This is a place where you can come for advice or a kind word. If you are in a group home, Foster care or had no family due to any circumstance, There are many things you may not have learned. I hope to motivate change in your life! If you have no family to inspire you on bad days, you may find something here to show you how to get out of your bubble and "take back your life! * These words are my opinions only and based on my 16 years in foster care! FosterKidsUniteInc@gmail.com
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Suicide/aging out
Hi blog family!Sorry to tell you about this story but you need to know- YOU ARE NEEDED in this world-NEVER think of hurting yourself or others. Not only do you lose your life but OTHERS may die or go without because your not here to help. Remember- WE ALL have divine purpose!!! You are loved and If you are aging out or in care and feel you want to hurt yourself call 1800 suicide or call 911...someone is waiting to talk you down because YOU ARE SPECIAL! This is why I do what i do-so that none of us who use to be in care or are in care will ever feel like hurting ourselves or others- know that you are what the world has been waiting for! If you want to be inspired and get through anything-read my book, it will be available next week, in the meantime- write me if you feel down, DON"T hurt yourself-We need you!! RIP ERWIN!!
Victim 'aged out' of system
POSTED: 01:30 a.m. HST, Oct 25, 2010
Erwin Viado Celes hanged himself last month, just six months after he "aged out" of Hawaii's foster care system, and now his friends are trying to raise enough money to pay for his funeral and burial.
Celes' suicide highlights the sudden gap that island foster children frequently fall into once they become legal adults but have no reliable support or even a bed of their own, said David Louis, executive director of the nonprofit group Heart Gallery Hawaii, which works to find resources for foster children.
Services for Erwin Viado Celes » Where: Our Lady of Perpetual Help, 91-1004 North Road, Ewa Beach » When: Visitation from 9 to 10:30 a.m. tomorrow. Mass at 11 a.m. Burial at 1:30 p.m. at Mililani Memorial Park. » To donate:Donations may be made at any Bank of Hawaii branch or to Heart Gallery Hawaii, 3554 Aliamanu St., Honolulu, HI 96818. Checks should include the phrase "For Erwin Viado Celes" in the memo line. |
When he turned 18, Celes received court approval to stay in Hawaii's foster care system for another year -- until his 19th birthday on March 12, Louis said.
After leaving his foster family, Celes bounced between homes in Waianae, Mililani and Waipahu until he was found dead Sept. 7 in Hawaii Kai, said Elena Raymond, Celes' friend and co-worker.
Celes spent 14 years in foster care and "didn't talk about it a lot," Raymond said, "but he would tell us bits and pieces about being in foster homes."
Louis called Celes' suicide "a preventable tragedy."
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
can you make a difference?
Hi blog family! My book is done, I will let you know where to get it next week...:)
In case I never mentioned it - I do motivational speaking for kids in care and social workers/agency's/foster parents..My consulting company: Fostering Connections email me or send me a message with your info!
can you make a difference after foster care? YES!! YOU!! CAN!! (no this is not Obama) but same principle..:))
We are all here for a purpose--to experience, challenge, then motivate for action!
WHatever you went through in foster care is OK--you survived!! If you are a foster parent experiencing a child who is challenging--its OK...YOU can make it better ..(i will share more with foster parents later)
If you are a foster parent: most of you was called to do this work because YOU have a divine purpose= to raise a future king or queen!!
It is vital that everyone is on the same page: This child's mental, physical and phychological impact is our #1 priority AND preserviing it is our duty!!!
You as a former foster child
or foster parent can mentor to a kid in care--especially group homes because they have no individual attention..
show them how to live a good life: eating/dressing correctly (including what to eat), show them new adventures, the museaum, art gallery, Paris, NY, the local lake...show them what beauty lies in this world.
They cannot move forward until they learn to appreciate the little they do have...counselors that care, staff that bends over backward to make sure they get grants for school or a tutor, food to eat.... those little things matter, now how you can help...help them plan for their future by putting them in activity's that allow them to show their talent or skills!!!
You are an advocate and if you don't focus and set goals, they will turn out like most foster kids who leave care- 47% no diploma, some homeless, jobless, kids early...500,000 kids are in care in the US....25,000 or so a year are leaving, it takes a village to raise a child...you can make a difference by doing SOMETHING--help them get an internship, show them HOW to work, How to dress, (I have created a workshop--model behavior 101, (since i use to be a runway model in Paris/NY)--
just for etiquette, walking/body language, talking, and behavior etc..)
In case I never mentioned it - I do motivational speaking for kids in care and social workers/agency's/foster parents..My consulting company: Fostering Connections email me or send me a message with your info!
can you make a difference after foster care? YES!! YOU!! CAN!! (no this is not Obama) but same principle..:))
We are all here for a purpose--to experience, challenge, then motivate for action!
WHatever you went through in foster care is OK--you survived!! If you are a foster parent experiencing a child who is challenging--its OK...YOU can make it better ..(i will share more with foster parents later)
If you are a foster parent: most of you was called to do this work because YOU have a divine purpose= to raise a future king or queen!!
It is vital that everyone is on the same page: This child's mental, physical and phychological impact is our #1 priority AND preserviing it is our duty!!!
You as a former foster child
or foster parent can mentor to a kid in care--especially group homes because they have no individual attention..
show them how to live a good life: eating/dressing correctly (including what to eat), show them new adventures, the museaum, art gallery, Paris, NY, the local lake...show them what beauty lies in this world.
They cannot move forward until they learn to appreciate the little they do have...counselors that care, staff that bends over backward to make sure they get grants for school or a tutor, food to eat.... those little things matter, now how you can help...help them plan for their future by putting them in activity's that allow them to show their talent or skills!!!
You are an advocate and if you don't focus and set goals, they will turn out like most foster kids who leave care- 47% no diploma, some homeless, jobless, kids early...500,000 kids are in care in the US....25,000 or so a year are leaving, it takes a village to raise a child...you can make a difference by doing SOMETHING--help them get an internship, show them HOW to work, How to dress, (I have created a workshop--model behavior 101, (since i use to be a runway model in Paris/NY)--
just for etiquette, walking/body language, talking, and behavior etc..)
Saturday, October 23, 2010
to foster parents..thank you
Hi blog family!
thanks Griffith family for all your hard work. I will be addressing foster parents this blog but I also have something more later.
What foster kids need:
1. loving willing capable, functional parent/s that have a BIG heart unconditionally
2. read as much as they can about various abuse: neglect, etc... (then you will understand how to help the child with compassion..
3. if you have kids that are not related...keep an eye on any that was sexually abused...they may act out on it..(I talk about this in my book: "Surviving Foster care & Making it work for you"..
4. know that whatever your kids went through MUST be talked about, processed and worked through, with therapy, mommy love/therapy and community help ...it takes a village to raise a child....
5. set up a trust fund and put their money that comes monthly from the state for clothes/allowance put some of that money away, especially if they are young, it is priceless to have SOME funds when you age out--I had none and I was never given my money--although I always had the best clothes and food BUT a bank account would have been nicer and more helpful.... put something away and teach them the art of saving for a rainy day...
6. teach them they are the hero of this world, the universe is waiting for them to develop so they can help others...and share whatever gifts and talents they have...
7. make sure when they leave the door is always open for a holiday--I never had anywhere to go because i was sexually abused in my foster home--I loved the family--did not want to see my abusers...it's nice to have a place to go when you have no family...
8. be CAREFRONTATIONL-- Dr. Harris Straytner coined this phrase--approach with care and concern, not anger and acsusations..love heals all--even when your parents give you away or you went through abuse--with work, a loving family, therapy,,,,anyone can heal!! (I talk more to victums in my book) I will let you know where to get it soon,
This is it for today, I hope I helped and will do more for foster parents, smile, someone is watching and check out my other blog for teens fosterkidsonly.blogspot.com/
Tanya
thanks Griffith family for all your hard work. I will be addressing foster parents this blog but I also have something more later.
What foster kids need:
1. loving willing capable, functional parent/s that have a BIG heart unconditionally
2. read as much as they can about various abuse: neglect, etc... (then you will understand how to help the child with compassion..
3. if you have kids that are not related...keep an eye on any that was sexually abused...they may act out on it..(I talk about this in my book: "Surviving Foster care & Making it work for you"..
4. know that whatever your kids went through MUST be talked about, processed and worked through, with therapy, mommy love/therapy and community help ...it takes a village to raise a child....
5. set up a trust fund and put their money that comes monthly from the state for clothes/allowance put some of that money away, especially if they are young, it is priceless to have SOME funds when you age out--I had none and I was never given my money--although I always had the best clothes and food BUT a bank account would have been nicer and more helpful.... put something away and teach them the art of saving for a rainy day...
6. teach them they are the hero of this world, the universe is waiting for them to develop so they can help others...and share whatever gifts and talents they have...
7. make sure when they leave the door is always open for a holiday--I never had anywhere to go because i was sexually abused in my foster home--I loved the family--did not want to see my abusers...it's nice to have a place to go when you have no family...
8. be CAREFRONTATIONL-- Dr. Harris Straytner coined this phrase--approach with care and concern, not anger and acsusations..love heals all--even when your parents give you away or you went through abuse--with work, a loving family, therapy,,,,anyone can heal!! (I talk more to victums in my book) I will let you know where to get it soon,
This is it for today, I hope I helped and will do more for foster parents, smile, someone is watching and check out my other blog for teens fosterkidsonly.blogspot.com/
Tanya
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
what makes you special?
hi blog family:
As adults, have you ever wondered what makes you so special? think about this.
You survived foster care or something that you thought you would not make it through.
what makes you so special is the fact that YOU survived!!
my example of how everyone is special..
unfortunately, thanks to J. Steinbergh and H Nausbaum--Lisa Steinbergh is no longer here. It saddens me to think they took her life with no remorse! BUT how do I work through that pain of knowing a foster child was killed--by knowing she was special and had divine purpose like all of us, even if it was a moment and to bring attention to foster kids being abused in NY. that may seem small but thanks to lisa, we now have a better system in place for spotting child abuse--
we have a long way to go but because of this case, some neighbor is a little more nosy,
some social worker is a little more into checking homes,
someone like you keeps your eyes open...all because of a special little girl named lisa.
We are all special and went through fostercare, abandonment, abuse or neglect for some reason--to help others stay alive!! Lisa steinbergh helped me realize why I was special and had to help others.
I ask you, what can you do today-to help others in foster care?
If you are not a people person think of other ways you can help: be kind to kids in care, showing them a skill, mentoring, tutoring a foster kids,
there are so many ways to help, think of how you can help..we can change the faces of kids in foster care, one kid at a time..we want them to leave feeling empowered.
WHat makes you so special--you remember how it felt to not have a family and YOU will help empower our future generation!!
I thank the creator for you, please realize why you are special-you are here to tell a story and save or change a life!! xo Tanya
As adults, have you ever wondered what makes you so special? think about this.
You survived foster care or something that you thought you would not make it through.
what makes you so special is the fact that YOU survived!!
my example of how everyone is special..
unfortunately, thanks to J. Steinbergh and H Nausbaum--Lisa Steinbergh is no longer here. It saddens me to think they took her life with no remorse! BUT how do I work through that pain of knowing a foster child was killed--by knowing she was special and had divine purpose like all of us, even if it was a moment and to bring attention to foster kids being abused in NY. that may seem small but thanks to lisa, we now have a better system in place for spotting child abuse--
we have a long way to go but because of this case, some neighbor is a little more nosy,
some social worker is a little more into checking homes,
someone like you keeps your eyes open...all because of a special little girl named lisa.
We are all special and went through fostercare, abandonment, abuse or neglect for some reason--to help others stay alive!! Lisa steinbergh helped me realize why I was special and had to help others.
I ask you, what can you do today-to help others in foster care?
If you are not a people person think of other ways you can help: be kind to kids in care, showing them a skill, mentoring, tutoring a foster kids,
there are so many ways to help, think of how you can help..we can change the faces of kids in foster care, one kid at a time..we want them to leave feeling empowered.
WHat makes you so special--you remember how it felt to not have a family and YOU will help empower our future generation!!
I thank the creator for you, please realize why you are special-you are here to tell a story and save or change a life!! xo Tanya
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Jim Rohn: How to Avoid Being Broke and Stupid
what he says may be harsh but LISTEN and LEARN, there is always a lesson for you! xo Tanya
toxic people
hi blog family!
glad you are still amongst the living...:)
my message today to you is: stay away from toxic people!
when you have done your best to help someone or befriend a person and they constantly throw you under a bus---leave the friendship.
It can only bring you up and down like a yo-yo--who wants that?
Sometimes people hold onto others thinking they "need" them...
You only need positive people that are healthy. Sometimes people appear wonderful but if you are around them long enough-you learn they are not healthy at all inside and it will show by how they treat you. Most people donot get the proper therapy to process what happend to them in childhood, ie abuse etc..) so they grow up as adults, looking for the same drama they had as a child, yelling, fighting, etc.. very crucial to process painful past issues, especially foster kids!!
It follows you into adult hood and pops up in the way you treat people, use people, manipulate others...it will show up!!
As a foster kid, i loved being alone and enjoying me, so it is easy for me to "clean house" when friends are not acting right---learn to do inventory on your friendship stock---get rid of anyone who is not a blessing in your life and treating you with respect and desency--
a saying in the clinic world: "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"-
learn to enjoy you,
do more writing, reading,
meditating,
exercising
and more to help others, not hurt--peace and love Tanya
glad you are still amongst the living...:)
my message today to you is: stay away from toxic people!
when you have done your best to help someone or befriend a person and they constantly throw you under a bus---leave the friendship.
It can only bring you up and down like a yo-yo--who wants that?
Sometimes people hold onto others thinking they "need" them...
You only need positive people that are healthy. Sometimes people appear wonderful but if you are around them long enough-you learn they are not healthy at all inside and it will show by how they treat you. Most people donot get the proper therapy to process what happend to them in childhood, ie abuse etc..) so they grow up as adults, looking for the same drama they had as a child, yelling, fighting, etc.. very crucial to process painful past issues, especially foster kids!!
It follows you into adult hood and pops up in the way you treat people, use people, manipulate others...it will show up!!
As a foster kid, i loved being alone and enjoying me, so it is easy for me to "clean house" when friends are not acting right---learn to do inventory on your friendship stock---get rid of anyone who is not a blessing in your life and treating you with respect and desency--
a saying in the clinic world: "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"-
learn to enjoy you,
do more writing, reading,
meditating,
exercising
and more to help others, not hurt--peace and love Tanya
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
speaking in Maryland
Hi blog family!
I had a great time speaking with the hard truth panel for the last time today :( My book is finally Done! "Surviving Foster Care & Making it work for you!" I will get back to you on a release date!
What a great audience of proffessionals that really came out to support youth in foster care!
I shared my story and then gave some ideas I thought could help. For those that were in care I am sure you remember the day your worker came and got you!
I remember being hungry!!
1. I suggested that they bring a piece of food when they go to confiscate a child from their home...along with a camera..to preserve their history! I never had a picture of myself as a baby or before 7...and the one picture I had....my birth cousin took and never gave it back... it would have been nice to see a photo of myself when I first came into care..
2. Be careful what we write in a child's record--it follows them for the rest of their lives....I remember when i read I was "slow"--when i first came in care!! I felt they should have considered I came from an abandonment/neglect situation....whom could I have learned from??? I did not start school until I was 7 years old....
3, Teaching kids in care to think positive, that they will be there own hero at the end of the day...by going to class, finding good support, loving self etc...and finding their gifts and talent at a young age will give them confidence...nothing like knowing you have "something" people appreciate.. your sense of value is increased..
4. hiring ex foster care alumni like us, My book, workshops I created, the blog of encouragement...kids like familiarity...we have been there, done that and now as Oprah says...the AHHHHH moments, but we share it with the kids BEFORE they age out!!
I had plenty more but we only had 20 minutes.....know that alot of people are working to change the lives of kids in foster care, thanks for listiening Maryland!! xo Tanya
I had a great time speaking with the hard truth panel for the last time today :( My book is finally Done! "Surviving Foster Care & Making it work for you!" I will get back to you on a release date!
What a great audience of proffessionals that really came out to support youth in foster care!
I shared my story and then gave some ideas I thought could help. For those that were in care I am sure you remember the day your worker came and got you!
I remember being hungry!!
1. I suggested that they bring a piece of food when they go to confiscate a child from their home...along with a camera..to preserve their history! I never had a picture of myself as a baby or before 7...and the one picture I had....my birth cousin took and never gave it back... it would have been nice to see a photo of myself when I first came into care..
2. Be careful what we write in a child's record--it follows them for the rest of their lives....I remember when i read I was "slow"--when i first came in care!! I felt they should have considered I came from an abandonment/neglect situation....whom could I have learned from??? I did not start school until I was 7 years old....
3, Teaching kids in care to think positive, that they will be there own hero at the end of the day...by going to class, finding good support, loving self etc...and finding their gifts and talent at a young age will give them confidence...nothing like knowing you have "something" people appreciate.. your sense of value is increased..
4. hiring ex foster care alumni like us, My book, workshops I created, the blog of encouragement...kids like familiarity...we have been there, done that and now as Oprah says...the AHHHHH moments, but we share it with the kids BEFORE they age out!!
I had plenty more but we only had 20 minutes.....know that alot of people are working to change the lives of kids in foster care, thanks for listiening Maryland!! xo Tanya
Saturday, October 2, 2010
"feeling Good"
"feel it"
Hi blog family,
today I want you to enjoy your Sat off..feeling happy and excited to be in this world..because YOU are needed~~ ONly think positive thoughts today and good things will come your way....stay positive and avoid negative energy suckers today....you are about the positive and FEELING good...(like you won 1 million dollars and your going to get it now).....start feeling the million!!!! xo Tanya
today I want you to enjoy your Sat off..feeling happy and excited to be in this world..because YOU are needed~~ ONly think positive thoughts today and good things will come your way....stay positive and avoid negative energy suckers today....you are about the positive and FEELING good...(like you won 1 million dollars and your going to get it now).....start feeling the million!!!! xo Tanya
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