Happy Holidays blog family!!!

As they approach and in wake of the Sandy Hook school victims, please be mindful - we all need LOVE...not teasing or being left out! If you see someone being bullied tell a teacher if you cant stop it, tell the parent, or just pull the kid to the side when you get a chance and are alone, and let them know its OK and they could get help if needed. 

I know, no one wakes up saying "i will be a killer or violent"...it is hatred manifested for years and NO intervention from parents, neighbors, teachers or friends...You can help prevent future events and suicides by being mindful of ALL people you come in contact with: 
this is why my motto is: 
"SMILE, be kind, you may save or change a life one day"! You have a great light within, let all see it...be kind to people at ALL times, evil can never win that way!! 

For the holidays: be with your family, if u have none or minimal like me, be with your friends - this is why I say choose good friends who LOVE you and don't want you in trouble, debt, on drugs, hurting yourself or others  or jail!!! 
LOVE LOVE LOVE...let your inner light shine not only for the holiday - everyday!! YOU are a LIFESAVER and LIFE CHANGER - Go out into this world and spread love for the holidays.....and if you have NO family and NO friends....sign up at a local shelter ...help feed the homeless!! giving is the best gift you can give!! xoxox

T

Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

my daughter...Talent show surprise! Tati S.C.

Hi Blog family!!

Happy Turkey Day!! I hope You will NOT be alone and find a friend's to go to!! In my foster family there was always at least 12 people in our house for turkey day!! I am so excited to be visiting my friend and her husbands and their lovely kids!! 

It was hard when I aged out and did not have a family to go back to, (i actually had the option but read my book "surviving foster care & making it work for you Amazon.com to see why i never went back home after therapy).

Holidays after I aged out were sometimes with my brother that passed, my girls...and food... there were times when I did not celebrate but now I know I make my own holiday cheer!!!

I am excited for tomorrow because this will bring back the good memories in my foster home, when you had to find a spot to eat... when you had to finish getting dressed for school first to play a game of checker with mom before school! When you could choose which sibling you wanted to play with...war, army, barbies...(not...i had to ask my neighbor who was a girl!!)...a house with lots of kids has its advantage.....always someone there!! 

Please enjoy your holiday and those who have family open your home to a friend that does not have anyone, this is a very lonely time for most.
Suicide rates are very high, drug use and many people without family, hope or love may look for an escape - let them escape to your home filled with love, warmth and lots of Merry!!!

After the Sandy incident....we should be grateful for everything we have and if you don't you should be figuring out how to get what you need or want to be happy and productive! You only have one life- enjoy, share, love, live and pass it on...xoxox

Tanya

Hi blog family!

holidays are approaching...BEWARE...send love to others, open your home for the holidays to friends you know WHO DO NOT HAVE FAMILY!
Holidays are a high suicide time rate...especially those without family or lonely....try to extend yourself IF you trust the person in your home!!
Put a little love in your heart..."Al Green and Annie Lenox
think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand, put a little love in your heart and the world will be a better place, for you, and me, just wait and see!! YouTube this song!!

Today, be kind to all you meet AND if someone is mean, aloof or a jerk......SMILE..GOD LOVES THEM TOO!!! lol
xo
Tanya

Hi blog family!

Thanksgiving is approaching! Share your home for the holiday" if you can with another former foster child or a kid from the group home (that you know) that has NO family to go to on the holiday! I am trying to enact a place every year for kids in my area to go.

Remember Holidays are a high time for suicide! No one wants to be alone or be reminded that they have no family. I struggle with this daily. It has been hard because before I was sexually abused by my two foster brothers, (one deceased and one out of jail after serving 7 years for molesting a student and his niece..) We use to have great dinners together as family, holidays were fun BUT I was robbed of that and can never go and have dinner or be "social" with the one that is alive....because I value my sanity too much! I know I am not the only one who has an awkward situation, and I won't be the last!

I want you to find positive friends, and if they cherish you, they will invite you to their home in times like these. There are people who never went to foster care and was abused by family, and cannot go home for the holidays (in order to keep their sanity)...that is ok..If you are a true friend you will never judge them or try to get them to "get over it"...or go back and "hangout" with their abusers..No one should ever be violated or forced to hang out with a person that destroyed their childhood innocence!!
This is VERY important for my readers to know when it comes to why people you think" have family are not going home, (besides the basic 20 somethings who are too busy enjoying life to go home) :) there are those who left their family for a reason! Don't meddle in their business, unless they tell you, just understand and provide an alternative for the holidays!!
God made us all to love each other when we are down, who will you help for the holiday?? Bring food to the pantry, open your home to someone who has no family (if you trust them in your home):) (i am NOT saying invite someone displaying multiple personality's in your home or Charles Manson!!!)lol..
I am saying if you have a friend that never goes anywhere for the holiday....and he/she is NOT the Grinch...invite them to share and see how a family loves, respects and eat together on the holidays!!xo

have a great day - know that you are loved, special and needed in this world!!!

Tanya

Hi blog family!

I know - its been a while but u can catch me at fosterkidsunite blog!!

So The Penn State Coach has finally gotten what he deserved for hurting children- LIFE!! He has so many counts, he won't be able to count his way out of jail!!

I am praying for all the victims!!

I am covering this story to tell you one thing:

When someone is hurting you - TELL, TELL TELL!!!

Never keep a secret with ANYONE who is touching you in the wrong place, starring at you in a bad way or making you do things YOU know are not right... Abusers always say the will kill you' or kill your family....so far NONE of them have told the truth!!

They will do anything to keep you trusting them and doing what they want!!!

If you know someone who is hurting you in any way- tell someone like a teacher, counselor or police..they are mandated reporters and have to tell the proper authority's!!

I am the victim of a child abusers, they never got caught for my abuse but one did serve 7 years for molesting his 4 year old niece in law- who told when she was 11!!

 I am proud of her for telling, even though no one believed her until the police did, they even got a confession!! Now thanks to her many kids will not meet the fate of this awful monster!!

 The other abuser was killed violently...:)..sorry but he basically ruined my trust  life..and I was lucky to get an apology...(rare for victims)...I can forgive BUT never forget...one was a sexual predator on weaker younger kids, the other used me as a sex slave for years..and was an alcoholic!!

You must always tell so others won't get hurt and if they do...you did your part!

Never feel shame, it is not your fault

Never feel guilty, you did NOTHING wrong!!

Never keep a secret, secrets turn into addiction, homicide, suicide and self hurt...

YOU deserve to live a healthy loving, pain free life!!!  You are loved, special and needed!!!

xo

Tanya

from victim to victor!

Hi Blog family!!
Honoring a great Woman today!! I woke up saying what is on my heart and being thankful for great leaders!! (the ones I chose to model after)...

Inspiration Role model of the day:
Salute to Dr. Betty Shabazz;
Educator
 mother of 6
 Professor and wife of the Late Great Malcom X.
She was a woman of honor, charector and NEVER gave up - even when her husband was assasinated - leaving her to raise 6 girls alone in grief from her loss but no time to pity, only time to raise her girls and get her degree!! AMAZING strength!!

If you feel down for any reason, perhaps you have kids, your financially challenge..(we don't say broke')lol..
Maybe you are not doing what you love or what you are good at -
NO WORRIES!!
 think of Dr. Shabazz when you need inspiration and their is NO WAY you could continue your pity party!!
Wake up - and find a solution!!
Life is calling!
 If this wonderful leader, educator, mother could raise kids and educate others during hard times and death, why would you have an excuse!!
Lets focus on NOT making excuses but on raising ourselves to our highest human potential!!

Anthony Robbins says: "Success is doing what you love, when you love, with who you love" - reaching financial independence is the only way to enjoy your life!!! ANYONE can do it with an idea, dream, follow-thru and determination!!! below is something I wrote just for you, it was on my heart, so I share!

What are you doing with YOUR TODAY?
Are you owning it?
Honoring it as the only TODAY??
Are you doing all YOU can do to be the best you?
Thinking every waking moment of how to be better do better ...LIVE BETTER!
Never accepting what others "handed" you..from your parents down to experiences...
YOU can do better, live better and be better....TODAY!!

What are you doing for YOUR TODAY???

Know that YOU are the King/Queen of the universe and the world won't ever stop BUT it moves funny without your input!!!
BTW: go watch Beast of the Southern Wild...it will change your life and you see it and it does not... ...ask yourself if you really have a life of quality and how to get one!!
...lol..  Seriously.... Best movie EVER!!
Great Movie!!!

xo Tanya 

AT THE INTERSECTION OF LIFE????

We all come to the middle of the road at some point in life. Is it time to re-evaluate what you ARE and ARE NOT doing in your life?
Does it seem life is "unfair",
are your relationships dull?
Do you have friends that do no encourage or inspire you?
Are you jobless?
 Do you hate your job?
Are you lonely without any family?
Are you doing what you were born to do or have you not discovered what your gift is yet?

Life becomes complicated when WE add more than needed!
STOP whatever is annoying or hindering you!
HOW?
Wake up each day and be thankful for that day, that moment!!
DO some form of exercise....the body needs discipline and to be moving"...
Eat healthy...veggies...:)
Write down your goal for the day!!! To be happy ALL day, to make a painting, do homework, clean a room, find new friends by joining a gym, play a sport,..whatever, just write it down!!
Write down your 5 year goal...this will help you get out of a rut and see action once its on paper!!
Life throws us ALL curve balls....its how you catch them and return the ball that counts!!!
There is NO reason you cannot be the greatest at anything you WANT to do!!
You are a divine person, created to do wonderful things....
EVERYDAY you wake, you should be trying to do better, be better and LIVE better!!!
Go for the $...in a good way..you cant really live "BROKe''' I tried it, its not effective and you can't get to your level of comfort...without being financially stable!! (I tried.....fail....)
What is your talent, skill, special gift?? find a way to make it a business" that will earn you money!!!

have a great day xo

Tanya
my question to you is??
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Hi blog family!

It has been a while, life is happening...fast!! But I am eager to start every day new with a clear vision on the final goal!!

I was mentoring to a young lady last week that ran away from her kindred" foster home. I talked to her and told her why she needed to write out her goals, let the family know, as they were worried about her and WAS NOT going to just let her have her way!!
Sometimes we want to be grown at 18....and...were not!! I had to check myself back into foster care and if it was not for a modeling contract....I don't know if I would have been OK financially!!
Learn when YOU are NOT OK!! Learn how to coach yourself into SAFE situations!! This young lady had a "friend" that was going to "help her make $$$$....."URBAN Modeling"...GUYS and GIRLS I use to model for a few agency's...and a major one briefly....URBAN modeling as she called it is Bra's and Panties....A NO NO!!! This is not real modeling for a designer" this is for some sicko who is going to take advantage of you and have you doing drugs then working the streets!! DON'T EVER SELL YOURSELF FOR ANY MONEY!! NO MONEY CAN BRING BACK YOUR INNOCENCE AND LOVE OF LIFE!!! Learn to write out your goals and even if you crawl...one day at a time.....you can achieve ANYTHING!!
Remember you are from GOD and all things from his are perfect as they are YOU are it!! Go out and live life, enjoy, love and be loved!! xo

Tanya