Happy Holidays blog family!!!

As they approach and in wake of the Sandy Hook school victims, please be mindful - we all need LOVE...not teasing or being left out! If you see someone being bullied tell a teacher if you cant stop it, tell the parent, or just pull the kid to the side when you get a chance and are alone, and let them know its OK and they could get help if needed. 

I know, no one wakes up saying "i will be a killer or violent"...it is hatred manifested for years and NO intervention from parents, neighbors, teachers or friends...You can help prevent future events and suicides by being mindful of ALL people you come in contact with: 
this is why my motto is: 
"SMILE, be kind, you may save or change a life one day"! You have a great light within, let all see it...be kind to people at ALL times, evil can never win that way!! 

For the holidays: be with your family, if u have none or minimal like me, be with your friends - this is why I say choose good friends who LOVE you and don't want you in trouble, debt, on drugs, hurting yourself or others  or jail!!! 
LOVE LOVE LOVE...let your inner light shine not only for the holiday - everyday!! YOU are a LIFESAVER and LIFE CHANGER - Go out into this world and spread love for the holidays.....and if you have NO family and NO friends....sign up at a local shelter ...help feed the homeless!! giving is the best gift you can give!! xoxox

T

Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

my daughter...Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

Hi Blog family!!

Happy Turkey Day!! I hope You will NOT be alone and find a friend's to go to!! In my foster family there was always at least 12 people in our house for turkey day!! I am so excited to be visiting my friend and her husbands and their lovely kids!! 

It was hard when I aged out and did not have a family to go back to, (i actually had the option but read my book "surviving foster care & making it work for you Amazon.com to see why i never went back home after therapy).

Holidays after I aged out were sometimes with my brother that passed, my girls...and food... there were times when I did not celebrate but now I know I make my own holiday cheer!!!

I am excited for tomorrow because this will bring back the good memories in my foster home, when you had to find a spot to eat... when you had to finish getting dressed for school first to play a game of checker with mom before school! When you could choose which sibling you wanted to play with...war, army, barbies...(not...i had to ask my neighbor who was a girl!!)...a house with lots of kids has its advantage.....always someone there!! 

Please enjoy your holiday and those who have family open your home to a friend that does not have anyone, this is a very lonely time for most.
Suicide rates are very high, drug use and many people without family, hope or love may look for an escape - let them escape to your home filled with love, warmth and lots of Merry!!!

After the Sandy incident....we should be grateful for everything we have and if you don't you should be figuring out how to get what you need or want to be happy and productive! You only have one life- enjoy, share, love, live and pass it on...xoxox

Tanya

Hi blog family!

holidays are approaching...BEWARE...send love to others, open your home for the holidays to friends you know WHO DO NOT HAVE FAMILY!
Holidays are a high suicide time rate...especially those without family or lonely....try to extend yourself IF you trust the person in your home!!
Put a little love in your heart..."Al Green and Annie Lenox
think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand, put a little love in your heart and the world will be a better place, for you, and me, just wait and see!! YouTube this song!!

Today, be kind to all you meet AND if someone is mean, aloof or a jerk......SMILE..GOD LOVES THEM TOO!!! lol
xo
Tanya

Hi blog family!

Thanksgiving is approaching! Share your home for the holiday" if you can with another former foster child or a kid from the group home (that you know) that has NO family to go to on the holiday! I am trying to enact a place every year for kids in my area to go.

Remember Holidays are a high time for suicide! No one wants to be alone or be reminded that they have no family. I struggle with this daily. It has been hard because before I was sexually abused by my two foster brothers, (one deceased and one out of jail after serving 7 years for molesting a student and his niece..) We use to have great dinners together as family, holidays were fun BUT I was robbed of that and can never go and have dinner or be "social" with the one that is alive....because I value my sanity too much! I know I am not the only one who has an awkward situation, and I won't be the last!

I want you to find positive friends, and if they cherish you, they will invite you to their home in times like these. There are people who never went to foster care and was abused by family, and cannot go home for the holidays (in order to keep their sanity)...that is ok..If you are a true friend you will never judge them or try to get them to "get over it"...or go back and "hangout" with their abusers..No one should ever be violated or forced to hang out with a person that destroyed their childhood innocence!!
This is VERY important for my readers to know when it comes to why people you think" have family are not going home, (besides the basic 20 somethings who are too busy enjoying life to go home) :) there are those who left their family for a reason! Don't meddle in their business, unless they tell you, just understand and provide an alternative for the holidays!!
God made us all to love each other when we are down, who will you help for the holiday?? Bring food to the pantry, open your home to someone who has no family (if you trust them in your home):) (i am NOT saying invite someone displaying multiple personality's in your home or Charles Manson!!!)lol..
I am saying if you have a friend that never goes anywhere for the holiday....and he/she is NOT the Grinch...invite them to share and see how a family loves, respects and eat together on the holidays!!xo

have a great day - know that you are loved, special and needed in this world!!!

Tanya

Hi blog family!

I know - its been a while but u can catch me at fosterkidsunite blog!!

So The Penn State Coach has finally gotten what he deserved for hurting children- LIFE!! He has so many counts, he won't be able to count his way out of jail!!

I am praying for all the victims!!

I am covering this story to tell you one thing:

When someone is hurting you - TELL, TELL TELL!!!

Never keep a secret with ANYONE who is touching you in the wrong place, starring at you in a bad way or making you do things YOU know are not right... Abusers always say the will kill you' or kill your family....so far NONE of them have told the truth!!

They will do anything to keep you trusting them and doing what they want!!!

If you know someone who is hurting you in any way- tell someone like a teacher, counselor or police..they are mandated reporters and have to tell the proper authority's!!

I am the victim of a child abusers, they never got caught for my abuse but one did serve 7 years for molesting his 4 year old niece in law- who told when she was 11!!

 I am proud of her for telling, even though no one believed her until the police did, they even got a confession!! Now thanks to her many kids will not meet the fate of this awful monster!!

 The other abuser was killed violently...:)..sorry but he basically ruined my trust  life..and I was lucky to get an apology...(rare for victims)...I can forgive BUT never forget...one was a sexual predator on weaker younger kids, the other used me as a sex slave for years..and was an alcoholic!!

You must always tell so others won't get hurt and if they do...you did your part!

Never feel shame, it is not your fault

Never feel guilty, you did NOTHING wrong!!

Never keep a secret, secrets turn into addiction, homicide, suicide and self hurt...

YOU deserve to live a healthy loving, pain free life!!!  You are loved, special and needed!!!

xo

Tanya

from victim to victor!

Hi Blog family!!
Honoring a great Woman today!! I woke up saying what is on my heart and being thankful for great leaders!! (the ones I chose to model after)...

Inspiration Role model of the day:
Salute to Dr. Betty Shabazz;
Educator
 mother of 6
 Professor and wife of the Late Great Malcom X.
She was a woman of honor, charector and NEVER gave up - even when her husband was assasinated - leaving her to raise 6 girls alone in grief from her loss but no time to pity, only time to raise her girls and get her degree!! AMAZING strength!!

If you feel down for any reason, perhaps you have kids, your financially challenge..(we don't say broke')lol..
Maybe you are not doing what you love or what you are good at -
NO WORRIES!!
 think of Dr. Shabazz when you need inspiration and their is NO WAY you could continue your pity party!!
Wake up - and find a solution!!
Life is calling!
 If this wonderful leader, educator, mother could raise kids and educate others during hard times and death, why would you have an excuse!!
Lets focus on NOT making excuses but on raising ourselves to our highest human potential!!

Anthony Robbins says: "Success is doing what you love, when you love, with who you love" - reaching financial independence is the only way to enjoy your life!!! ANYONE can do it with an idea, dream, follow-thru and determination!!! below is something I wrote just for you, it was on my heart, so I share!

What are you doing with YOUR TODAY?
Are you owning it?
Honoring it as the only TODAY??
Are you doing all YOU can do to be the best you?
Thinking every waking moment of how to be better do better ...LIVE BETTER!
Never accepting what others "handed" you..from your parents down to experiences...
YOU can do better, live better and be better....TODAY!!

What are you doing for YOUR TODAY???

Know that YOU are the King/Queen of the universe and the world won't ever stop BUT it moves funny without your input!!!
BTW: go watch Beast of the Southern Wild...it will change your life and you see it and it does not... ...ask yourself if you really have a life of quality and how to get one!!
...lol..  Seriously.... Best movie EVER!!
Great Movie!!!

xo Tanya 

AT THE INTERSECTION OF LIFE????

We all come to the middle of the road at some point in life. Is it time to re-evaluate what you ARE and ARE NOT doing in your life?
Does it seem life is "unfair",
are your relationships dull?
Do you have friends that do no encourage or inspire you?
Are you jobless?
 Do you hate your job?
Are you lonely without any family?
Are you doing what you were born to do or have you not discovered what your gift is yet?

Life becomes complicated when WE add more than needed!
STOP whatever is annoying or hindering you!
HOW?
Wake up each day and be thankful for that day, that moment!!
DO some form of exercise....the body needs discipline and to be moving"...
Eat healthy...veggies...:)
Write down your goal for the day!!! To be happy ALL day, to make a painting, do homework, clean a room, find new friends by joining a gym, play a sport,..whatever, just write it down!!
Write down your 5 year goal...this will help you get out of a rut and see action once its on paper!!
Life throws us ALL curve balls....its how you catch them and return the ball that counts!!!
There is NO reason you cannot be the greatest at anything you WANT to do!!
You are a divine person, created to do wonderful things....
EVERYDAY you wake, you should be trying to do better, be better and LIVE better!!!
Go for the $...in a good way..you cant really live "BROKe''' I tried it, its not effective and you can't get to your level of comfort...without being financially stable!! (I tried.....fail....)
What is your talent, skill, special gift?? find a way to make it a business" that will earn you money!!!

have a great day xo

Tanya
my question to you is??
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Hi blog family!

It has been a while, life is happening...fast!! But I am eager to start every day new with a clear vision on the final goal!!

I was mentoring to a young lady last week that ran away from her kindred" foster home. I talked to her and told her why she needed to write out her goals, let the family know, as they were worried about her and WAS NOT going to just let her have her way!!
Sometimes we want to be grown at 18....and...were not!! I had to check myself back into foster care and if it was not for a modeling contract....I don't know if I would have been OK financially!!
Learn when YOU are NOT OK!! Learn how to coach yourself into SAFE situations!! This young lady had a "friend" that was going to "help her make $$$$....."URBAN Modeling"...GUYS and GIRLS I use to model for a few agency's...and a major one briefly....URBAN modeling as she called it is Bra's and Panties....A NO NO!!! This is not real modeling for a designer" this is for some sicko who is going to take advantage of you and have you doing drugs then working the streets!! DON'T EVER SELL YOURSELF FOR ANY MONEY!! NO MONEY CAN BRING BACK YOUR INNOCENCE AND LOVE OF LIFE!!! Learn to write out your goals and even if you crawl...one day at a time.....you can achieve ANYTHING!!
Remember you are from GOD and all things from his are perfect as they are YOU are it!! Go out and live life, enjoy, love and be loved!! xo

Tanya

Hi blog family!
REMEMBER THE BOOK IS ONLY $5!!! EVEN WITH SHIPPING LESS THAN YOU PAY FOR MOST BOOKS!! SAVE OR CHANGE A LIFE BY GIVING THIS BOOK TO A FOSTER KID, FOSTER PARENT, SOCIAL WORKER, ANYONE WHO HAS NO FAMILY OR HAS NOT HAD A GOOD PARENT!! I PROMISE YOU WILL LEARN SOMETHING!!:)


It has been a trying month, but as usual...the show must always go on!!
Nothing and no one stops because you have an issue or challenge...(you still need to eat, your job still wants u at work...the kids still hungry...the office is still open...lol...and neither should you!!

We have all had those days when we want to give up or we think no one cares or understands...this is the time, (according to Robert H. Schuller.."Tough times never last, but tough people do!"), to have the most faith!! We all know after the storm comes calm....when it rains in your life with issues or challenges....the sun HAS to shine...(unless we really mess up the ozone):)..lol..

NOTHING is that serious, accept YOU enjoying this life and going after ALL of your dreams and achieving financial success!!!

this is what GOD would want...as all the books I have read about God, he makes no mistakes and wants only the BEST for US...not JUST the 1%!!!! The other 99% don't get it because they accept what little is given OR they work for little goals!!! NO man or woman can stop you from greatness!! Only you can lower your standard and...attract lower standard things in your life!! Look at the DVD "the secret" based on the book i tell you about below...but we did not need  this man to "tell" us this..if you know the bible (i am not "religious) but i know some things as common sense and that someone greater than "me" made me and protects me".. just remember NO good father would want his child to "settle"!!!!! NONE in the UNIVERSE!!!!

How you view money and being "rich" (not to be greedy or save the world" but so that you can live comfortable AND help save or change a life...without it causing stress on your life!!) Read the title book below!!!!!! I wish I read this at 10 yrs old or 15....

During foster care you are never really taught money until you are older, "rich" kids learn the value of an idea and how that idea can translate to cash..early...
Foster kids, especially in group homes should be required to read Wallace Wattles: The Science of Getting rich- this book will change your life and how you view money.
It is free to download and read online and free at any library...get it!!

TANYA'S LATEST good BABBLE.......:)

KNOWLEDGE IS FREE
AND WITH KNOWLEDGE
AND THE RIGHT IDEA OR INVENTION...
YOU COULD BE RICH"...
THE MAN WITH THE IDEA WHO LEARNS TO ACT ON IT....GETS PAID!!

WHAT IS YOUR TALENT OR IDEA THAT CAN BRING YOU MONEY AND SUCCESS???? GET ON IT!!
LET NO ONE PUT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS IN YOUR LOVELY HEAD!!

YOU ARE GOD'S CHILD--YOU ARE PERFECT, SMART AND THE BEST THING ON THIS EARTH...

.LEARN TO GET YOUR HONEST SHARE...and want MORE.......never settling"...

 WITHOUT HURTING
OR TAKING FROM OTHERS!!

THERE IS ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US...NO ONE IS EVER YOUR COMPETITION -CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE AND YOU CAN'T DO WHAT THEY DO!!!!

LOVE ALL AND ROUTE FOR ALL-cause we are one, sent here to experience life, love and learn.!! XO TANYA

Scholarship launched for young adults in foster care

Scholarship launched for young adults in foster care the deadline for 2013 will be April 1,2013, we encourage those without family after foster care to apply and those aging out!

Hi blog family!
advice today:

"Only YOU can let yourself down!" We often forget people are human and our mates, kids, friends and workers will only act in a way that we allow. So if your being abused, neglected or forgotten, ask yourself, what am I doing to correct this? Hold people accountable for their actions...good and bad..and always hold YOURSELF responsible for ALL good things in your life!
Have a great day and smile, someone is watching you!
Tanya

being your own inspiration in hard times

hi blog family!
 As I sit here in one of my brother's favorite parks, I think hard as his 44th birthday is July 22nd and he died June 10th...He was my only true inspiration in hard times, the one person I knew that would not judge me and always my advocate..
I often ask myself, How can I be better and grow with no family? how can I inspire others, ? Where do I find a place to recharge? I thank God i have found with age, acceptance, that it is what it is!! and I am not mad! lol... the next life I will pick a different set of parents!!!!

I have to always start with me, so this is for all of us who live this life with NO family - very hard usually family picks you up, bails you out, encourages, love you...when you have none, you have to learn how to do it yourself AND enjoy it and know its all ok..this is OUR life to learn from..
We were born alone, and we will die alone but while were here, find ways and new friends to inspire yourself daily!!

I hope your all enjoying summer. Between hot weather and job hunting for work in television, it has been interesting!
For those who have been out of work, ( i.e. job with benefits and ONE job..lol), Please keep faith!
Times are great for some and challenging for others right now. The rich continue to get rich and the poor or middle, continue to get cut.....BUT that does NOT exclude you from the pie!! You have every right to find a way to make as much money as you wish!
I challenge myself daily to step up my game, NOT to keep up with the Jone's....(cause no one can anymore..lol) but to be the BEST me, and that means making enough money to be healthy, happy and sustaining!
This has been a challenge I faced since motherhood, especially single motherhood!!
This is why I travel around telling youth NOT to get pregnant before you complete your financial and spiritual goals, especially by someone who will not be there 150%!!! When you do, you have two lives to work on and yours becomes back burner!!
So how do you inspire yourself when times are hard? Money low? No money? No quality life?
YOU GET UP, GET OUT, and DO SOMETHING!!!! (Macy gray)...lol...
1. MENTAL ACTION!! think of what YOU are good at! What do YOU want out of this life? WHO can stop you or help?
 is key to success!
2. WRITE DOWN your goals
 for the day, week, month or year!! when you write it becomes reality quicker and you hold yourself liable to the pen and paper!!! write what prevents you from doing it, why? what do you NEED to start?
3. TAKE ACTION
Starting now! Go get the beads to start your jewelry line! Go get a pad to start writing your book! Go sing your first song and record it on tape or your phone!!!
4. MAKE NO EXCUSES!! Life is short and has many people, places and things available to you IF you ask and receive help!! Nothing will COME to YOU - you must GO GET IT!!!
Always use, integrity, honor , respect and be considerate of other humans....what goes around comes around....just live long enough to see it!!!
GO SEE THE WORLD, MAKE MONEY, MAKE NEW FRIENDS, LIVE the life GOD wanted you to live--THE BEST!!!!xo
Tanya

enjoying life on life terms

Hi blog family!


don't forget my book price has been lowered because shipping is expensive and i would give it for free if i could find a way!! www.createspace.com/3587372 for your copy!

How do we enjoy life on life terms after abandonment, abuse, neglect and for some, no family?

Like NIKE says: JUST DO IT!!
There is nothing stopping you from enjoying the VERY moment you are in!

 You decide if you will be angry, mad, violent, sad, depressed, lonely or not active in your own life!!
When you wake each day thank the creator for your life, for it is special and meant for divine purpose!
If a family member, friend, spouse, mate or worker is treating you wrong OR your clashing every time you talk or meet---ITS ONLY MIS-COMMNICAT-ION!!! = THEY ARE NOT HEARING WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING OR UNDERSTANDING THE MESSAGE THEY WANT TO GIVE!!
No matter if mean mother-in-law
child that won't listen
spouse that hurts you (although they have other issues...control, learned behavior or reaction from an action they saw as a child)
Find ways to accept your family member for what and who they are (even the bad, (unless they are hurting others physically)
find ways to deal with your boss who is a control freak, accept WHATEVER others  flaws may be, because if you dig deep, we all have some.

*** It is NOT our job to CHANGE anyone, each lesson in life is different for ALL of us!!! No one can learn MY lesson and I CANNOT, repeat, CANNOT learn another's lesson!!!!!!

If you remember this fact, life will be way easier and less chasing, arguing, proving, groaning, and analyzing wrong doers!!!
Live on life terms (as they say in the rooms)lol.. meet ALL people, places & things.....WHERE THEY ARE AT!! ENJOY TODAY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW, LOVE YOUR LOUD FRIEND AND SUGGEST THEY JOIN THE THEATER...LOL... JK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....:) ENJOY LIFE, YOU ONLY GET ONE!! PLAN WELL FOR YOU, NOT OTHERS AND LIFE WILL BE A JOY!! XOXO

PS. SMILE SOMEONE IS WATCHING YOU!!!! (AND LEARNING)..:)
TANYA

what would the world be like without you?

Hi blog family!
What would the world be like without YOU?? I imagine it would be......
dull
lifeless
unadventerous,
no fun,
no funny
no smile,
no cry
no me
no you
because.....NO ONE
was here like you to help me move forward everyday!!
Make no mistake!! God intended for you to be here!! Even if life is chaotic....YOU are ALIVE!!! that means you still have divine purpose!! GO out and....
help someone
save a life
change a life
be different
be daring
be loving
forgiving
kinder
smarter
wiser before you take action or "react" to situations.....
help someone, save or change alife...TODAY!!! YOU are the best thing EVER invented by GOD!!! know this like your ABC's....xo
Tanya
You are loved and special...save someone today from hurt pain and suffering...you cant walk the mile with them but you can give them a pair of nike's or ....rub their feet at the end of the journey....lol

This is the Day!

Hi blog family!

It has been a while but life, is always happening, even when were busy! lol

Have you ever had a great idea but did not act on it?

Ask yourself why?
Did you need a contact name, money, materials?
 Why did you not act on it when the idea was fresh?
Often we can sabotage ourselves by NOT acting on an idea!

We are all creative and have the ability to create a million dollar idea....but not many of us act on it. When I say us, yes, those who grew up in any home and were NOT encourage to follow through on an idea.
I say we all have a 6th sense" when you know something is right or wrong...

many of us are taught to suppress this feeling very young and when we get older....the concept...."no faith" in our ideas has taken place....it has become embedded, thanks to family, no family, negative people, places and things...everything teaches you NOT to follow your instinct...especially if you were in a group home, (not knowing you likely have a better "instinct" than anyone)...because you had to use it to stay away from bad people!!....

Not many kids in group home settings are encouraged to try new things and not be afraid to be different...example:" if i said in a group home: "I'm gonna be a superstar in TV one day" ....most kids and other would laugh or say "Yea right"!!

But Eddie Murphy, Mariah Carey, Pit Bull, Kerry Washington, DMX, Oprah....(OK Oprah was not a Foster kid but she had some comparisons....)
think of this:
MANY survivors of Holocaust/Slavery/famine/AIDS epidemic etc... were orphaned and many in parts of Africa...8 million are today!!!

 It was DMC from Run DMC that said at an event we spoke at years ago...."Jesus" was an orphan!!!

 Its not what you are or where your at!!....its where are you going and what are you doing to get there!!
Everyone has divine purpose, yours may not be the same as mine! That is why you must follow through with YOUR talent, gifts and ideas!!!!
You may save or change a life one day!" (that is my quote from my   brother Rob that passed.....)

the names above were said to have been in foster care at some point in their lives....they all  knew they would make it one day...because they followed an inner voice...instinct"!!! They are not perfect" but they have all contributed to the world through film, singing acting and activism- you can't beat that for a foster kid!!!
WE ALL HAVE IT!!!! God made us ALL special, some just choose to Not be anything GREAT- we choose mediocre....or "OK"...You chose that, you were not born 'OK" you were born to be great! Something happened along the way to divert you - its OK...get back on your path of greatness!!!! TODAY!!!

We may "think" of a great idea....but it will be just a thought......
You cannot get to your dream without taking chances!! Think of a million dollar idea, Paint the next Picasso, invent a new product, write the next manuscript...
Get Out meet people in the field you WANT to be in!!
Join groups on Linkdin/FB/YOUTUBE and other sites that give you advice on the talent, skill or idea you are trying to develop!
Remember failure is not an option!!
When you don't act on something......nothing will come of that great idea!
Paint that picture you always dreamed of..
write that script you have in your head for a blockbuster movie!
Meet new friends that share your interest, take a class at the local college if you need to...
invent something new you think the world needs.

Don't let not having materials, money or even connections stop you! There is always some action you could take: write it down, find a mentor, use alternative to make a prototype, (until you get what you need)
Whatever you have been dreaming to do, to make to be.....start today, this is the day created just for you!!
Smile, someone is watching you....:)

Tanya

Gettting finances in order

Hi blog family!

It has been a while - but I'm always "here"...even when I don't post, I am checking in to see if anyone ask questions....the event was a success, our lovely Mayor gave us another proclamation!! What a surprise! I saw people that were touched by our speaker, Pat from Family Ties!! A few left wanting to foster older kids!!! What more could you ask for! Our 4 winners, know that our community has their backs and we support their hard work!! Special thanks to Ramuso who let us know why scholarships, no matter how small, helps!! Thanks to our kind donors who helped all 4 kids..ALL MONEY WENT TO KIDS...fliers, food, copies, FREE! God always sends us angels when we need them and we are working on 501c3 but the faithful still helped us. We proved you can help others....with your talent and without a dime!! Big thanks to ALL my brother Robert's friends...it would not be possible without you and Megan for starting the ball rolling...."We do what we can, when we can, with the gifts God gave us-teaching other foster kids to reach, teach and pay it forward!!"- Tanya/Megan/Rob

I was talking to my friend, who was also a foster child all his life, and he said something important: "I hope to get my finances in order, so that I can live without stressing money".  I also talked to another friend and then thought about my own situations: when I've had money , (as a model years ago), and when I did not an now....
It is tough to be laid off from full-time perm work with benefits...I fell victim but I survive, my foster mom use to say it is better to have $5 than not have any $!! And she is right! You can build off of SOMETHING....you cannot plan or make moves with 0....
My advice:
1. find any job or jobs that will pay you atleast minimum wage..(if you could waitress, its better, cash tipes will allow you to pay off debtors, student loans etc...)
2. If you can, work odd jobs, making jewelry, art/...selling at fairs/events
3. It is better to write down your plan of financial success, don't leave it to memory....:( mines is bad!!)lol
4. Stay confident that you will find a job! Dont give in or up!!
5. If you have NO skills....look for scholorships to take one class (filmaking, jewelry, writing)..whatever field you WANT to be in...NY film school, Jacob Burns Film Center, Communiity college, library, and job force in your area, sometimes you don't need a degree but knowledge of a skill...example...editing final cut pro...you don't need a degree, in fact most of you that love computers...could  take this one time class and become great editors of video's or movies!!!! Yes, its that easy...
6. ALWAYS ask about a scholorship...if you make less than $25,000 single or $30,000 with a kid...you usually qualify!! Yes, its a pain to get "references" but hey, you said YOU WANT to the universe??? then do your part!!
Nothing in this life comes easy BUT i promise you its a great world with lots to see and people to meet that can bring you to your next level of greatness!! God is good and working miracles in your life ALL the time you are alive!!!
Don't be discouraged if you are slower than most, you just have to find YOUR calling!!!! Life is wonderful but you need a financial plan
1. Save $1 for every $10 you make!! You must pay yourself 1st...
2. have one account for bills, one for emergency and one for "family stuff or your stuff' if single/no kids
3. write how much money you NEED to live comfortable and don't settle for "just making it"..BUT if that's all you can do...then enjoy it!!
You don't need to be on the wheel of life OR keep up with the Jones IF you know you have reached YOUR FULL potential of what God gave you!!! 
Always find ways to live better, make more income to be comfortable, never chase a $..that is why you should have 2 jobs if your  with no kids!!! when one check mess up, you have the other, never stressing over a bill...trust me I know all too well and that is why i share, so you DON'T make the mistakes I made!!!
Remember God loves YOU MOST!!! Your  Divine and powerful when you have faith, love and try to be all God wants you to be!!! xo

Tanya

Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Talk Radio

Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Talk Radio
Me interviewing with Tommy!! May is National foster care awareness month..come out Friday at the Mount Kisco Public Library 2nd fl 2-4 pm We will be raising awareness and I will share my story!!

Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Talk Radio

Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Talk Radio Tanya on Radio!! see you Friday May 18th in Mount Kisco Public Library!! 2-4pm

Happy Mothers Day!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU ALL - DO BETTER THAN YOUR MOTHERS, MOTHERS, MOTHERS BY UPLIFTING AND ADVANCING THE NEXT GENERATION!
IF YOUR KIDS CAN'T DO BETTER THAN YOU, WHY DID WE HAVE THEM? EDUCATE YOUR KIDS, LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONAL, NEVER CHECK OUT ON THEM BY TURNING TO DRUGS, CHECK IN ON THEM WITH LOVE, COMPASSION AND PRAYER, AND HOPE FOR A BETTER, BRIGHTER FUTURE!! XO

TANYA

some out an celebrate National Foster care awareness month with Fosterkidsunite!! RSVP....if you know any youth aging out and going to college email me for an application for our Robert Cooper Memorial stipend!!
Fosterkidsunite tries to address issues raised AFTER foster care, an unforgotten community. Please come celebrate if your in NY, show your love for those that help and are being honored!

Have a great day, "smile, you may save or change a life" - Tanya

Taking action when the odds seem low!

Hi blog family!

* Reminder* May is National Foster Care Awareness month - Fosterkidsunite will be having our Robert Cooper memorial scholorship award ceremony at the Mount Kisco Library May 18th 2-4 2nd fl conference room!
( RSVP) You don't want to miss it, this is a time we find those aging out and off to school and award them with a stipend for their hard work and their future journey in life without major family support! If you know anyone in NY that is ageing out and could use money for books, transportation or toward tuition, please send me their email and I will forward an application!

Hope you are all enjoying the lovely weather by getting OUTSIDE, walking, biking, enjoying this lovely earth!

I know as a former foster child that at times when you are trying to keep your head above water; (work two jobs, smile- even when your not happy, be kind, feel family love, (when their is no mom to give a hug), just basic life skills of "making it" one day at a time - can be a challenge!
Why?
 If you grew up in group homes all of your life OR lived in foster homes who had parents that were more like gatekeepers than caregivers...lol..(some of you know what I am saying)... all of these can make it a daily struggle.
What I want you to do: 
1. always remain hopeful - ("we never give up!) :)
2. Focus on what you DO have and CAN do: (good friends, good mate, job, the fact that YOU are breathing, (and not on life support - if your reading this), the fact that YOU are here, (we all know with our former parents who were addicts, WE COULD HAVE DIED before we got to care; via abuse, neglect or your mom could of said let me not have this baby!!! I know its harsh but - don't ever forget that YOU are Alive!!
We often fall into pity parties" and forget that we are living - that means everything!! it means a new start every day you wake!
It means you can forgive (OR be forgiven) for the crazy mistake you made yesterday!!!
It means you can start over!! Do you know what that means in a world without parents??? Start over is everything!
When you age out (or those that did), don't be sad, be happy that now you can live your life how YOU see fit!
But it takes hard work!
Effort,
resistance and....
persistence!!
You Have to always be ready to take action - even when the odds are low! (w
You and I were born to beat the odds, in fact, as long as you are alive, breathing and with sound mind, chances/odds is our biggest weapon in the fight for a good, quality life after foster care!!!
Get excited every time you wake in the morning - even if its raining, even if you woke up to negative energy---only you can control how you "feel" - their is NO excuse for staying down- as a former foster child i am constantly falling.....and getting back up! There is nothing wrong with you if you experience sad feeling occasionally! There is nothing wrong" if you feel lonely-- even in a room full of people!
There is nothing wrong" with having the odds" "appearing" against you- remember you grew up in foster care NOTHING can shake you!
 How many people could survive AND be happy after losing parents at a young age or being separated from your sibling?
As human beings, we are more resilient than we think! Think of what you ancestors went through and still made it our alive AND produced many more generations!!!!

You are a winner - always know this, in fact- never allow anyone at anytime to tell you otherwise!
We must stay strong when the odds seem low--especially after foster care by: educating yourself, traveling the world when you can, helping others (it teaches humility), meditating/quiet time to listen what the universe or God is telling you!

You have a heart, follow it, nurture it, even if that means finding GOOD things to fill the void of not having family or a loving" mom/parent... find good friends/mates, love others more by giving your time to the needy....trust me it takes the spotlight off of "YOUR" problem! (remember everyone hurts sometime!!!!
Life is wonderful, full of surprises - don't give up at the first sign of trouble!
 
Dont forget, when the odds are against you:
Raise your head high and strut down the runway of life...all eyes on the winner-YOU!!!!

Have a great day and remember to smile, someone is watching you!!! You may save or change a life!! xo Tanya

keeping your eye on the prize

Hi blog family!
Thank you ALL who have visited this site!! We are growing, which means the word is getting out, a blog foster and ex foster kids can go to ....please ask any questions, I will find an answer if i don't have one!!

alot going on...including the usual life drama...always to be continued! lol...

Fosterkidsunite, what is the point of this blog? Why do we give stipends to kids aging out of foster care?
Because this is what I was called to do!!!
 I am blogging in response to a "naysayer", (they have no idea they was negative but I am sharing so that you learn a lesson on sticking to your guns!! ( thoughts, ideas, plans....not an actual gun...lol (i don't like those things and they kill people so please know i am NOT talking about a weapon! lol... follow me...

Today I am Keeping my eye on the prize...why am I hear, what is my purpose?? TO HELP OTHER FOSTER KIDS!!! I am clear about this.
I realized I don't have to be a celebrity or have money, I have to have heart, will and take action....and I am doing the later!
Recently I went to ask someone in great authority/position to help me, they basically said my ideas were great, ( I didn't need them to tell me that..i needed their model for success on helping others..), but they said: "no one would take me serious or give money without the 501c3 yet!"

At that point I lost all of my respect for this person because I thought they were a visionary" a leader" but I realize....they are just another clone in society who feels that only "known" people or those with "Money" can make a difference.

I thought to myself, if money could solve problems vs ideas, a few good people and action, then why is Africa still starving?
why is Katrina victims still displaced,
why are people still homeless,.. because we have, "money" in place to help them???

 I hope you get my point--money is needed, is great BUT without the PERSON to volunteer or take time, money means nothing!!

I want to see change, one kid at a time!
 It may  seem slow but at least I will see the results and NOT a statistic!! I want to know how that "kid" that aged out is doing in 15 years..after he left...no what 350,000 kids on paper are "doing"!!!! follow me....
We as people need to get up get out and do something for a cause we believe in, nothing will change until WE do!! Stats mean NOTHING unless YOU SEE and know results, you can only know if you follow through adulthood, everything else....is a guess...

As you may know May is National Foster Care Awareness month--deemed by our president as a time to raise awareness, in your way, in your community about the issues of foster care!

This will be our 2nd event at the Mount Kisco Public Library May 18th 2-4 2nd floor conference room. 
Please RSVP!! (the room only holds 100!)  and last year, it was filled!!

We will be honoring people working with foster kids and a few young people aging out and going to school will be awarded a stipend to help them through the first semester!
We hope each winner will not care about the money but the fact that someone is thinking of them, following them through school and teaching them they must PAY IT FORWARD!!
We can only help each other by sharing what we know, then passing it on.
There are times when you will be tested on how much you believe in you or your ideas and faith...I say... keep your eye on the prize...aging out gracefully and with a future plan--even if its not exactly what you envisioned, its a plan!
I was told the other day after sharing that i was doing this event and will make NO money, (all food, items for event are donated) but i was still asked by a person: "why are you doing it if your not getting anything out of it"?  I was stunned but I know that MOST people are not awake and everyone wants to keep up with the Jones" - but not only was I not raised like that by my foster mother but I take on this work because SOMEBODY has too!!
And who better than I who lived through foster care? Life still is not perfect, (it never will be or I would be in "heaven" lol..) I know that 30,000 kids leaving a year and around 9,000 in care in my area....I can only help a few...but I'M OK with that!!
Don't allow negative or money hungry people into your head to make you think that your wrong for not wanting money for doing something you love!
We are still working on the 501c3 but that will not deter me from helping 4 kids a year, only health or death could stop me now.
 I know what a difference ONE person can make in the life of a foster kid who has NO FAMILY- I would NOT have made it through NYU without the help of a lovely lady, (R.I.P Mrs. Bauer)! So the point for today is to stay focused on what is right for YOU, stay true to what YOU believe, even if its not aligned with others, as long as its right, ethical, and will help you to help others...

life is short, when I leave there is only one song I could hear in my head: "If I can help somebody, as I travel along, then my living will not be in vain".. (writer unknown)... this is my favorite gospel hymn and my fav song since i came into foster care. I try not to let naysayers effect me, but i am human. Please know that I care about every foster child and I will do what i can, with what little I have to assure a few " get it" before they leave care! This is my mission with Fosterkidsunite, I hope your in!

Have a great day, smile, someone is watching you - you may make their day!! xo Tanya

May 18th celebration reminder

Hi blog family!
Reminder - May 18th 2-4 at the Mount Kisco Library Fosterkidsunite will be having our annual "Robert Cooper Memorial Scholorship award ceremony!!  Please RSVP if you plan to attend! We will also be honoring two great people from Westchester who do alot of work with group home kids!! I will also be sharing information on fostering and how to help our kids in care!!

Have a great day ...smile, someone is watching you....xo Tanya

Words from Tony Robbins on Own...

Hi blog family!
I like to give credit when do AND if someone else can say something to save or change your life........I let them speak and share what they say!
Tony Robbins is a brilliant man who gets "how to live and enjoy life".... I got this from Oprah's own, (forgive me O) lol... but good stuff must be shared!!! enjoy!!

The life coach and host of Breakthrough with Tony Robbins believes in living a passionate life, a life in which fear is a counselor, not a jailer. Here, he shows us how to "step up" during our most intimidating moments:

1. Don't Turn an Excuse into an Identity
We need be careful of how we label ourselves, for example, saying "I'm an fearful person" or "I'm a weak person" or "I'm not a strong person." Usually that label comes from your current or past behavior, but once the label becomes a part of you, it starts to control you. So what I try to get people to understand is: Hey, you're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. You don't need a label. All you need to do is say, "I have to decide how I want to be now going forward."

2. Develop a Habit 
Courage is not the absence of fear. That idea is the biggest b.s. in the world. Fear is impossible to eradicate. If you were completely fearless, you'd be dead. People who are courageous are scared to the core—they just make themselves go forward anyway; they make themselves take some kind of action. Taking action, even though you're afraid, is how you become courageous—because courage, like fear, is a habit. The more you do it, the more you do it, and this habit—of stepping up, of taking action—more than anything else, will move you in a different direction.

3. Let Your Body Lead the Way 
Taking that action for the first time can be pretty rough. When it comes time to give the speech to the committee or snowboard down the mountain, don't hesitate. Don't start to analyze it. The longer you stand there, the harder it gets, because then your mind gets involved. If your challenge is mental, use your body. If it's in the body, use your body more aggressively. At 17 years old, I was on my own, sleeping in a laundry room. I had no idea what to do. I was so depressed. Fear is physically debilitating. I had to defeat it. So I made myself run until I thought I was going to spit up blood. I got stronger in my body, which, in turn gave me mental strength. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Tony-Robbins-How-to-Live-Courageously#ixzz1qqF2l66z

May is coming!

Hi blog family!

Yes, I was away because my computer was not working!!  I am back!! lol... hope you are all well!
Just letting you know,

left side is my brother Rob... :) nice smile right...it got us thru foster care...and he was the cutest kid, (along with my other baby brother that i am searching for (Mark)...who should now be around 42 yrs old.. (hint ...he grew up in Elmsford, NY!!)...less than 15 miles from us!!! :( still will not stop searching....the Internet is great!!!

back to the point...... (lol)
save the date: May 18th 2-4 
Place:  Mount Kisco Library, (conference room 2nd fl).. (RSVP)


if you are aging out of foster care in NY and going to trade school or college, please give me your email so i can send you the application!!!! 


Attitude is everything, we want you to apply or tell kids to apply that are aging out in June!!! My brother believed everyone deserves a chance and not everyone is an "A" student....we agree so as long as they got into a school (trade or college), you can have them apply (this is to all the social workers, counselors)...lol...
Fosterkidsunite, will be having its 2nd annual "Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship" awards ceremony!!  We are still trying to surpass our goal from last year, with the help of Robs friends, we hope to raise enough to award more than 4 aging out this year!!!!
Aside from giving a few young people a stipend for college or trade school, we will also be honoring a Rev from one of the largest residences and a Boys and Girls Club Director, both of whom have done major work with foster and group home kids!
We are hoping to raise awareness on the state of foster kids and how you can help as a community! May is National Foster care awareness month!

Thought for the day: Never allow anyone to steal your joy, be that your smile, your kindness, your patience or your understanding - life is meant to be joyful, loving and prosperous and you should live your life surrounding these principles- even on a day when someone attempts to ruin it!
Remember life is short but that's OK if you enjoyed it and did all you could to be the best you!

smile, someone is watching you....and do all YOU can while YOU can....with WHAT resources YOU have!!!
:) xo
T

surviving foster care & making it work for you book for $4.99

Hi blog family! Save the date may 19th fosterkidsunite will
Be celebrating national foster care awareness month again by awarding
Youth leaving foster care with the Robert cooper memorial Scholorship in mount Kisco, ny!!

When u have a life experience- share it with others!
You can get a copy of Surviving Foster Care and Making it work for you! at www.createspace.com/3587372
$4.99 not a bad price to save or change a life! xo

Tanya

thankful for another year

Hi blog family!

Tomorrow- Feb 9th..... is another year I made it!
When I think of my circumstance;
1. my mom being an addict/alcoholic
2. being abandoned
3. growing up in foster care, being abused at a young age - WOW!

Like myself, many of you have went through or are going through the same challenges.
I want you to always remember God will never let you down, as long as you can celebrate a birthday every year- DO it! Life is precious.

We could have been the ; The "lisa Steinberghs", the kids drowned by there own mother when she put their car in the water with her kids, we could have been aborted, and most important, we could have NOT BEEN HERE!!!
Every day you wake, you should jump out of bed early, happy and ready to face ANY challenges life puts before you because you know If you are alive to tell YOUR story, You are a success!!
Don't EVER give up!
God has many plans fr you if you keep faith, even in the darkest moments.
Always remember your ancestors who survived slavery, holocaust, potato famine etc... how did they do it? Perseverance, positive, love of self, knowing they had a right like anyone else! adopt this attitude!
I want you to never say you hate your birthday (like I use to because i never got what I wanted or no one ever remembered :(
 Its YOUR birthday -
 go out and make it special!
 help someone else in foster care, be a role model....

Thanks to all you blog readers, almost 11,000!!!! wow!
Remember May 19th Fosterkidsunite will be doing another event in Mt. Kisco for foster kids.

anyone living in NY that can attend the event can apply for the Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship, social workers you may know a foster kid leaving/aging out going to trade school or college, please send me your email and I will send application.

Have a great day and smile, you may save or change a life!!! xo Tanya
ps. computer screen is acting up forgive any typos!!
Always available to speak to your group home or foster kids/parents

aged out?

Hi blog family!

Hope you are all well! Beautiful day out again, go out and enjoy it - get your 45 minutes of exercise everyday!!
\
On a sad note I have been talking to kids who just aged out of foster care less than 6 months ago, already, they are heading in shady areas. Sometimes you graduate and get to college but you get there and realize - you are not motivated! Why? because you are normal! Don't get discouraged if you leave and get into college and it does NOT work out on easy street! It may take you a while to figure out what you are great at and what YOU can do, not what your parent, sibling, friend or agency wants you to do or what's the easiest!

Step back if this happens to you
Pull your resources togeather for a team meeting- yes, contact your former agency and ASK if they can do a team meeting to see how they can assist you!

Remember: YOU ARE not A FAILURE in any way!!!!! This is called.......LIFE!! It happens to us all!! question is what are you going to do next?

and if you are fortunate enough to go back home, DONOT allow your family stress to stress you out - you are not a babysitter, caregiver, your job is to be independent and IF you go back home your parent should not be relying on you to bring home the bacon. It is fair to give your parent some of your earnings but if its all, you need to find transitional housing or a room like the YMCA to rent - so you can save until you figure it out...

NEVER give in or give up - success is only a mile away!!
you are loved, needed and blessed to be alive!! smile, somenone may be watching you!!! xo
Tanya

Hi blog family!

words for the day: Always move forward, rarely look back and don't ever stop achieving for greatness, love and to help others!

xo Tanya

where would we be without you?

Hi blog family!

ask yourself:
Where would this world be without you? Someone would be less, could see less, could be gone, had you not come along.....the next time you think of hurting yourself or giving up, hold on, hold out, we need you!!
Smile, someone is watching you - you may save or change a life!! lol...

Tanya

To Be Heard | A Documentary

this is a must see!

life is not always roses...but you can still grow to be a flower!!

To Be Heard | A Documentary

the message is delivered!

Hi blog family!
I spoke in Syracuse yesterday! They have an amazing team to work with foster kids and parents!! You are in good hands, always take the  help being offered, you can always go back and help someone else!!
I am inspired by the foster youth I spoke to yesterday! They were smart, witty, loving, charming, funny and ready to face life head on with a smile! Thank you for letting me share my story, go out and help others just coming in!! Here is some word of advice.....

No matter what we go thru in life, it can make you stronger, if you stay focued, believe in God or higher power and know that we are all just energy and all things....all things are changing, good bad, etc... in form every second...hold out when hard time comes, pray hard but keep your head high, you are highly blessed and favored!!! We need you in this life to help others, without you someone may not have a great day!!!

Every day you wake - should be a good day, for many will not make it; suicide, depression, murder, death, all very real but YOU are still here! Be grateful for your life. YOur parents are only a vehicle to get you here sometimes- accept it and use it to your advantage!!
Who can you utilize today to help your life go foward after foster care?
1. yourself- trust your instincts
be true to you, love you!
2. friends, counselors: did u make a connection with someone in care, a neighbor, counselor, someone who always had your back - without expecting something other than you doing your best?
3. Faith: know that God and the universe has no "mistakes" he knows you are resilant and able to adjust to anything this life has to offer, so offer YOUR best, even in hard times, help others and love you!
Know that we are all here for Diving purpose, find yours, help others find theirs and live and honest life, stress free by planning your future now....
Remember when hard times hit: NOTHING LAST FOREVER!!! but tuff people, they last thru anything life throws them!!!
Lastly: "WE NEVER GIVE UP!!! failing is not an option you are the best creation in this life,  go getem!!! xoxo Tanya
ps. smile, someone is watching you, you may change or save a life!! :)

speaking today!

Hi blog family!
Yes, my computer is down! but that will not stop me! I have a story to deliver to foster parents today and foster kids tommorrow - nothing will stop me from helping change or save a life!!

Have a blessed day, be kind to everyone you meet!!! xo
Tanya

kindness

Hi blog family!!
Being kind is what I would like for us to think about today! To everyone you meet! Yes, even the.... meany...lol...
Kindness is learned as a young child and if you did not have parents or someone to teach you, you could come off as selfish and it may be just BUT it is no excuse to treat another person bad! Always use good manners and kindness, it only brings positive to your life!

When someone is being mean or ill spirited, it is because they started off on a negative!! Perhaps they are just a negative force - that is not your problem- you want to have a good experience when you cross someone's path, you can't do that by being mean! You catch more fly's with honey" they say....lol..

You can help make it a great day: by remaining positive and loving, even when its hard due to life circumstances OR when the person you deal with is not positive! I tend to avoid negative people at all cost - its contagious!!! lol... Smile, the world is watching you, needs you and you are loved!!!

Have a GREAT day, by being kind and loving to all you meet, you may save or change a life!! xo
Tanya

Happy New Year!!

Hi blog family!

Happy New Year to all my blog readers!!!! We did it! Another year! WOW!

So you made it into a new year!!
 Congratulations for staying strong and NEVER giving up!!

 Now is the time for you to reassess what YOU need to do NOW to make THIS year BETTER than last and more productive!! 
Take that singing class, write your first poem or script, record that album, start your new business, find your new mate or friends,
find your talent and gifts - and let them guide you to your greatness!!!!

xo
Tanya