking action when the odds seem low!

Hi blog family!

* Reminder* May is National Foster Care Awareness month - Fosterkidsunite will be having our Robert Cooper memorial scholorship award ceremony at the Mount Kisco Library May 18th 2-4 2nd fl conference room!
( RSVP) You don't want to miss it, this is a time we find those aging out and off to school and award them with a stipend for their hard work and their future journey in life without major family support! If you know anyone in NY that is ageing out and could use money for books, transportation or toward tuition, please send me their email and I will forward an application!

Hope you are all enjoying the lovely weather by getting OUTSIDE, walking, biking, enjoying this lovely earth!

I know as a former foster child that at times when you are trying to keep your head above water; (work two jobs, smile- even when your not happy, be kind, feel family love, (when their is no mom to give a hug), just basic life skills of "making it" one day at a time - can be a challenge!
Why?
 If you grew up in group homes all of your life OR lived in foster homes who had parents that were more like gatekeepers than caregivers...lol..(some of you know what I am saying)... all of these can make it a daily struggle.
What I want you to do: 
1. always remain hopeful - ("we never give up!) :)
2. Focus on what you DO have and CAN do: (good friends, good mate, job, the fact that YOU are breathing, (and not on life support - if your reading this), the fact that YOU are here, (we all know with our former parents who were addicts, WE COULD HAVE DIED before we got to care; via abuse, neglect or your mom could of said let me not have this baby!!! I know its harsh but - don't ever forget that YOU are Alive!!
We often fall into pity parties" and forget that we are living - that means everything!! it means a new start every day you wake!
It means you can forgive (OR be forgiven) for the crazy mistake you made yesterday!!!
It means you can start over!! Do you know what that means in a world without parents??? Start over is everything!
When you age out (or those that did), don't be sad, be happy that now you can live your life how YOU see fit!
But it takes hard work!
Effort,
resistance and....
persistence!!
You Have to always be ready to take action - even when the odds are low! (w
You and I were born to beat the odds, in fact, as long as you are alive, breathing and with sound mind, chances/odds is our biggest weapon in the fight for a good, quality life after foster care!!!
Get excited every time you wake in the morning - even if its raining, even if you woke up to negative energy---only you can control how you "feel" - their is NO excuse for staying down- as a former foster child i am constantly falling.....and getting back up! There is nothing wrong with you if you experience sad feeling occasionally! There is nothing wrong" if you feel lonely-- even in a room full of people!
There is nothing wrong" with having the odds" "appearing" against you- remember you grew up in foster care NOTHING can shake you!
 How many people could survive AND be happy after losing parents at a young age or being separated from your sibling?
As human beings, we are more resilient than we think! Think of what you ancestors went through and still made it our alive AND produced many more generations!!!!

You are a winner - always know this, in fact- never allow anyone at anytime to tell you otherwise!
We must stay strong when the odds seem low--especially after foster care by: educating yourself, traveling the world when you can, helping others (it teaches humility), meditating/quiet time to listen what the universe or God is telling you!

You have a heart, follow it, nurture it, even if that means finding GOOD things to fill the void of not having family or a loving" mom/parent... find good friends/mates, love others more by giving your time to the needy....trust me it takes the spotlight off of "YOUR" problem! (remember everyone hurts sometime!!!!
Life is wonderful, full of surprises - don't give up at the first sign of trouble!
 
Dont forget, when the odds are against you:
Raise your head high and strut down the runway of life...all eyes on the winner-YOU!!!!

Have a great day and remember to smile, someone is watching you!!! You may save or change a life!! xo Tanya

Oprah said...

hi blog family!
I like to write my own blog but today i will share something from Oprah's life class! I am sure she does not mind as she is a "life learner" and those who are about life know that learning, support and love are key to life!

Photo: George Burns © Harpo Inc.

Many of us think that our power is a tool or a weapon, but, in fact, power is a state of being, the way you see, hold and handle yourself in the world that then determines your experiences. The external world can only respond to the way you hold and handle yourself internally. If you show up as weak, broken, confused and dazed, the world is going to respond to you that way. If you show up as confident, kind, compassionate and loving, then the world is going to respond to you that way.

This is why we have got to understand that you do not have to do anything to have power. That said, there are some surprises when it comes to your power, ones that, if understood, can improve your ability to tap into it:

1. Power is your birthright. Your power goes back to something very simple.

At the highest spiritual level, you are made in the image and the likeness of the creator—whatever you call that creator—the source of life, the source of all things. You are one with that source—the same source that makes trees, tornadoes, sunshine, the ocean, the mountains, people. You have the same capacity, the same inherent light and the ability to create. This is your birthright. You were born with power. No one can take it away.

2. The only thing that can diminish your power is your belief that you do not have it. Repeat this to yourself. Every day.

3. Gold stars do not affirm your power. The way life is designed, we are programmed, conditioned and educated out of our power because we have been programmed, conditioned and educated to please others, to do what others say and to do what others are doing. Here's my classic story: When I went to school, they used to have a board where, if you did your work well, you got a star. There were gold stars, silver stars, green stars, blue stars, red stars. Now, red stars were not good stars. But at least you got a star. Well, when it came to writing, I could never get that little hook on that a. I just couldn't do it. I don't know why. I always got green stars: great effort, just not perfect. It confirmed my belief that I wasn't good enough because I couldn't do what somebody else could. What I know now is that comparing ourselves to others is an act of self-violence, as is living up to the expectation of others or not listening to your gut. These acts are about other people. These acts are all about external validation. Power is you. Power is standing up as your true self.

4. Power is a habit. Everything we do as human beings is a habit. I've heard that it only takes 40 repetitions to install a habit. Most of us have created a habit of being disempowered: We don't ask for this, don't do that, don't say this, don't say that. Instead, we must create a habit that reinforces our personal power. Part of this requires a daily spiritual practice. We nourish our bodies. We nourish our minds. Do we nourish our spirits? The way to remain connected to, conscious of and in alignment with our power is to remain connected to, conscious of and aligned with our source. That can be through mediation, journaling or stillness. We want to empty the mind as often as possible. We want to listen to that still, small voice that's within.

5. Power is most accessible in your worst times, not your best. When your plane crashes and you wake up in the middle of the desert with no food and no water, it doesn't matter how much money you have, how much education you have or how many friends you have. The great philosopher Whitney Houston, whom I love, sings a song: I didn't know my own strength. I crashed down, and I tumbled, but I did not crumble. I never knew my own strength. Very often, when the things that we lean on for strength—the marriage, the money, the image, the name—are gone, that's when we discover our power.

6. It's okay to forget your power. We're all going to have our moments when we get angry, upset, afraid—when we think we just can't do it. But how long do you stay there? How long do you allow the critical voice in your head to condemn you for your choices? How long will you stay in conflict and confusion, or are you able to focus your attention on something greater, grander, bigger, more loving, more powerful? It's about your recovery time. How long do you stay in your humanness before you slip back into your divinity? The ability to make that shift is the sign of being in touch with your power. 

* you can read more from Oprah at the link below! thanks Oprah!!

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Iyanla-Vanzant-What-You-Dont-Know-About-the-Power-Youve-Always-Had#ixzz1dW254t8U

checking back in

Hi blog family!

So glad to have our power back on in my town!! I know their are often times when we want to "black out" and forget about all the negative that has happenend as well as all the work we must continue daily JUST to survive!!!
I encourage you today to get your head back in the game! Life throws us ALL curves, its how u catch them that matter! Yes it would be nice to have the best mit for catching but sometimes you only have your bare hands, and while it will sting to catch a flying ball.....it can be done!

If you survived foster care half your battle is over, the other half is "plugging back in" to life...after being out of it so long!
How do you do this?
1. stay focused on YOUR goals and what it takes to achieve them; ie more schooling, contacts, $..
2. know YOUR moral code; what do YOU live by? does it include integrity and honor?
3. learn to enjoy silence! it will be your best friend AND help you follow your "instinct" in any situation! go to a quaker meeting house in your area at 11am...learn to sit in silence for 45 minutes, listening to what God or the Universe has to tell you...we are usually TOO busy talking and responding to hear anything!!
4. Love yourself enough to be proud you made it thru and while this won't be your last test...YOu know you are made to be a winner!!! don't let your experience in foster care harden you or make you angry, learn to help others in foster care. You have some gift waiting to be shared with others in care...start a journal, mentor to a foster kid, give them a job or internship, teach them how to make jewelry or write a book....SHARE what you know and how you make it thru!!!
Remember: we are all here to SAVE or CHANGE a life!!! smile, someone is watching you and you may help them have a great day just by smiling!!! xo Tanya

people, places and things

Hi blog family!
pls forgive error, I LOVE adoptuskids.org they are an outstanding organization that does great work to help foster kids get adopted!!! 

I will be short today.
 Have you experience people that ALWAYS have something negative to say? Are you a  person that ALWAYS complains....(think real hard)...
Perhaps you grew up in a place with a negative environment (people always thinking you never did "good" enough, perhaps they always downed you and told you negative things OR never told you anything YOU did good, right or better than usual...
Maybe you were around an abusive partner..(I know many who ran away from group homes, only to fall into "victim" mode by linking up with an abusive partner)..
If any of this applies to you, no worries... this is the good thing about waking up EVERY day- you can change your reality!! I can't imagine growing up in a negative place! How can we expect someone to be "positive" if this is not how they grew up? change your reality!

As of today; stop being around naysayers...people who always have bad things to say ALL the time!! People who only see the bad in a situation....never the good! People who always want you to  "hang out" in bad places! If you want your life to be productive, fruitful and filled with joy and love....first start with getting rid of negative people who say and or want you to do bad things and be in places that will cost you your freedom or put bad thoughts in your head... Life is short, why waste it on bad things OR anything that does NOT help you grow as a person?
Find people who may not give compliments all day BUT do point out your good traits or actions!
Find places to go that make your mind strong and your soul happy...(looking at art, a concert, a walk in nature, the ocean, good book, there are many good things to do in this life and many good people, find them!
If you come from an abusive relationships or past, you have to work harder because your mind was trained to think and do negative by your abuser or in that abusive environment.
 Even if you watched abuse, it plays a part in your life; some will NOT be like there abusers, others will gravitate toward partners/friends...just like their past...You can change that by practicing and committing to surrounding yourself with love and peaceful people...fall back on the yellers, liars, manipulators, stalkers, deceivers, abusers....

I always say: show me your "friends" and I will see you!"
 I have hung around all types of people, I never judge by your situation but by how you treat others...poor, rich, homeless, even if your doing a job I don't agree with- you must have a good trait somewhere for me to have you as my friend!
I learned when i was homeless, never judge a book by its cover but how it reads..... lol..
find good people who are positive and
 try not to surround yourself with anyone who talks negative all the time, it rubs off!

You are a gift to this world, you are loved and its your turn to enjoy life!! :)



smile, someone is watching you! lol..xo
Tanya
below is some of this text in french...there are orphanages in all countries (they are still called that many places, not group homes... sometimes if i see I have  readers who are from other countries, i will post in those languages...)
En French..................................................................................
Negative gens, les lieux et les choses Salut blog familial! 
Je serai bref aujourd'hui. Avez-vous l'expérience des gens qui ont toujours quelque chose de négatif à dire? Etes-vous une personne qui se plaint toujours ....( pense réel dur) ... Peut-être que vous avez grandi dans un endroit avec un environnement négatif (les gens pense toujours que vous n'avez jamais fait "bon" assez, peut-être ils toujours vous dit que vous abattus et les choses négatives ou jamais dit tout ce que vous avez de bonnes, à droite ou mieux que d'habitude ... Peut-être que vous étiez autour d'un partenaire violent .. (je connais beaucoup qui ont fui les foyers de groupe, que pour tomber dans la «victime» le mode en s'associant avec un partenaire violent) .. Si rien de tout cela s'applique à vous, pas de soucis .. . c'est la bonne chose à propos réveiller chaque jour, vous pouvez changer votre réalité! Je ne peux imaginer de grandir dans un endroit négatif! Comment pouvons-nous attendre que quelqu'un soit "positive" si ce n'est pas comment ils ont grandi? changer votre réalité En date d'aujourd'hui;!! cesser d'être autour d'opposants ... les gens qui ont toujours de mauvaises choses à dire tout le temps des gens qui ne voient que le mauvais dans une situation .... jamais le bon peuple qui en veulent toujours vous à «traîner» dans des endroits mal! Si vous voulez que votre vie soit productive, fructueux et remplis de joie et d'amour .... commencer d'abord par

wishing for a family years after care?

Hi blog family!

 La mia Famiglia!

my family! Meine famille! ma famille! mijn famille!mnha familia!MOR cembeR!

Since my brothers death, there are times I feel alone but thankfully, I have my girls and a host of good friends and neighbors!!!

As many of you who have been in the system know..sometimes, even when your older, you long to be adopted or belong to a family.
Money/inheritance has nothing to do with it many have said.
It is the fact that we are human and ALL human beings have a need to belong.
Unfortunately, when your parents give you away or leave you when your young, this sense never gets met. I believe there is no greater love than a mothers.... or someone like a mother...
If you are like me and had no "home" to go to for the holiday like the other kids did in the group home on the weekends, you may still feel lonely on holidays, birthdays or when you see a nice family enjoying each other.
NO WORRY"S!! Good news is.....this feeling can be lessened.
1st. NEVER be jealous of ANYONE for ANYTHING--especially when you see a great family!
 feel happy for them, and pray they appreciate each other!!
Jealousy is NEVER a good trait.
Why?
Because all you do is envy that person, place or thing and you do so much envying, you never get your own!! Now that you are leaving or have left, its all about YOUR life and what YOU need, if you worrying about what they have, you miss your blessings AND you don't focus on things like: how can I make a better family than my parents did? how can I raise my kids with more responsibility and action in there life that will leave a good legacy?? 
Remember if you are in foster care, God (or the universe (for those who are not religious, i must respect that).. You have another purpose, that is NOT the same as the kid with two parents!!!
Pay attention to why you are placed in THAT home, it may be the difference between you thinking it was "just a home" and you knowing why "that" home was chosen by the universe!!
perhaps  your group home counselor (like my last one when I got signed  back to a group home at 18), will change your views enough to change your life! Maybe your foster mother, (like mine) is a minister and you help type up sermons (OK... lol..this was before Mac's")..and now you become the best public speaker, from watching her!!
You never know but i can assure you just like you have divine purpose, so does your group home parent, foster parent or special counselors and social workers!!
If you grew up with no family, by now you should know:

You can choose good friends who love and cherish you...
how will u know?
 because they reciprocate (look that word up please)..they give back to you, just as much as you give!!! These friends are loyal, loving, and would NEVER do anything to harm you, your health or your sanity!!
These are the people you unofficially adopt as family!! I have many friends from other Country's that have no family here, I always have their backs because, I know how that feels!
I have a few friends that I can call on if I am hungry, angry, sad or need a hug, the same role family would play!!
It is wise to choose GOOD friends!
Don't ever be desperate to just "hang" with anyone...you are special and you should only surround yourself around special people!! 
To get out of "NOT" liking holidays and birthdays....throw a party!!!
Yes, with whatever, whoever you have...buy yourself something special on your day or the holiday....if you want your friends to do it that's OK but you should be the same friend that you want!!
Life is one big lesson, you made it out and those who are in, your are able to read this blog, so your good, you are learning how to be a better you! You should always be happy for others with family and you should be choosing good friends that can fill those roles for you in a healthy way....(not gangs) gangs is a false love that almost always ends with handicap, revenge, turf wars, jail or the morgue....Anyone who loves you, will not have you murder, steal or lie...that's real talk!
This is your life, make good rules for yourself and find the key people you need in your life to help you grow as a person....you are loved, special and smile, somebody is watching you- you may save or change a life!!! xo Tanya 

What is Your gift?

hi  blog family!
I was on fb today and got a quote from a great lady that happened to be my thoughts for today...life is wonderful when your doing what YOU love and what YOU were BORN to do!!!

 this quote is by: Stacey A. Maxwell-Krockenberger

What brings you pure joy? 


What do you look forward too? 


Your Purpose is usually hidden in your creative talents & doing


 the things that make you truly happy. 


For those who still may not know what that is; do something


 different today that you've always wanted to do or love to do. 


If it ignites all of your senses and brings laughter chances are 


your purpose could be within it! What are you effortlessly good


 at?


this is a great thought for today: find out what your God given


talents are, it should be effortless for you, while others have to


 practice for years...singing, dancing, writing, 


art...numbers...building....most celebs became just that 


because they followed their 1st love....Bill gates, Oprah, 


Forbes, Edris Elbis, Haley Barry...they are no "accidents" they


 worked hard and followed dreams...you can too!! 


life is more fun...when your doing what u love!!! You are 


special and divine,


xo


Tanya

Life after death?

Hi BLog family!

R.I.P LITTLE BROTHER!!


it has been a minute but i am back!! I had to reflect on my brother's death and figure out how to better myself and keep moving forward. It is a challenge when you have NO family!! Some of you are lucky to have a sister, brother, aunt, grandma/pa...someone I had only my baby brother who always looked out for me, now that he is gone I am dealing with people who LIKE me but they have conditions and terms....my brother..had none, just that I love him unconditionally and be successful for me!!
It has been a big challenge because I have based my life on one family member!! maybe that was not good but I rolled with the person who I knew had my back, good or bad and NEVER judged me!!

My challenge today is: how to pick up the pieces after losing a sibling? I fight harder for foster children now to stay togeather. Even if they are seperated, workers and counselors should arrange skype, IM, texting, fb on a daily basis... your siblings are all you have when your parents leave, if you are seperated and donot keep in touch, its like having no sibling at all....there is no Loyalty connection....it takes years to get that unlimited trust...not just because you have the same mom...
If you have a missing sibling, try to find them and if you can repair the damage seperation can do...if it does not work out...don't fight it...let it go and see them when you can, DONT be stressed by anyone, life is short and its not worth it. If you are fotunate enough to have a sibling like my brother Rob, who stayed with you in foster care and still is with you....LOVE them and cherish them, treat them with dignity and respect and loyalty, don't let anyone or anything come between you and the person that helped you thru your hardest moment...losing mom.... Love until the end and don't be sad if they died, be thankful of ALL the wonderful times you had and that you had unconditional love you DID NOT get from anywhere else...i am thankful for my 41 years with my brother, i would not trade it for the world-be thankful and enjoy your siblings if you have some!! xo Tanya

journals for healing

Hi blog family!

summer is in full effect! kids are off at camp, college is on breatk and you may be having too much time on your hands to have pity parties!! I would like for you to know that writing, heals all wounds!!! I started writing around 12 but realized the power of writing around 20.
When i am bored, angry, happy or just stuck, I write! Go out and get a journal today. if your money is low go to the dollar store and buy a 99cent composition notebook--it works just as well!!  If you are older teach your kids how to write as a release and to create... just have them write, every day...this way they can release any feelings..keep another journal for creative things, like writing comedy or screenplays, poetry... if you write in your regular journal EVERYday for a few minutes, you will enjoy writing for creative things like poetry, songs, plays... writing releases stress and clears your head of pass drama....write, write write....
to all my blog readers, especially my young teens...enjoy your summer, stay away from trouble and run to peace, joy and good postive people!! xo Tanya

our records?

I saw this on legallykidnapped.com VERY important, you can look back on your records to see how you have grown and what you need to work on OR how some of the information in your records no longer apply...especially when you were first taken from your home!. We should be careful what is written...it may harm children later...xo smile, someone is watching you! May 18th Mount Kisco Library!!

House: Foster Kids Must Get Records Faster

Responding to a Texas Tribune article about young adults who age out of foster care being denied their records, House lawmakers passed a bill today to require the prompt release of case files following a child's discharge from foster care.

Note: Yeah! Give the kids the evidence of your fraud> I mean: give the kids their records! My God! 

alot to be thankful for...even in recovery

Hi blog family!

Recovery from anything is a long, slow process and we should never rush" to get better, from surgery,
addiction,
injury's,
ending relationships (with friends, workers or mates)
or trauma, (to the mind or body)
- take your time healing,
 life-
 if you wake up-
will be here!

There are many things to be learned after a troubled or difficult child hood, (abandonment, abuse, neglect)- its all trauma but you made it to adulthood- cheers to you!
  TAKE YOUR TIME HEALING - if you go through your pain, realize your strength and weaknesses from it, and then process in a way that is managable for you- you are on your way to a full recovery from anything!
Please pray for our family's in Japan, there are many new "foster kids" due to this situation, if you do nothing today, be greatful for what you DO have, what you CAN do and that you ARE on the road, to RECOVERY- you don't have to rush, be willing, loving and take your time!!
smile someone is watching you! (your smile could make someone's day, your positive energy could give someone depressed..hope...try to smile everyday you wake for this reason!!!
xo Tanya
ps. my book: Suviving foster care and making it work for you is available at lulu.com please buy for yourself or a teen you know who is having a hard time, I assure you, it will change or save a life!!

praying for japan

hi blog family!

pray for Japan and all the other Countries/places that had catastrophic events. You must always meditate harder for others than yourself- it takes your mind off of your problems when you help others!!! Remember when it comes to catastrophy's, drugs and life--their is no discrimination so we must ALL come togeather for the sake of this earth.
Hold Japan in the light (pray) (meditate)- whatever your preference but think of those in need today, and worry about you another time.
Please pray for any kids left in the orphanages there, pray that those who make it are resilant, and hold on until rescue comes.

Man thinks he is smarter than God or the Universe- it can never be and we will see many more things happen that NO ONE has control over! The lesson will be for ALL of us to come togeather, or destroy one another!
Remember the earth will always be here, we are the ones that will vanish or change form if man does not stop thinking he is creator...We all have divine purpose, what is yours, what legacy do you want to leave if you died today?? think, meditate and take action-today!

if you have food, shelter & health - you should be praising the universe/God for letting you rise one more day without incident.
You can show you are grateful by helping others- that can be with a smile, deed, check or prayer! xo
Tanya

energy equals energy

Hi blog family!
Been very busy trying to get the book to the public!! I will try to make my blogs shorter for now, as time is very important! I hope you are all well and enjoying this life!

Message for the day:

As soon as you wake, you should do so with joy!

You are alive, YOU are with health!
You can create change-in an instant with your mind and attitude!!
Wake up with a smile on your face and joy in your heart- you should feel like you won $1 million dollars- everyday!!!

 Life is not promised to us forever-so enjoy it each and every minute/day!
Teach your children to wake early-with joy- not complaining about its too early--too early for what? for life?
to live?
 to explore all the earth has??
NEVER to early!
Smile when you go out your door (and when you in your house with kids)...your energy WILL effect how they act: if your angry, mad, yelling, upset, nervous, loud, mean, violent--how can they become anything but that!.. 

You are in total control of your life! (yes, even if your "broke"- ) that can pass-if you start planning how to get out of poverty, depression (you can NOT have alot of tangable money and REALLY enjoy life!) I am proof!!
 I make do with what I have!
You have to learn this, it is not taught in a foster or group home because everyone in charge is thinking since you have a roof" you ok....NOT
we have to learn how to enjoy life and ourselves-with or without family, money etc..

 Please wake up "feeling" great- how you feel will determine your day toward others...lastly..."smile, someone may be watching you", especially if you have kids! xo tanya
 example...:)

problems or challenges

hi blog family!

Real talk- being without family can be a challenge at times. 
Like when you need $50 for gracery's because you had to pay for your medicine..because your insurance did not cover it)..have you ever had that one emergency that could literally make you homeless, carless, foodless, bookless (for you college aged out folk)..or that one time you NEED money to fix a health problem: teeth, antidepressant...whatever...it is a need BUT you don't get help that day... It happens when your on your own.
But I can say this: "this too shall pass"...this is what my foster mother use to tell me when i thought things were bad....all things change..
remember that and know that to have your health, sanity and choice of freedom....freedom to start a business making earrings or scarves next week!
you have choice, health to start a business cleaning cars or detailing for cars, you have a choice to start your babysitting service for poor mothers in your area...Don't ever think that you cannot get through a tuff time, the key is to stick it out!! Bad can't stay that way forever, even bad gets tired....
I know you will have ruff days but we all do, without family you may have to stick it out al little longer, but remember this builds charector and you will be the type of person that has gradtitude when you do have...don't envy or be jelouse of others who have family that bail them out- be grateful that you have a chance to be bailed out by the universe- because all things in this life change and be grateful for what you have today...

you are loved, special and needed xo Tanya

politics-what can you do

Hi blog family! Below is a quote from my friend Joyce in Italy- 


"Living your life fanatically cannot possibly be healthy for one's mental state. Live people and stop going crazy over politics, politicians and what they are and are not doing. It is what it is...Either do something to change your political situation and "walk like an Egyptian" or deal with it. But beating a dead horse will not change your country's situation"-JY


Alot is going on in politics now that is effecting you and I getting jobs! But we can sit and sulk or rise and take action. I am anti-war and always believe peace, talking and compromise should be the best solution. Only animals "fight" that is why we can talk and they can't- 
I stop watching TV because every time i turn it on-something depressing (a word i do not like), something telling me what to do, who to vote for- make your own decisions, do your own research-if you are interested- if not don't complain about our system-especially if you did not vote or protest! It is what it is-like the lady said and it will never be anything more, until we rise like the youth of Egypt or go to school to become law changers, politicians, head of state etc...  I am proud of the youth of Eygpt- they show that unity does work! I have a friend who is now able to go back to his country because of the victory! always stand for what you believe in or you will fall for anything!!! Life is beautiful, the universe is full of possiblities- but they will not come to you and change will not happen by itself, it takes each of us DOING something!!! 
You are needed by the universe- get up, get out and do something today that will save or change a life- xo Tanya

I wish i could syndrome

hi blog family!!

its a new day!! what are you up to??
are you:
sitting around waiting for your dreams to happen? This can only happen if you know what it is and how to plan for it...then how to execute!

sitting around wishing you could look 50 lbs lighter...but not excersizing or changing your eating habits?

wishing you had a mate..but sitting on the couch, never going anywhere to be seen or meet new people?
wishing you were successful...but not doing anything that will manifest this success?

thinking of leaving that abusive partner, but never leave, even with support..because you don't think your worth it or no one will want you? this is a hard one because you do what you have to do to survive when you are in an abusive relationship-especially when there are kids BUT i say to you..if you can get to "my sisters place or any domestic violence shelter- go and start over..your life and your kids are worth it!! You may be able to turn this experience around by writing a journal/book and helping other woman..keep faith, and take action as soon as your spirit tells u to leave!

I had the "I wish I could" syndrome for years. It is going to keep you in the same place! You must realize your greatness and get up, get out and do something, as Macy gray use to sing! Nothing in this life is coming easy...even illnesses take some work like eating bad food, not seeing a doctor...etc... Nothing in this life good or bad, comes to you, you must go get the good you want in life!!!
If you want to change your negative kids thinking--think positive-live positive- talk positive--they will follow the leader- YOU!!
If you want a mate. get out to the museums, borders, gallery's... he/she cannot find you if you home!

if you want success. start planning what does that mean, what does it take for your goal, what do you need, who do you need for a mentor? how long..does not matter if you do not give up...

Stay focused and try new things this year, the universe is waiting for your success!! There is plenty for all of us, find out what gifts you have that will make you stand out...xo Tanya

salute to Dr. King

hi blog family!!

we salute Dr. king for all his hard work and giving his life so that we may have true freedom!!


Remembering Dr. King
 We must remember to honor our assisnated hero's with choice- choice to do right when wrong is easier
choice to love, when hatred is everywhere
choice to be educated and world traveled, not stiffled and stagnent in one place and frame of mind!
choice to not only say we are free at last, but to be thankful for those like Dr. King thankful enough to live every day with choice, honor, respect, love and wanting to help others...
Thanks Dr. King for showing  us freedom = choice these two things is what America is about! Without choice and freedom, life is very limited. Lets keep his dream alive by doing what we were called here to do and  with each of doing this -  we can be a great nation.
by:

Tanya C

remember you are needed by this universe and God has plans for all of us, if we listen and act..xo

looking for a sibiling?

hi blog family!

As you all know I have been searching for my baby brother Mark for years.
He was adotpted to a family of doctors in Elmsford, NY when he was around 3 years old.

 I know he had a sister and his new parents were african american and they were doctors..atleast one parent was...
I share this with you because if you are seperated from your siblings you should never give up trying to find them.
 1. they could live local (my brother was less than 15 miles away
2. you may end up marrying your sibling if you don't know them!!
3. they could save your life one day if you need blood or bone marrow...i'm just saying...

I can never date a guy named mark that is light skinned, red afro or freckles...because that may be my baby brother!!
 It is sad that I have to guess if that is my brother in a club or have to tell my kid "that could be your uncle"...
I think with age progression he would look like chris brown or micheal ealy...
but I have not seen him since he was 3...
now I look exactly the same as I did at 3 (from pics I saw previously)... so does my other siblings...one in which has died)...so I suspect he will look the same...
 but for now I must guess until I have the luxery of hiring a private detective...

I use to go to the house in Elmsford, NY for weekly visits and I know it is 5 minutes from paul bunion statue at the gas station.... but my memory fails to find the little white house with the porch....

perhaps it is not time to find him yet, but I will never give up and neither should you. We should not have to stop loving a sibling because they are adopted, we should be given a choice by the adopted parent to keep in touch or get updates every year...why not?
 I am sure he wants to know what we look like.
I am grateful if he is with a loving family...and I remember them as such...but it would have been nice, if someone, even the agency would have updated us on his life..even if we could not see him...
If you adopt please keep this in mind: we never stop loving our sibilings...even if they are taken away for a good reason..

thanks for loving our siblings xo
Tanya

what am i grateful for?

Hi blog family!

glad you are amongst the living!! Remember every waking day is a day to reflect and move forward with positive change!
Today's question: What are you grateful for today??
Don't tell me you have nothing--even if your in a shelter, broke, have one leg, I can find SOMETHING to be grateful for!!
Try...YOUR LIFE!! Some did not wake today-you did, so that is one thing. What about your health, can you walk, talk and read? That is alot. The universe is plentiful and it will always give you what you deserve--IF you put effort and thought into what you want! Good things will not happen by accident, it will be because of willpower, preserverance and endurance, all of which you have, since you surivived foster care!
I pray that you will understand your role on this earth for the new year, study your gifts and talents and see how they made you who you are AND see how you can use them this year to not only bring you more financial success but to help others in foster care...If we all reach back for the 500,000 in care, there  won't be anyone left one day... keep moving forward for the new year, don't dwell on past mistakes or negative people, places or things! You have divine purpose and know that the universe is waiting for you to make your mark!! Pratice being grateful for what you have and "feeling" good for it and you will gain more! xo Tanya

never give up--keep on moving...

Golden-Voiced Homeless Man Captivates Internet

Posted Tue Jan 4, 2011 12:17pm PST by Daniel Kreps in Amplifier

 

This clip speaks for itself -- literally. The Columbus Dispatch discovered a homeless man along Ohio's I-71 claiming to have "the God-given gift of voice," and what began as your everyday viral video has exploded into a life-changing experience for one man. Yesterday morning he was a panhandler; today he's the most in-demand voice personality in the world, thanks to offers from countless radio stations, voiceover gigs and even the Cleveland Cavaliers.

 

His name is Ted Williams, and he's an ex-radio announcer according to the note he scrawled on a piece of cardboard that he used to solicit change from drivers. And wow, does Williams ever deliver for a dollar. Williams tells the Dispatch about his struggles, but thankfully "alcohol and drugs and a few other things" haven't diminished Williams' velvety vocal cords, and he says he's two years clean now.

 

"I have a god given gift of voice. I'm an ex-radio announcer who has fallen on hard times. Please! Any help will be greatfully appreciated. Thank you and God bless. Happy holidays," reads Williams' roadside sign for help.

[Video: Homeless man hailed as hero for good deed]

Like Williams, the radio industry has fallen on hard times in the past decade, but given the viral power of this video, Williams was quickly approached by more than a few morning show appearances. In fact,Reddit reported that Ted was tracked down by Columbus area radio show the Morning Zoo and appeared on this morning's program, and even found time for an interview with CBS' "The Early Show":

[Rewind: Sixth grader lands spotlight after Lady Gaga-inspired school recital]

As evidenced by Williams' new haircut, what a difference a day makes. A mere 24 hours after the video went viral, Williams says he's already been offered a bunch of employment opportunities, including one that's a Ohio citizen's dream job. "The Cleveland Cavaliers just offered me a full-time job and a house," Williams revealed. The Cavs will reportedly have to compete against MTV, the NFL and likely countless more suitors for Williams' services.

While Williams' sudden and lucky twist of fate could bring any man to tears, he gets most choked up when discussing how an invitation to do the gamut of TV shows in New York has opened the door for him to visit his 92-year-old mother in Brooklyn for the first time in years. "One of my biggest prayers that I sent out was that she would live long enough to see me rebound," Williams said. "There's so many words. I've already been compared to Susan Boyle... I'm just so happy."

keep being inspired and never give up..this is a good example why!! xo Tanya

The search is on for foster families

Really, a search?
 Why do we try to save money and end up spending more later?
There use to be a time when it was more lucrative for foster kids to be in group homes (remember when all the dark skin kids stayed because no one would pick us--we thought it was our age...and now we know it was our color.and money to keep us longer..(not many will admit this read "WILDER"case.  but it was the agency's then only placed you according to religion..if you were catholic, prodestent or jewish-you was placed with better agency's....(or so we thought until you read some foster care books written by all races...so much for the "take care of your own theory...
It is a differenct system now but it is still running on old beliefs and values" let's get the kids out of their "unsafe" enviornement and put them in a camp like enviornment, (hello..what "camp" has ever worked for healing souls...only summer camp and that was refuge from all your brothers and sisters....) meeting all of their needs... if the city paid more and did better screenings, ( I hear alot of people who have foster kids--that are criminals and abusive .
they would find alot of homes BUT just because you take a kid does not mean your a good parent...even if you have one....what will be the determining factor is how much resources will you put into this child having a future so bright, they cannot find room for the  word failure in their vocabualry? No one is thinking...I have many solutions...but they are busy asking people who were never in foster care, did not know they was in foster care--until after the fact, or people that never heard of foster care and want to "do a good deed"! WRONG! when you want real solutions on how to fix foster care they should come to us--we lived it, especially those who grew up in care 5-21 and different enviornments, foster and group homes... 
I am not babbling, I am saying if we want our kids to age out successfully we must invest in them mentally, and physically and financiallly..by making sure WHEREVER they are placed, there is love, caring people, contacts, therapy with a modern approach, and understanding that it takes work to heal from abandonment. not money... or just any foster family....
You are blessed and a blessing Tanya