getting back to the basics in a chaotic world

Hi blog family!!
these cupcakes look good right, especially the one on the left with all the "stuff"...news flash, the one on the right is just as good, if not better because it is basic, one less thing to worry about being fattening...keep reading..

It has been a while, lost 6 friends under 47 years old the last two months!! R.I.P: Tommy, Ann, Rob Jr., Dr. Engle, D's little sis, and Danielle....

Made me remember what is really important in this life and ask myself a series of questions:
 what am I really here for?
How can I grow after life in foster care?
 How can I help others in care?
If I died tomorrow, what legacy have I imprint have I left?

In a world full of chaos it is easy to get lost and become a "yes" person--even to the wrong people, places and things in life. It is easy to become a "worry wart"-especially after foster care!

The economy is out of whack, people have LOST their minds, (killing babies, wives, husbands for insurance, drug use, tax frauds like Madoff), the PEOPLE in the WORLD have "lost their minds so to speak!! WHY?
The are trying to KEEP UP with the "Jones"...instead of working with what they have!!

 What does this have to do with foster care, aging out?
When you left there were many issues you DID not have to face, many family topics, relationships, survival skills.
 I started this blog so that you could face those issues on your own, on your terms. So that you know, you are NOT in the twilight-you are in this world to learn lessons and move on.
You don't have time to worry about what Good or bad happened to so and so....Deal with (not worry) YOU! What issues do I need to face that keep coming up in my life after foster care?
What can I do to get help with my income/budget: (therapy, talk with a social worker, attend support groups?)
What will make ME a BETTER person that enjoys THIS life!
 Better to ALL mankind, better than my parents, what will lead me to the greatness I am?
These are the questions you should be asking yourself in this chaotic world.
NOT getting nervous or worried.
Whatever ground work you lay, it will be.
If you do not know how to save money....you may be broke!
If you do not know how to communicate with ALL people, you will have problems with your coworkers, boss and friends!
If you do not know what makes YOU happy and unhappy, you will stay miserable!
Learn what makes you tick, why you are unique, why you were put on this beautiful earth! There is divine purpose for EVERYONE...
Most important ...know the basics of life: survival of the fittest....
1.   keep your mind strong and sharp by reading, writing, exercising and meditating/praying for guidance, strength to always DO the RIGHT thing, even when others love the wrong! Don't follow these celebrity's, they are out for a buck and WILL not care if you go wrong...
2.   Love: find friends, a mate, someone to truly accept and love you for who you are. Love is amazing, it can be a great remedy for past pain! Learn to love you, if you don't know one else can!! You are the best invention since Swiss cheese!! lol...
 Love can also soften you up after years of not letting anyone near your heart..
3.   Learn to Lol...Laugh out loud...at yourself!!
who cares if you got it wrong..or didn't get it!.do it again tomorrow!!!
If you are not dead, you can start all over!!
This is the beauty of life, until its your time, you can do better the next day!!
Laughing cures the blues, I think it is the best medicine for depression or anger...throw on a Martin re-run CD and you will be laughing...
Nothing in life, is that serious and if it is, you can't change it so learn to breath and laugh!
4. Exercise, meditate (to keep your mind pure from all the garbage going in from fb, YouTube, friends, associates, negative people, TV...)..eat to live, not because there if food! When you shop ask yourself: was this in the garden of Eden?
You will save SO much on grocery bill AND be healthier eating more veggies and smaller portions of meat (if any)..
Your mind and your body have to be right if you want to keep away from the world chaos; pollution is there, bad people, situations WILL test you BUT if you keep your mind and body healthy....it will have less of an impact on YOU as a person.

Remember: When the building is built with a sound structure, nothing can tear it down!! Concentrate on the whole you and how to be better and more efficient! It should not matter what is going on in the next house, worry about how to sustain YOUR house!! Appreciage you and ALL you have (not what you don't have)..
Aging out of foster care is easy, just turn 18 or 21....like I said at my last speech, it is sustaining yourself IN the mist of a storm--- that will be your real test!! You were built for endurance, look at your ancestors!

You are a winner
You are kind
Gracious,
loving 
and NEEDED by this universe, go save or change a life with your smile today!
 xo Tanya

Forever Families Through Adoption, Inc. | Who We Are

Forever Families Through Adoption, Inc. | Who We Are

looking for you after foster care!

Hi blog family!

hope everyone is settled into school schedules! Stay focused on you and your kids, they are the future!

Topic for the day:
  looking for you!!!


After leaving foster care do you feel you are always looking for help or someone to "change or save your day?
Don't sweat it,  allot of people right now appear to be looking for a "savior or Hero" ....unfortunately.....only YOU can save YOURSELF!!
I had a friend that said she wants a boyfriend that can "help" her financially and mentally, she said she is tired of "being alone"...NOT me, I love MY time!! When the right mate comes along, I will know!! I am not sitting around waiting!
NEWS FLASH!!!
learn to love YOU, enjoy YOU, spend time with YOU and ENJOY IT!!!


If you just broke up with someone or have not had a date in a while....why can't you do something "proactive" when you feel this loneliness?

Go bowling,
walking,
 take a trip,
 go out with your girls or boys??
There is no reason you should be waiting for SOMEONE else to "save your day!! Prince charming is on vacation and Cinderella lost her shoe again!!!
When you grow up in foster care it is hard to learn to enjoy anything (because it may be taken away), must less you! I understand this BUT.....remember you are trying to live a quality life after foster care, this requires hard work, mentally and physically.
 Mentally you will always have to challenge yourself NOT to think like a foster kid; anxious, Nervous or worried about what's next...those days of wondering what will happen next.... are over,  (you can lol)...
your life is on YOU now and that is good when you know how to please YOU!!
Learn to take chances, get new friends that are DOER"S in life....not people who stand by and watch life pass them by!
Find a job that you can move up in....even if it means McDonald and working your way up to manager!!
Look for things new to do you were never able to do: take a vacation to Paris or California...whatever is thousands of miles away from the only place you know!
Get a book that tells you how to improve your life;; Anthony Robbins, The secret by Rhonda Byrne, Napoleon Hill...anything that helps improve you!!
I challenge you to start enjoying life NOW, don't wait till you get to "Heaven"...this is Heaven here on earth and YOU deserve ALL it has to offer but you must GO AFTER IT. 
Look for yourself, get to know YOU; 
what you like, what you CAN do NOW. Access what you need to change in YOUR life to be a better person...
Stop looking for others to "make your day", no man, woman or child will save you and make your life better, only YOU will!!
You are divine and should be doing the best, eating the best, living the best life and educating your mind enough to share what you do know with others in foster care! 
Best thing I learned about myself after foster care: 
You are your best and own Hero, go save your day!! 
You are blessed and loved,
xo
Tanya

Summer End

Hi blog family!

I am back! Power is restored and so am I!!!
I hope this has been a wonderful summer for all of you!
School is about to be back in session! This is good, keeps the kids busy with a goal...of finishing!! lol..
two thoughts today:

 If you are home an unemployed, ask yourself, what am I doing today, to make for a better year?

 If you have kids challenge them to always ask this question monthly, it is the only way to NOT become comfortable with  where you are at as a person in life. You always want to do bettter, be stronger, live longer and wiser than yesterday and you DON"T want to make the mistakes our parents made! (for those who were placed in foster care due to parents neglect, abuse abandonment etc..) We are trying to build a stronger next generation!
The greatest minds are ALWAYS growing, learning, thinking and Listening to advice that can help them become better people inside and out!
See what you or your kids may need to have a better year: find new postive friends, learn to accept motherly/friendly hugs, learn to think positive, learn NOT to worry, eat to live, start working out by walking, read more books, practice learning a language on youtube, sign up for peace or job corp to get out and travel and meet new people?
There are many things we all can be doing daily to stay learning. Remember life is a lesson and learning helps you grow as a person.
If you grew up in a group home without family structure, retrain your brain to do things different -  IF they did not work..
GETTING RID OF OLD DEFENSE MECHANISMS WE USED TO AVOID PAIN
for example moving around from place to place you may be GREAT at meeting people and adjusting to different homes, BUT you are able to drop people TOO easy...(an argument with a friend, instead of calling them you could wait forever and be fine with that--that was ok when you had to move around, I think its a defence mechanism we build up so that we wont be hurt someone is leaving again...
BUT in a good relationship (mate or friend) there will be awkward days and IF that friend or mate is worth it, you must take the step and repair it, or you will lose the friend or mate... We must re-learn how to get close to others, not be distant and trust that if they leave, life moves forward and its ok!!