thinking of adopting

Hi blog family:
Be patient I may address child, foster parent or adoptive on the same page...working on fosterparentsonly.blogspot.com for any issues with adoptive or foster kids.
for those that was in care and may have been adopted please take the time to write back and let us know your experience.
For those who were only in group homes and now adults: 
It is fustrating to see others get adopted and your left in the group home or they went to a foster home and you got left. It can be better to be in a home BUT if you are not with a good family--your better off in a group home setting. The trick of survival: utilizing all your resources! Councelors, programs, therapist...education...I know plenty of adults who came out better than those in foster homes--why? Because they took advantage of what they had and got their education ALONG with discovering what they needed to work on to heal...
You can tell if you are healing by how much anger you harbor. Ask yourself are you often angry or tense, screaming, mad, upset easy, worry all the time? If yes to any of these (and it is "normal" to feel all of these as an adult who was in care)..find a good therapist or start/find a support group in your area for adults just like you. It is important to get if off your chest, so that you can move on the greatness!!! xo


NOTES FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS:


 http://www.americanadoptions.com/adoption/link_resource

I know most people think that when they adopt a child that life will be bliss. If you get an older child that has been traumatized in any way---including abandonment--they will need to resolve those issues BEFORE adulthood.  My suggestion is to view my site, read my book and check all resources on adoption. Find the best therapist available to children and start processing and allowing the child to understand what has happend to them and how you are going to help change their life. Don't try to "hide" the adoption, lie or coverup because while it may be great that a parent gave them away--it is a hard fact to know that your parents gave you up--even if it was for the better. You must allow them the space and time to know this, work through it and appreciate it--then they can understand your role and love you and "need" you. I enclosed a link you may find helpful for resources.