Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Talk Radio

Matter of Fact Monday 05/14 by tlbethel | Blog Talk Radio Tanya on Radio!! see you Friday May 18th in Mount Kisco Public Library!! 2-4pm

Happy Mothers Day!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU ALL - DO BETTER THAN YOUR MOTHERS, MOTHERS, MOTHERS BY UPLIFTING AND ADVANCING THE NEXT GENERATION!
IF YOUR KIDS CAN'T DO BETTER THAN YOU, WHY DID WE HAVE THEM? EDUCATE YOUR KIDS, LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONAL, NEVER CHECK OUT ON THEM BY TURNING TO DRUGS, CHECK IN ON THEM WITH LOVE, COMPASSION AND PRAYER, AND HOPE FOR A BETTER, BRIGHTER FUTURE!! XO

TANYA

some out an celebrate National Foster care awareness month with Fosterkidsunite!! RSVP....if you know any youth aging out and going to college email me for an application for our Robert Cooper Memorial stipend!!
Fosterkidsunite tries to address issues raised AFTER foster care, an unforgotten community. Please come celebrate if your in NY, show your love for those that help and are being honored!

Have a great day, "smile, you may save or change a life" - Tanya

Taking action when the odds seem low!

Hi blog family!

* Reminder* May is National Foster Care Awareness month - Fosterkidsunite will be having our Robert Cooper memorial scholorship award ceremony at the Mount Kisco Library May 18th 2-4 2nd fl conference room!
( RSVP) You don't want to miss it, this is a time we find those aging out and off to school and award them with a stipend for their hard work and their future journey in life without major family support! If you know anyone in NY that is ageing out and could use money for books, transportation or toward tuition, please send me their email and I will forward an application!

Hope you are all enjoying the lovely weather by getting OUTSIDE, walking, biking, enjoying this lovely earth!

I know as a former foster child that at times when you are trying to keep your head above water; (work two jobs, smile- even when your not happy, be kind, feel family love, (when their is no mom to give a hug), just basic life skills of "making it" one day at a time - can be a challenge!
Why?
 If you grew up in group homes all of your life OR lived in foster homes who had parents that were more like gatekeepers than caregivers...lol..(some of you know what I am saying)... all of these can make it a daily struggle.
What I want you to do: 
1. always remain hopeful - ("we never give up!) :)
2. Focus on what you DO have and CAN do: (good friends, good mate, job, the fact that YOU are breathing, (and not on life support - if your reading this), the fact that YOU are here, (we all know with our former parents who were addicts, WE COULD HAVE DIED before we got to care; via abuse, neglect or your mom could of said let me not have this baby!!! I know its harsh but - don't ever forget that YOU are Alive!!
We often fall into pity parties" and forget that we are living - that means everything!! it means a new start every day you wake!
It means you can forgive (OR be forgiven) for the crazy mistake you made yesterday!!!
It means you can start over!! Do you know what that means in a world without parents??? Start over is everything!
When you age out (or those that did), don't be sad, be happy that now you can live your life how YOU see fit!
But it takes hard work!
Effort,
resistance and....
persistence!!
You Have to always be ready to take action - even when the odds are low! (w
You and I were born to beat the odds, in fact, as long as you are alive, breathing and with sound mind, chances/odds is our biggest weapon in the fight for a good, quality life after foster care!!!
Get excited every time you wake in the morning - even if its raining, even if you woke up to negative energy---only you can control how you "feel" - their is NO excuse for staying down- as a former foster child i am constantly falling.....and getting back up! There is nothing wrong with you if you experience sad feeling occasionally! There is nothing wrong" if you feel lonely-- even in a room full of people!
There is nothing wrong" with having the odds" "appearing" against you- remember you grew up in foster care NOTHING can shake you!
 How many people could survive AND be happy after losing parents at a young age or being separated from your sibling?
As human beings, we are more resilient than we think! Think of what you ancestors went through and still made it our alive AND produced many more generations!!!!

You are a winner - always know this, in fact- never allow anyone at anytime to tell you otherwise!
We must stay strong when the odds seem low--especially after foster care by: educating yourself, traveling the world when you can, helping others (it teaches humility), meditating/quiet time to listen what the universe or God is telling you!

You have a heart, follow it, nurture it, even if that means finding GOOD things to fill the void of not having family or a loving" mom/parent... find good friends/mates, love others more by giving your time to the needy....trust me it takes the spotlight off of "YOUR" problem! (remember everyone hurts sometime!!!!
Life is wonderful, full of surprises - don't give up at the first sign of trouble!
 
Dont forget, when the odds are against you:
Raise your head high and strut down the runway of life...all eyes on the winner-YOU!!!!

Have a great day and remember to smile, someone is watching you!!! You may save or change a life!! xo Tanya

keeping your eye on the prize

Hi blog family!
Thank you ALL who have visited this site!! We are growing, which means the word is getting out, a blog foster and ex foster kids can go to ....please ask any questions, I will find an answer if i don't have one!!

alot going on...including the usual life drama...always to be continued! lol...

Fosterkidsunite, what is the point of this blog? Why do we give stipends to kids aging out of foster care?
Because this is what I was called to do!!!
 I am blogging in response to a "naysayer", (they have no idea they was negative but I am sharing so that you learn a lesson on sticking to your guns!! ( thoughts, ideas, plans....not an actual gun...lol (i don't like those things and they kill people so please know i am NOT talking about a weapon! lol... follow me...

Today I am Keeping my eye on the prize...why am I hear, what is my purpose?? TO HELP OTHER FOSTER KIDS!!! I am clear about this.
I realized I don't have to be a celebrity or have money, I have to have heart, will and take action....and I am doing the later!
Recently I went to ask someone in great authority/position to help me, they basically said my ideas were great, ( I didn't need them to tell me that..i needed their model for success on helping others..), but they said: "no one would take me serious or give money without the 501c3 yet!"

At that point I lost all of my respect for this person because I thought they were a visionary" a leader" but I realize....they are just another clone in society who feels that only "known" people or those with "Money" can make a difference.

I thought to myself, if money could solve problems vs ideas, a few good people and action, then why is Africa still starving?
why is Katrina victims still displaced,
why are people still homeless,.. because we have, "money" in place to help them???

 I hope you get my point--money is needed, is great BUT without the PERSON to volunteer or take time, money means nothing!!

I want to see change, one kid at a time!
 It may  seem slow but at least I will see the results and NOT a statistic!! I want to know how that "kid" that aged out is doing in 15 years..after he left...no what 350,000 kids on paper are "doing"!!!! follow me....
We as people need to get up get out and do something for a cause we believe in, nothing will change until WE do!! Stats mean NOTHING unless YOU SEE and know results, you can only know if you follow through adulthood, everything else....is a guess...

As you may know May is National Foster Care Awareness month--deemed by our president as a time to raise awareness, in your way, in your community about the issues of foster care!

This will be our 2nd event at the Mount Kisco Public Library May 18th 2-4 2nd floor conference room. 
Please RSVP!! (the room only holds 100!)  and last year, it was filled!!

We will be honoring people working with foster kids and a few young people aging out and going to school will be awarded a stipend to help them through the first semester!
We hope each winner will not care about the money but the fact that someone is thinking of them, following them through school and teaching them they must PAY IT FORWARD!!
We can only help each other by sharing what we know, then passing it on.
There are times when you will be tested on how much you believe in you or your ideas and faith...I say... keep your eye on the prize...aging out gracefully and with a future plan--even if its not exactly what you envisioned, its a plan!
I was told the other day after sharing that i was doing this event and will make NO money, (all food, items for event are donated) but i was still asked by a person: "why are you doing it if your not getting anything out of it"?  I was stunned but I know that MOST people are not awake and everyone wants to keep up with the Jones" - but not only was I not raised like that by my foster mother but I take on this work because SOMEBODY has too!!
And who better than I who lived through foster care? Life still is not perfect, (it never will be or I would be in "heaven" lol..) I know that 30,000 kids leaving a year and around 9,000 in care in my area....I can only help a few...but I'M OK with that!!
Don't allow negative or money hungry people into your head to make you think that your wrong for not wanting money for doing something you love!
We are still working on the 501c3 but that will not deter me from helping 4 kids a year, only health or death could stop me now.
 I know what a difference ONE person can make in the life of a foster kid who has NO FAMILY- I would NOT have made it through NYU without the help of a lovely lady, (R.I.P Mrs. Bauer)! So the point for today is to stay focused on what is right for YOU, stay true to what YOU believe, even if its not aligned with others, as long as its right, ethical, and will help you to help others...

life is short, when I leave there is only one song I could hear in my head: "If I can help somebody, as I travel along, then my living will not be in vain".. (writer unknown)... this is my favorite gospel hymn and my fav song since i came into foster care. I try not to let naysayers effect me, but i am human. Please know that I care about every foster child and I will do what i can, with what little I have to assure a few " get it" before they leave care! This is my mission with Fosterkidsunite, I hope your in!

Have a great day, smile, someone is watching you - you may make their day!! xo Tanya

May 18th celebration reminder

Hi blog family!
Reminder - May 18th 2-4 at the Mount Kisco Library Fosterkidsunite will be having our annual "Robert Cooper Memorial Scholorship award ceremony!!  Please RSVP if you plan to attend! We will also be honoring two great people from Westchester who do alot of work with group home kids!! I will also be sharing information on fostering and how to help our kids in care!!

Have a great day ...smile, someone is watching you....xo Tanya

Words from Tony Robbins on Own...

Hi blog family!
I like to give credit when do AND if someone else can say something to save or change your life........I let them speak and share what they say!
Tony Robbins is a brilliant man who gets "how to live and enjoy life".... I got this from Oprah's own, (forgive me O) lol... but good stuff must be shared!!! enjoy!!

The life coach and host of Breakthrough with Tony Robbins believes in living a passionate life, a life in which fear is a counselor, not a jailer. Here, he shows us how to "step up" during our most intimidating moments:

1. Don't Turn an Excuse into an Identity
We need be careful of how we label ourselves, for example, saying "I'm an fearful person" or "I'm a weak person" or "I'm not a strong person." Usually that label comes from your current or past behavior, but once the label becomes a part of you, it starts to control you. So what I try to get people to understand is: Hey, you're not broken. You don't need to be fixed. You don't need a label. All you need to do is say, "I have to decide how I want to be now going forward."

2. Develop a Habit 
Courage is not the absence of fear. That idea is the biggest b.s. in the world. Fear is impossible to eradicate. If you were completely fearless, you'd be dead. People who are courageous are scared to the core—they just make themselves go forward anyway; they make themselves take some kind of action. Taking action, even though you're afraid, is how you become courageous—because courage, like fear, is a habit. The more you do it, the more you do it, and this habit—of stepping up, of taking action—more than anything else, will move you in a different direction.

3. Let Your Body Lead the Way 
Taking that action for the first time can be pretty rough. When it comes time to give the speech to the committee or snowboard down the mountain, don't hesitate. Don't start to analyze it. The longer you stand there, the harder it gets, because then your mind gets involved. If your challenge is mental, use your body. If it's in the body, use your body more aggressively. At 17 years old, I was on my own, sleeping in a laundry room. I had no idea what to do. I was so depressed. Fear is physically debilitating. I had to defeat it. So I made myself run until I thought I was going to spit up blood. I got stronger in my body, which, in turn gave me mental strength. 

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Tony-Robbins-How-to-Live-Courageously#ixzz1qqF2l66z

May is coming!

Hi blog family!

Yes, I was away because my computer was not working!!  I am back!! lol... hope you are all well!
Just letting you know,

left side is my brother Rob... :) nice smile right...it got us thru foster care...and he was the cutest kid, (along with my other baby brother that i am searching for (Mark)...who should now be around 42 yrs old.. (hint ...he grew up in Elmsford, NY!!)...less than 15 miles from us!!! :( still will not stop searching....the Internet is great!!!

back to the point...... (lol)
save the date: May 18th 2-4 
Place:  Mount Kisco Library, (conference room 2nd fl).. (RSVP)


if you are aging out of foster care in NY and going to trade school or college, please give me your email so i can send you the application!!!! 


Attitude is everything, we want you to apply or tell kids to apply that are aging out in June!!! My brother believed everyone deserves a chance and not everyone is an "A" student....we agree so as long as they got into a school (trade or college), you can have them apply (this is to all the social workers, counselors)...lol...
Fosterkidsunite, will be having its 2nd annual "Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship" awards ceremony!!  We are still trying to surpass our goal from last year, with the help of Robs friends, we hope to raise enough to award more than 4 aging out this year!!!!
Aside from giving a few young people a stipend for college or trade school, we will also be honoring a Rev from one of the largest residences and a Boys and Girls Club Director, both of whom have done major work with foster and group home kids!
We are hoping to raise awareness on the state of foster kids and how you can help as a community! May is National Foster care awareness month!

Thought for the day: Never allow anyone to steal your joy, be that your smile, your kindness, your patience or your understanding - life is meant to be joyful, loving and prosperous and you should live your life surrounding these principles- even on a day when someone attempts to ruin it!
Remember life is short but that's OK if you enjoyed it and did all you could to be the best you!

smile, someone is watching you....and do all YOU can while YOU can....with WHAT resources YOU have!!!
:) xo
T

surviving foster care & making it work for you book for $4.99

Hi blog family! Save the date may 19th fosterkidsunite will
Be celebrating national foster care awareness month again by awarding
Youth leaving foster care with the Robert cooper memorial Scholorship in mount Kisco, ny!!

When u have a life experience- share it with others!
You can get a copy of Surviving Foster Care and Making it work for you! at www.createspace.com/3587372
$4.99 not a bad price to save or change a life! xo

Tanya

thankful for another year

Hi blog family!

Tomorrow- Feb 9th..... is another year I made it!
When I think of my circumstance;
1. my mom being an addict/alcoholic
2. being abandoned
3. growing up in foster care, being abused at a young age - WOW!

Like myself, many of you have went through or are going through the same challenges.
I want you to always remember God will never let you down, as long as you can celebrate a birthday every year- DO it! Life is precious.

We could have been the ; The "lisa Steinberghs", the kids drowned by there own mother when she put their car in the water with her kids, we could have been aborted, and most important, we could have NOT BEEN HERE!!!
Every day you wake, you should jump out of bed early, happy and ready to face ANY challenges life puts before you because you know If you are alive to tell YOUR story, You are a success!!
Don't EVER give up!
God has many plans fr you if you keep faith, even in the darkest moments.
Always remember your ancestors who survived slavery, holocaust, potato famine etc... how did they do it? Perseverance, positive, love of self, knowing they had a right like anyone else! adopt this attitude!
I want you to never say you hate your birthday (like I use to because i never got what I wanted or no one ever remembered :(
 Its YOUR birthday -
 go out and make it special!
 help someone else in foster care, be a role model....

Thanks to all you blog readers, almost 11,000!!!! wow!
Remember May 19th Fosterkidsunite will be doing another event in Mt. Kisco for foster kids.

anyone living in NY that can attend the event can apply for the Robert Cooper Memorial Scholarship, social workers you may know a foster kid leaving/aging out going to trade school or college, please send me your email and I will send application.

Have a great day and smile, you may save or change a life!!! xo Tanya
ps. computer screen is acting up forgive any typos!!
Always available to speak to your group home or foster kids/parents