someone tried to steal my joy...

Hi blog family:
another day has come and gone and life is good if you are amongst the living... I will be short today.

Sometimes life is going great, even in the mist of chaos and your at your job and some person decides to try and test your happiness.
 I had a guy that was so rude, i cried!!
My boss said the guy was a jerk, as she had witnessed him trying to talk down to me, but i cried like a baby...not because of what he said but because he actually wanted to hurt someone's feelings and did! I instantly saw how there are people who do this all day...make others miserable!!
I know, i should not have let him steal my joy but do you ever get tired of getting up every morning cranking out a smile and kind word for everyone who will listen, even when your in pain, and then some rude person kills the moment? They look for an interior motive for my happiness, it's LIFE!!!!I am breathing, thinking, loving etc...
I don't know why i am so happy, i just know i put on a happy face 95% because i may change one person's day for the better.
 Can a person be too happy? I am searching for answers but only come up with; alot of people are miserable and don't want to see you happy if they are not...
 I could be wrong but if I could tell you how many people ask me why am I so happy a day....I don't understand i thought people were soppose to be happy and since happiness is contagious, i want to spread it like wild fire!
Well i see nothing wrong with being friendly or smiling and i will continue to do so,  without a major motive,
I can't imagine getting out of bed any other way...after years of being sad, i decided happy is better!
LIfe is too short and I want to be happy here and be known as a happy person who enjoyed life, when i am gone....is anything wrong with that? I think not...smile and be kind to someone today, you may save a life...
you are loved and needed, Tanya

when the world is chaotic, listen with silence..

 hello again.

 I had a great day.

 Looking out my window now, the snow is beautiful! At work

 There were lots of people, chaotic, lots of talking, music, sirens. 

At times i could find myself struggeling to hear my own voice. 

 Often we find ourselves in situations where life is very busy: you must pay bills, talk on the phone, 

face book, email, feed yourself or your family,  clean, 

and when do you have time to hear your answers? 

Unless you take time out for yourself, i am sure it is rare. 

I set aside 45 minutes on sundays but you can listen in 15 minutes if that's all the time you can spare. 

I just want you to remember you spent most of your life doing for others or doing because you had no choice, now is your time and you can do whatever you will IF you listen to yourself. 

THat means sitting in complete silence for a certain amount of time each day, pondering what is good or bad, what needs to be done, what can wait.

 Know that you are always in charge of your life, therefore you must make time for YOU! 

THe world will go on if you ignore it,  and think of your self just for a moment to get your clarity. After doing this for months or years it will become 2nd nature and you will make others honor you silent time. 

God and the universe are always talking to us, telling us, leading us, bur rarely do we listen, we are much too busy. 

When the world is chaotic you can still find peace and calm, in silence....

you are loved, special and much needed, xo Tanya

Self Doubt comes creeping back in....

Pst....over here...feelin kinda low?

Has self doubt found its way back into your life? Just when you thought you had it all under control!

There are times in an ex fosterkids life, or heck anyone's life these days, when self doubt comes back to haunt you. 

How could this happen, I planned carefully, I have food, shelter, LOVE, or so I thought i did!

What happend to a sure future? There really isn't one these days. The economy is a mess, no one can find jobs, even with a college degree and contacts, and frankly no one looks out for anyone anymore!

I realized you have to constantly reinforce your confidence, like every hour, or you could slide down the slippery slope of human doom and gloom!

I was so happy the other day, started thinking of my brother and what life would be like if he were still here....I decided nothing would change.  Self doubt crept in...."I have no family" a voice said to me. Then comes the tears and the what's the point thoughts, then came a thought:

Sometimes we are dealt awful family, career or life  choices, but we have to make the best of them.

 My brother was my only link to "family" everyone else has unofficially adopted me to an extent. 

I have long wished for a family that is close and always together, i see now i will have to marry a guy who has a large family and is very dedicated to his family.

 I thought because my brother is gone i have no one, but I have my two girls, even though one is off on her own and rarely swings in, (she hates the burbs)... But I will keep hope alive and tell the doubt to: shut up, I have no time for you! 

I knew what i was in for being a foster kid...no family... loneliness in a crowd: having two kids helped but i am still missing uncles, grandma, aunts, etc...

for now i will have to keep reminding myself of my purpose, to help other foster kids.

 It took years for me to get here, without medication and with lots of help and angels!

 I know i was one out of hundreds who made it with their minds in tac. 

Self doubt is just a human factor- 

it can be worse if your parents gave you up or you have no family.

 Family

 usually is the one who comes to your rescue when you cannot paddle the boat of life anymore, 

they throw you a life preserve 

or you hold on to the side of their boat until the storm passes. 

Without family you have to create your own life preserve, 

I tend to call on my guardian angels daily! 

I ask them to protect me from the evils of this world,

 I tell them to make me feel i am always loved though someone or something,

 I ask them to keep me away from danger and guide me toward love and kindness, 

lastly i listen to them tell me daily: You Are loved, special and with purpose, and then i know i can go on without doubt!

by: Tanya C

This is for all of those who grew up in foster care or may be there now, keep self doubt out and know that you are loved, we all have doubts, just don't let it linger...xo

you are loved, special and blessed, be kind to someone this week, especially a kid!