aged out?

Hi blog family!

Hope you are all well! Beautiful day out again, go out and enjoy it - get your 45 minutes of exercise everyday!!
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On a sad note I have been talking to kids who just aged out of foster care less than 6 months ago, already, they are heading in shady areas. Sometimes you graduate and get to college but you get there and realize - you are not motivated! Why? because you are normal! Don't get discouraged if you leave and get into college and it does NOT work out on easy street! It may take you a while to figure out what you are great at and what YOU can do, not what your parent, sibling, friend or agency wants you to do or what's the easiest!

Step back if this happens to you
Pull your resources togeather for a team meeting- yes, contact your former agency and ASK if they can do a team meeting to see how they can assist you!

Remember: YOU ARE not A FAILURE in any way!!!!! This is called.......LIFE!! It happens to us all!! question is what are you going to do next?

and if you are fortunate enough to go back home, DONOT allow your family stress to stress you out - you are not a babysitter, caregiver, your job is to be independent and IF you go back home your parent should not be relying on you to bring home the bacon. It is fair to give your parent some of your earnings but if its all, you need to find transitional housing or a room like the YMCA to rent - so you can save until you figure it out...

NEVER give in or give up - success is only a mile away!!
you are loved, needed and blessed to be alive!! smile, somenone may be watching you!!! xo
Tanya

Hi blog family!

words for the day: Always move forward, rarely look back and don't ever stop achieving for greatness, love and to help others!

xo Tanya

where would we be without you?

Hi blog family!

ask yourself:
Where would this world be without you? Someone would be less, could see less, could be gone, had you not come along.....the next time you think of hurting yourself or giving up, hold on, hold out, we need you!!
Smile, someone is watching you - you may save or change a life!! lol...

Tanya

To Be Heard | A Documentary

this is a must see!

life is not always roses...but you can still grow to be a flower!!

To Be Heard | A Documentary

the message is delivered!

Hi blog family!
I spoke in Syracuse yesterday! They have an amazing team to work with foster kids and parents!! You are in good hands, always take the  help being offered, you can always go back and help someone else!!
I am inspired by the foster youth I spoke to yesterday! They were smart, witty, loving, charming, funny and ready to face life head on with a smile! Thank you for letting me share my story, go out and help others just coming in!! Here is some word of advice.....

No matter what we go thru in life, it can make you stronger, if you stay focued, believe in God or higher power and know that we are all just energy and all things....all things are changing, good bad, etc... in form every second...hold out when hard time comes, pray hard but keep your head high, you are highly blessed and favored!!! We need you in this life to help others, without you someone may not have a great day!!!

Every day you wake - should be a good day, for many will not make it; suicide, depression, murder, death, all very real but YOU are still here! Be grateful for your life. YOur parents are only a vehicle to get you here sometimes- accept it and use it to your advantage!!
Who can you utilize today to help your life go foward after foster care?
1. yourself- trust your instincts
be true to you, love you!
2. friends, counselors: did u make a connection with someone in care, a neighbor, counselor, someone who always had your back - without expecting something other than you doing your best?
3. Faith: know that God and the universe has no "mistakes" he knows you are resilant and able to adjust to anything this life has to offer, so offer YOUR best, even in hard times, help others and love you!
Know that we are all here for Diving purpose, find yours, help others find theirs and live and honest life, stress free by planning your future now....
Remember when hard times hit: NOTHING LAST FOREVER!!! but tuff people, they last thru anything life throws them!!!
Lastly: "WE NEVER GIVE UP!!! failing is not an option you are the best creation in this life,  go getem!!! xoxo Tanya
ps. smile, someone is watching you, you may change or save a life!! :)

speaking today!

Hi blog family!
Yes, my computer is down! but that will not stop me! I have a story to deliver to foster parents today and foster kids tommorrow - nothing will stop me from helping change or save a life!!

Have a blessed day, be kind to everyone you meet!!! xo
Tanya

kindness

Hi blog family!!
Being kind is what I would like for us to think about today! To everyone you meet! Yes, even the.... meany...lol...
Kindness is learned as a young child and if you did not have parents or someone to teach you, you could come off as selfish and it may be just BUT it is no excuse to treat another person bad! Always use good manners and kindness, it only brings positive to your life!

When someone is being mean or ill spirited, it is because they started off on a negative!! Perhaps they are just a negative force - that is not your problem- you want to have a good experience when you cross someone's path, you can't do that by being mean! You catch more fly's with honey" they say....lol..

You can help make it a great day: by remaining positive and loving, even when its hard due to life circumstances OR when the person you deal with is not positive! I tend to avoid negative people at all cost - its contagious!!! lol... Smile, the world is watching you, needs you and you are loved!!!

Have a GREAT day, by being kind and loving to all you meet, you may save or change a life!! xo
Tanya

Happy New Year!!

Hi blog family!

Happy New Year to all my blog readers!!!! We did it! Another year! WOW!

So you made it into a new year!!
 Congratulations for staying strong and NEVER giving up!!

 Now is the time for you to reassess what YOU need to do NOW to make THIS year BETTER than last and more productive!! 
Take that singing class, write your first poem or script, record that album, start your new business, find your new mate or friends,
find your talent and gifts - and let them guide you to your greatness!!!!

xo
Tanya

what if you were not born?

Hi blog family! I OFTEN LIKE TO SIT BY THIS LAKE AND REFLECT ON ALL THE GOOD TIMES I HAD WITH MY BABY BROTHER ROB....ENJOY..

I have been VERY busy! I hope your holiday was wonderful, filled with  love, helping others...and then presents!! lol..

I , like many of you, have been challenge this year on many issues:
 fiance,
No love", "lack of" family,
challenged birth family, (lol)
 the law,....got a ticket.....or
 legal rulings that just are not fair
 or my and the latest; being hit in my car as we sat at a red light, by a drunk driver who only got a ticket- even though her kid was in the car!! And she hit someone else less than 2 hours later in the back...at a red light.....
 speaking of unfair!
BUT that is NOT why i write today, I write
to encourage you! We all have the same problems or issues!

When life seems unfair, silly, mean and you think you want to give up - DON"T!!!
WHY?
because you have divine purpose like anyone else: the judge who made a poor decision based on what you know is baloney, the cop who hit you,,..based on a receptionist screaming because you did something simple....like said a curse word in a joke to your friend online....
 like the teacher who gave you a C...even though you knew it was an A paper,
like the person that said you would never be anything because you were a foster kid....and now you have a master's!! lol... Life is amazing and YOU belong here as much as anyone! Never give up fighting for your freedom of speech, (try to say something meaningful lol...), your integrity or your honor!!
Always picture the world without you: (if your "lacking money, relationships...that is not important)..
what would your little brother, sister or friend have done without YOU in there lives???
 don't be selfish, SOMEONE in this world needs you,
 it may be only for a moment or a life time
but YOU are needed! Never think of hurting yourself or anyone else -
you are needed without restrictions...lol...not in jail (where u are still needed but dang , you will have limitations)  and besides, God and the universe did not make you to sit idle (do nothing/be nothing) You are here to save or change a life with your gift...find out what that is....WHAT IF YOU WERE NOT BORN? thank the universe/God that you were, now the world may be better because of you! how thoughtful that your parents may not have been able to care for you BUT they let you live!!!! AMAZING!! MY MOM WAS AN ADDICT, I COMMEND HER FOR KNOWING SHE COULD NOT RAISE ME!! MANY WOULD BE DEAD OR WORSE OFF WITHOUT MY BIRTH!! THIS IS HOW YOU HAVE TO VIEW IT, EVEN IN HARD TIME!!!

.for the new year,  I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU!!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! THE THOUGHT FOR THE NEW YEAR....HOW TO BUILD A BIGGER, BETTER STRONGER ME!! XO TANYA

Holiday blues..how to not lose YOUR mind when life is crazy!

R.I.P little brother!

Hi blog family! After two years I am still missing my brother! The pain gets less but I imagine it will never sink in that he is gone so young! Forgive me for not writing, as I am facing many challenges!
Yes,
it has been a while but life and all its curve balls has been calling me!

I am older and wiser but i still have my days when one error could effect me.
There are days when life can be challenging without family and I want you to know it is NOT your imagination - life is ruff - especially without a family!

Even at my age, I still long for a family. I still hope to be adopted one day-- yes, even over 40!!

 It is a human factor to want to  be loved and to be part of a family unit....this never goes "away"- you only learn to live with  the feeling and talk yourself through it daily! lol....hey if you made it this far without family, you can learn to love you enough and surround yourself around people who love and honor you like family!

On another note
the holidays are hear.
This is the highest times for suicide and loneliness.
*Even people with family who may have had conflict, wish they could be home with love ones*

.... I want you to know that even when you feel lonely and the world is against you God will always be by your side, all you have to do is BELIEVE tomorrow will be better than today!
Faith of a muster seed!
I know some of you may have been in group homes all of your life, some may have been in dysfunctional homes but YOU are the master of your destiny by keeping faith and coming up with an alternative plan! Whatever the plan, failure is not an option, giving up is not on the list!!! God did not design you to "give up"!!!

Don't ever be so discouraged that you don't realize YOU ARE IT! 
Don't ever hurt YOURSELF or ANYONE, life is too short and we ALL have divine purpose, so don't take away another's purpose, they may be the one who saved or changed a life!
 Your the reason the stars shine at night
the reason your brother, 
sister, lover, 
friend, family,
 stranger, 
has a smile on their face. 
You are the reason someone is alive today! 
Don't ever forget your ancestors died to make sure you ENJOY this life NOW, today!!!!
I know the holidays are here and it can be sad if you have no one around, I am lucky to have my two kids. I decided to make the holidays a day to go feed the homeless and then enjoy a nice dinner. This year may be all you can do to get out of your funk--HELP OTHERS...help at a food bank for the day!! Trust me you will feel better and be inspired!


Bills may be piling up, your lover gone, the news may be violent, everyone wants to keep up with the Joneses and no one has faith anymore- but you- YOU are the ONE that will change or save a life!
Stay positive, focused and keep anger out of your life, ask God to give you peace, acceptance, and constant change and growth so that you may be of service to others. You are so wonderful have a blessed week and know God is with you at ALL times, even at your darkest hour - have faith and take action to create change! xo Tanya

save the date May 19th....Fosterkidsunite will be awarding The Robert Cooper Memorial scholarship to kids aging out of foster care! Location: Mt. Kisco/NY time:TBA  all foster kids, former foster kids, community residents and any other who love to help others are invited to join in, more to come!!