happy with your life?

Hi blog family!

I hope all of my teens are enjoying the summer, reading, doing activitys that are outdoors, so you can get your natural vitamin D!! For those of us that are older, are you REALLY enjoying your life? are you at a good place in life? Are you being worn down by old problems; neglect abandonment or abuse?

No worry!! The good news is: ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE IT!! No matter what the issue is that caused the problem. If you are not happy in your life and need change--DO IT!! Nike has the best commercial saying for this!! Change starts within YOU!! The person who neglected, abused or abandoned you may move forward with their life and you need to find closure via therapy, self help books or your religion (no clans or kooks pls..lol...).. find your inner strength and let it guide you to change your life from within: thinking how did being in foster care effect you, however long you were in care, that's how long you need to work, it is ongoing progress!! You can change anything in your life with an instant thought and action!!! Tired of being broke....invent something that will get you paid!! tired of abusive relationships....kick them to the curb and only settle for a mate who meets your standards! tired of bum friends, find new ones who motivate and inspire you!!! life is a lesson for us all and one thing i learned, I am in control of my destiny-at all times!!! take action today!! xo
you are loved!!!

knowing u have divine purpose

Hi blog family!! Don't be startled!

I decided to do a makeover ..just for fun, i like me the way i am and only wear makeup for tv...but i was thinking  maybe we should all do a mental makeover!! :)

I am saddend every time i hear of a young person, like Amy Winehouse dying. Why? because it does not matter how she went, she is gone and we have lost a person who may have been caught up in addiction BUT her voice was her tool that God/the universe allowed her to use to heal our pain.
We all have divine purpose; homeless, addicts, old, young, at some point, you touched someone's life! This is not to say your life has to be good it could be in pure chaos but if Most of us think back, we have effected somene sometime somewhere!!

Know that you have divine purpose and you are needed by the universe.
Without each and everyone of you, something may NOT get done today.
Without you Something MAY get done today, that was not  intended..
.think of how you help others,
how you love others, how you have hurt or changed others, at the end of the day when we die, ask yourself: what have I done, to change the world, starting with me.....it is never too late to change....

you are loved, divine and special have a lovely night xo

Tanya

How old? warning for parents

how old? warning for parents

Hi - to those that were in foster care and now may have children!!
 I am sure you heard about the young boy killed walking alone to school....just 8 years old!!

 My words today are: please don't allow your kids to walk anywhere alone under 13 years old!! if you were a foster kid or lived in the group homes- you know first hand vultures are always waiting for you!! They know you don't have family-which makes you easy pray. Remember those lessons for your kids-you will need them!!

 There are some advantages to growing up in the group homes- you are less likely to approach a car because your innocence is gone and your instinct kicks in when you see trouble!! 
Even at 10 with a buddy/family member perhaps.
8 is way too young, there are no decision making skills, this is why the poor boy not only went to a car for help, but got in!
He is innocent and did not know how to "judge" anyone, as far as he was concerned, the world was perfect and he was loved.
Usually - (unless they come from a horrible background of abuse/violence etc..) Crime never enters a "basic family raised" 8 year old  mind because he/she is at a precious age of innocence and usually has been protected.

It was his parents job to protect him from monsters like this!
No one can ever be 100% safe but this was an unfortunate price for a parent to pay for "letting your kid find themselves and be grown up"...
*A few kids parents stated he tried to get them in the car....this guy is a serious pedophile and it would not shock me if they find more victims....and if they don't its because he "got rid of the evidence".

 How do we as parents avoid this? Don't allow your kids to walk alone anywhere and don't leave them in the care of strangers OR people they ARE NOT comfortable with!! Especially foster kids, they will not usually tell you someone is threatening or hurting them...they don't want to be "moved again" or lose the only home they liked!!
 I knew a man who told me his mothers best friend use to make him perform" acts while she babysit!! I have heard this many times, sad part is, they never told there parents they were only 9 and 10 years old..she was 40...clearly a female pedophile!!
I wonder how many more this monster hurt?......
 think before we act as parents, it is our job to provide love, protect and keep safe...
thanks Tanya

Life after death?

Hi BLog family!

R.I.P LITTLE BROTHER!!


it has been a minute but i am back!! I had to reflect on my brother's death and figure out how to better myself and keep moving forward. It is a challenge when you have NO family!! Some of you are lucky to have a sister, brother, aunt, grandma/pa...someone I had only my baby brother who always looked out for me, now that he is gone I am dealing with people who LIKE me but they have conditions and terms....my brother..had none, just that I love him unconditionally and be successful for me!!
It has been a big challenge because I have based my life on one family member!! maybe that was not good but I rolled with the person who I knew had my back, good or bad and NEVER judged me!!

My challenge today is: how to pick up the pieces after losing a sibling? I fight harder for foster children now to stay togeather. Even if they are seperated, workers and counselors should arrange skype, IM, texting, fb on a daily basis... your siblings are all you have when your parents leave, if you are seperated and donot keep in touch, its like having no sibling at all....there is no Loyalty connection....it takes years to get that unlimited trust...not just because you have the same mom...
If you have a missing sibling, try to find them and if you can repair the damage seperation can do...if it does not work out...don't fight it...let it go and see them when you can, DONT be stressed by anyone, life is short and its not worth it. If you are fotunate enough to have a sibling like my brother Rob, who stayed with you in foster care and still is with you....LOVE them and cherish them, treat them with dignity and respect and loyalty, don't let anyone or anything come between you and the person that helped you thru your hardest moment...losing mom.... Love until the end and don't be sad if they died, be thankful of ALL the wonderful times you had and that you had unconditional love you DID NOT get from anywhere else...i am thankful for my 41 years with my brother, i would not trade it for the world-be thankful and enjoy your siblings if you have some!! xo Tanya

R.I.P Little brother

hi blog family!

Today marks 2 years @ 10:15am that my baby brother died..
(i have one younger who was adopted, in Elmsford NY around 3 years old by two blk doctors).. that i am looking for..Mark..he would be about 40 years old born Oct 7,... if u know anyone from Elsmford, NY send me a note, i am looking for a year book from elementry schools in the area...i will never stop searching...

Dedication Note
Rob died of heart disease at 41 years old....sober..:)
 Alot happend in his life but nothing worse than our mom not being able to come back for us when he was 2 years old! He loved our 2nd foster mother dearly.
Struggling with knowing who you are and believing it when the one person who is sopose to love you most disapears...and never returns....
Who was Robert?
Rob was the type of person if he saw you stranded on a highway and "felt" you needed help, he would make me pull my car over and help!

one time we actually saved a woman's life who had forgotten to take her meds and was hyperventalating when Rob looked over on 684..."stop the car T!"
 I said "why, i have to go to work and its hot?"
he said just**!&* stop the car that lady needs our help!" (ofcourse i listened because Rob could be very much like a "father", especially when giving orders to help others!) lol...
Rob made me pull over, and ofcourse, his gut was right!
-she was in distress and was "afraid" to open the windows, (even though it was around 87 dgrees....therefore hyperventalating more!
Rob called it..we helped her (he did - i just drove and got out to see if i could convince her to roll her window down so we could help her,, while Rob told the scared woman that we were "safe" and "not going to harm her, we were only here to "help" Rob told her. She calmed down and trusted him as she rolled down her window so he could respond...(he should have been an EMT!!....
Rob had a way with people,  all people, kids respected and loved him and seniors LOVED him cause if he knew you needed your yard raked or grocerys bought in- he was there and refused money from them!
back to the story.....lol..you know i have ADD!!

This lady listened to Rob coach her on breathing, he even found a paper bag, calmed her down and found her meds and gave her bottled water out of my car to take the pill.
Rob insisted the lady dial her husband and as the husband listened to Rob say she was safe and we would stay as long as needed, or drive her home, he felt a sence of relief and thanked us both-offering money for helping- Rob as usual refused and told her "God told me to stop" ...
My brother was very blessed, even in cocain addiction he had never been to jail...had a few fights...being tested..usually u did not want to fight with him because if he chose to fight you, he already mentally beat you!
He never sought out trouble and would often defuse any conflicts.. he even had me being cordial to people I would normally not associate with...but he said: "Coop, you have to meet people were they are at, you are not too far removed!"
he believed at any time- you could be where that person is...so dont judge... although i wish he were a better dad, i know he loved his kids..he knew in this life- he had messed up as far as they were concerned but he loved them and when he was there-you could see the joy in his life from teaching his son baseball... He did what he could do-with what he had.
He will be back again and I am sure he will get it right next time!
I am sad today because it is difficult to lose a sibling-but much harder when they grew up in foster care with you & had your back all your life.
It is hard because whenever I had self doubt, worry's or fears, one call to Rob-and it was wiped from my mind!
He was my motivator, confidant, dad, BFF, and my kids and I adored him for who he was.
We had a fight 1x in our lives....and we got beat so bad for fighting over a pocket knife, that we never fought again!
Rob knew that "I" was always right and HE was always right!
I got on him about a couple of things but i said my peice and let him do what he will-I knew i could not "change" him and really did not want to-because he accepted my flaws-without conditions!


What do you make of all this:
If you have a brother or sister, in or out of care-love them hard!!! FB, IM, write, go to each other's house, SEE EACH OTHER as much as you can-while your alive!! I am grateful i spoke to Rob the night before he died...
he actually said a strange goodbye...he had also tried to reach out and check on everyone more...although in person would have been nice, maybe he intuitivly knew his time was looming-he even said instructions on what to do with his body and said " if anything happens to me Coop, know that i loved you and sis, i know you would be alright cause you got my nieces and nephew and my son. He also said when i asked him to move closer, "I'm in God's country T, it is what it is, i did all i can do, sometimes its too late to start over...i'm ok...just let my Sons, nephew, sis know that i love them..keep an eye on my son and nephew... and get your book out, you are gonna effect so many lives T!" those where his last words to me, which I plan to stick by! When I am down, I often think of those words and they linger on my ears, causing me to take action to help those in foster care!! R.I.P lil brother!!xo

you are blessed each day you wake, i lost another friend R.I.P  KB......be thankful each day you rise, choose to make it a good day not only for you, but for all you come in contact with and utilize their memories to motivate you to action to help make the world a little better..with you first! xo Tanya

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