This is a place where you can come for advice or a kind word. If you are in a group home, Foster care or had no family due to any circumstance, There are many things you may not have learned. I hope to motivate change in your life! If you have no family to inspire you on bad days, you may find something here to show you how to get out of your bubble and "take back your life! * These words are my opinions only and based on my 16 years in foster care! FosterKidsUniteInc@gmail.com
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Saturday, July 4, 2015
your first week in a group home or foster care?
Hi Blog family!
I have been caught up in whirlwind of life! I hope my college kids are enjoying summer. Congrats to my two ladies who got into grad school!! We are blessed that we gave 18 gift boxes this year! 6 Scholarships!! We are working on ideas for fundraisers.
I am repeating this video for my first time group home youth- pay attention! This is for you! Please share with ANY kid that is put into a new place without parents!
please email me if you have ANY questions, we are here for you and for those that work with youth, please have them read the blog, I only write to save or change a life!
I hope to update videos soon!
Stay well and keep peace in your life and a higher power! You are amazing and needed xo
Tanya
Thursday, June 4, 2015
where the dads at?
Hi blog family!
*first I would like to say R.I.P to Mrs. Mary Ellen McKee.
Since I came to my town at 7 years old, I remember the lady who always had kind words and positive things to say.
It is important to always smile when your around children, not just foster, you never know what impact your smile will have on that child.
Ms.. McKee had a great impact on me, teaching my brother and I tennis, being a mentor and a friend whom I respected like a grandmother, I salute you Ms. McKee and thank you for years of service helping all kids at St. Marks, Fox Lane and The Boys & Girls Club Of Northern Westchester!
May 21, 2015 event
Thank you to all those that made it possible for our foster youth to stay focused while seeking higher education!
The Reality of Aging Out panel was a success!
Thank you for your thoughts on our having Brandy Tulo-Lang Sacapanio, Donna Maddox and Tanya Cooper share personal experiences on the day they aged out and leaving our youth with hope and advice on how to aged out gracefully!
One of the audience members and I had a discussion on something missing when we talk of foster youth. Quite often when we hear of kids being confiscated from the home and put into foster care everyone ask where was mom? I ask, where was the dad? Why is the woman left holding the future, raising the future and if a life event happens, mother is held responsible.
I often wondered why my birth father never came to see me or claim me. I didn't think of him long, in fact it was only for a minute when I knew my other friends had a dad and at that time I didn't. I thought maybe the "stork" dropped me off and God was playing a trick on me. Surely someone would come and claim me? I never was claimed by mom or dad.
I was fortunate enough to have a dad as my mom met and married my foster father when I was around 9? (lol I would have to verify date with a foster brother). Mr. D was the only dad that claimed me as his daughter and I was ok with that as he was the best dad I could or would ever have!
I remember taking journeys on the back roads of Bedford, sneaking to get ice cream treats when I was good (which was most of the time).
While dad was not much for words he often told me how smart and beautiful I was and never allowed me to think otherwise. He never called me his "foster" daughter, just, my daughter. We had the best time visiting his sister in White Plains, she always had food waiting for us and plenty of room to run around her home!
I had a great respect for my dad but an even greater one after I had kids. I wondered how a man that had to take time to know my mom and her foster and adopted kids, found space in his heart to know and love us like his own and yet, my own dad never tried to find me or verify that I was his. Some of my birth cousins know him, so I know he knows I exist, besides my foster care records list him in writing as my dad. I was looking for A. Evans from Long Island, but then recently I had a change of heart, why look for a man who never took time to look for me.
I had a dad, who loved me, never denied me and always made me feel special. Why not be ok with what I had, I was blessed to have him. A total stranger that claimed me, loved me and died telling me that he was proud of me, what more could a foster girl ask for?
When we think of kids in foster care and how they got there don't just think of the mother being on drugs, neglect & abandonment, think of the father who also helped make that child.
When you see a mother struggling and barely making it, also think of the father, who does not pay child support.
when you see a mother give up, not because she does not love her kids, because she has no love in her life and no support, think of the father.
Perhaps she made the wrong choice, perhaps she should have never gave up but remember she did give birth
perhaps men need to step up their game, especially when mom cant be a mother after doing the hardest part - GIVING BIRTH! I love my birth mom and I understand why she could not care for us and I respect her for allowing someone else to raise us with love, respect and honor.
Special shout to all the dads, single dads who have custody of their kids and are doing all they can to raise healthy kids-clearly this is not for you.
Smile, someone is watching you xo
T
*first I would like to say R.I.P to Mrs. Mary Ellen McKee.
Since I came to my town at 7 years old, I remember the lady who always had kind words and positive things to say.
It is important to always smile when your around children, not just foster, you never know what impact your smile will have on that child.
Ms.. McKee had a great impact on me, teaching my brother and I tennis, being a mentor and a friend whom I respected like a grandmother, I salute you Ms. McKee and thank you for years of service helping all kids at St. Marks, Fox Lane and The Boys & Girls Club Of Northern Westchester!
May 21, 2015 event
Thank you to all those that made it possible for our foster youth to stay focused while seeking higher education!
The Reality of Aging Out panel was a success!
Thank you for your thoughts on our having Brandy Tulo-Lang Sacapanio, Donna Maddox and Tanya Cooper share personal experiences on the day they aged out and leaving our youth with hope and advice on how to aged out gracefully!
One of the audience members and I had a discussion on something missing when we talk of foster youth. Quite often when we hear of kids being confiscated from the home and put into foster care everyone ask where was mom? I ask, where was the dad? Why is the woman left holding the future, raising the future and if a life event happens, mother is held responsible.
I often wondered why my birth father never came to see me or claim me. I didn't think of him long, in fact it was only for a minute when I knew my other friends had a dad and at that time I didn't. I thought maybe the "stork" dropped me off and God was playing a trick on me. Surely someone would come and claim me? I never was claimed by mom or dad.
I was fortunate enough to have a dad as my mom met and married my foster father when I was around 9? (lol I would have to verify date with a foster brother). Mr. D was the only dad that claimed me as his daughter and I was ok with that as he was the best dad I could or would ever have!
I remember taking journeys on the back roads of Bedford, sneaking to get ice cream treats when I was good (which was most of the time).
While dad was not much for words he often told me how smart and beautiful I was and never allowed me to think otherwise. He never called me his "foster" daughter, just, my daughter. We had the best time visiting his sister in White Plains, she always had food waiting for us and plenty of room to run around her home!
I had a great respect for my dad but an even greater one after I had kids. I wondered how a man that had to take time to know my mom and her foster and adopted kids, found space in his heart to know and love us like his own and yet, my own dad never tried to find me or verify that I was his. Some of my birth cousins know him, so I know he knows I exist, besides my foster care records list him in writing as my dad. I was looking for A. Evans from Long Island, but then recently I had a change of heart, why look for a man who never took time to look for me.
I had a dad, who loved me, never denied me and always made me feel special. Why not be ok with what I had, I was blessed to have him. A total stranger that claimed me, loved me and died telling me that he was proud of me, what more could a foster girl ask for?
When we think of kids in foster care and how they got there don't just think of the mother being on drugs, neglect & abandonment, think of the father who also helped make that child.
When you see a mother struggling and barely making it, also think of the father, who does not pay child support.
when you see a mother give up, not because she does not love her kids, because she has no love in her life and no support, think of the father.
Perhaps she made the wrong choice, perhaps she should have never gave up but remember she did give birth
perhaps men need to step up their game, especially when mom cant be a mother after doing the hardest part - GIVING BIRTH! I love my birth mom and I understand why she could not care for us and I respect her for allowing someone else to raise us with love, respect and honor.
Special shout to all the dads, single dads who have custody of their kids and are doing all they can to raise healthy kids-clearly this is not for you.
Smile, someone is watching you xo
T
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Foster Care Awareness Month thank you
hi Blog family!
Donna Maddox, Tanya Cooper & Brandy Tulo-Lang Sacapanio 2015
Thank you to all our kind donors who not only gave money but took the time to see what our youth needed! We are now officially a 501c3! None of our staff take a salary, including me!
I have never been so proud to be a Fox Lane High student, as these last few years reconnecting at reunions and finding my
board members:
Megan Castellano, (my co founding partner who helped me start FosterKidsUnite, Inc.
Sara Amuso
Judy Fazzinga
and Iris Carvahlo
i have been so blessed to have talented woman on board and a great man who helps us with our website, Dave L - we thank you!
We also thank you Mayor Michael Cindrich for always supporting foster youth in our area! We also thank The Examiner News paper for sending Laura to interview us!
i will share an article about our event in the future, (when i scan..)
but first i must say "The Reality Of Aging Out" Panel was a success! We got rave reviews from many people, 4th year attenders said the panel was "amazing", "informative" and "enlightening"!
* Thank you Brandy Tulo-Lang, Donna Maddox & Moi!! (lol)for not only sharing your story but delivering a message of hope to our foster and aged out youth!
Agency's often hire fancy speakers but who else can tell a story but those who went through it?
When it comes to foster care, foster and former fosters should be the ones they call on to bring a message, as we lived it! I hope fosters start delivering and sharing their own message as independent speakers, many have stories.
The food was phenomenal, as always Bedford Hills Diner, Mount Kisco Dinner, Salsa Fresca and bellizzi!!
we gave away two scholarships this year instead of winners receiving they received $500 each and our honorable mentions, because of kind donors, received $200 a piece!
We are blessed!
Yes, i had a message today but short...lol
whatever you dream, dream it big! Nothing God can't do! If you have faith and take action WHEN you can, anything GOOD can happen in your life, at any moment, IF you have faith and perseverance!
I always felt left out as a foster kid, even now i am surrounded by many people but at times a sense of loneliness hovers over me, I can not only admit this today, but i am ok and realize i am never alone. All through my life, neglect, abandonment and abuse, God has always held my hand and comforted me, that is why i am standing (in good mind) today! No matter what you are going though, keep faith and never take no for an answer when it comes to you. Don't allow others to treat you like 2nd best.
Mount kisco Mayor Michael Cindrich & Brandy Tulo-Lang Sacapanio recieving "Citizen Of Change" award May 21, 2015
 |
| Tanya and Robert Cooper after foster care, this is how I honor my brother, R.I.P Coop June 10, 2009 he died from heart disease July 22 is his birthday |
Thank you to all our kind donors who not only gave money but took the time to see what our youth needed! We are now officially a 501c3! None of our staff take a salary, including me!
I have never been so proud to be a Fox Lane High student, as these last few years reconnecting at reunions and finding my
board members:
Megan Castellano, (my co founding partner who helped me start FosterKidsUnite, Inc.
Sara Amuso
Judy Fazzinga
and Iris Carvahlo
i have been so blessed to have talented woman on board and a great man who helps us with our website, Dave L - we thank you!
We also thank you Mayor Michael Cindrich for always supporting foster youth in our area! We also thank The Examiner News paper for sending Laura to interview us!
i will share an article about our event in the future, (when i scan..)
but first i must say "The Reality Of Aging Out" Panel was a success! We got rave reviews from many people, 4th year attenders said the panel was "amazing", "informative" and "enlightening"!
* Thank you Brandy Tulo-Lang, Donna Maddox & Moi!! (lol)for not only sharing your story but delivering a message of hope to our foster and aged out youth!
Agency's often hire fancy speakers but who else can tell a story but those who went through it?
When it comes to foster care, foster and former fosters should be the ones they call on to bring a message, as we lived it! I hope fosters start delivering and sharing their own message as independent speakers, many have stories.
The food was phenomenal, as always Bedford Hills Diner, Mount Kisco Dinner, Salsa Fresca and bellizzi!!
we gave away two scholarships this year instead of winners receiving they received $500 each and our honorable mentions, because of kind donors, received $200 a piece!
We are blessed!
Yes, i had a message today but short...lol
whatever you dream, dream it big! Nothing God can't do! If you have faith and take action WHEN you can, anything GOOD can happen in your life, at any moment, IF you have faith and perseverance!
I always felt left out as a foster kid, even now i am surrounded by many people but at times a sense of loneliness hovers over me, I can not only admit this today, but i am ok and realize i am never alone. All through my life, neglect, abandonment and abuse, God has always held my hand and comforted me, that is why i am standing (in good mind) today! No matter what you are going though, keep faith and never take no for an answer when it comes to you. Don't allow others to treat you like 2nd best.
Saturday, May 16, 2015
May 21 2015 Mount Kisco Public Library The Reality of Aging out panel
hey blog family!
when you fall down, get back up again and again, eventually- u will learn to fall gracefully OR learn to get up after each fall!
Take ownership when you fall down, that is the important to know that you COULD have done better
TRY AGAIN, giving up not an option!
I hope to see some of you
Time: Thursday 4:30
Where: Mount Kisco Library-100 East Main St,
Mount Kisco, NY 10549
* this is a FREE event to raise awareness on foster care issues. *
I honor my deceased brother who grew up with me in foster care but died of heart disease at 41 6 years ago!
This year we have "The Reality Of Aging Out Panel" - 3 former fosters: Donna, Brandy & Tanya will share the experience the day they aged out of foster care!
*First audience member seated receives a free hand crafted piece of jewelry! *refreshments for attendees after
**RSVP FosterKidsUniteInc@gmail.com
we are on FB FosterKidsUnite, Inc group
when you fall down, get back up again and again, eventually- u will learn to fall gracefully OR learn to get up after each fall!
Take ownership when you fall down, that is the important to know that you COULD have done better
TRY AGAIN, giving up not an option!
I hope to see some of you
Time: Thursday 4:30
Where: Mount Kisco Library-100 East Main St,
Mount Kisco, NY 10549
* this is a FREE event to raise awareness on foster care issues. *
I honor my deceased brother who grew up with me in foster care but died of heart disease at 41 6 years ago!
This year we have "The Reality Of Aging Out Panel" - 3 former fosters: Donna, Brandy & Tanya will share the experience the day they aged out of foster care!
*First audience member seated receives a free hand crafted piece of jewelry! *refreshments for attendees after
**RSVP FosterKidsUniteInc@gmail.com
we are on FB FosterKidsUnite, Inc group
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
MAY 21 MOUNT KISCO PUBLIC LIBRARY FREE EVENT
so much going on but nothing as important as National Foster Care Awareness Month! Yes, that zip is incorrect its 10549, it has been corrected and the most important part, you know that we would love to see you! Free food after and first attender receives a hand crafted piece of jewelry!
National Foster Care Awareness Month
Hi blog family!
The Reality of Aging out Panel will be sharing personal stories on the day they aged out, please join us. It is not too often you get 3 former fosters and an adoptee in one room to share! This is our 4th year raising awareness in Westchester. Thanks to our kind donors, we hope to honor 6 young people that are in or on their way to school!
We will also honor those who work with foster or adopted youth in some capacity. We need your help, all you have to do is RSVP FosterKidsUnite.org or join FosterKidsUnite, Inc on Face book! We want to fill that room to capacity so come out and lets celebrate our youth that are trying to make it without parents. We want them to know they have a great community on their side!
Remember: Sometimes our parents are only a VEHICLE to get us here, we have to do the work and let others lead us to our greatness! You are not defined by your current event but your future outcome!
May 21st- lets fill the room! Don't forget to purchase (amazon) a book for a foster youth, all proceeds go to FosterKidsUnite, Inc. We are a not for profit providing non traditional services to aged out fosters in or going to college
www.fosterkidsunite.org
The Reality of Aging out Panel will be sharing personal stories on the day they aged out, please join us. It is not too often you get 3 former fosters and an adoptee in one room to share! This is our 4th year raising awareness in Westchester. Thanks to our kind donors, we hope to honor 6 young people that are in or on their way to school!
We will also honor those who work with foster or adopted youth in some capacity. We need your help, all you have to do is RSVP FosterKidsUnite.org or join FosterKidsUnite, Inc on Face book! We want to fill that room to capacity so come out and lets celebrate our youth that are trying to make it without parents. We want them to know they have a great community on their side!
Remember: Sometimes our parents are only a VEHICLE to get us here, we have to do the work and let others lead us to our greatness! You are not defined by your current event but your future outcome!
May 21st- lets fill the room! Don't forget to purchase (amazon) a book for a foster youth, all proceeds go to FosterKidsUnite, Inc. We are a not for profit providing non traditional services to aged out fosters in or going to college
www.fosterkidsunite.org
Sunday, April 5, 2015
sad times can be made into great lessons
Hi blog family!
Happy Easter to you all, I pray that you are all safe, well and with health & LOVE, the greatest gift on earth!
We are working hard for our event May 21st at The Mount Kisco Public Library 4:30-6pm and we are working on our event flyer!
Our panel: Brandy, Tanya, Donna & Robert will Discuss the day they aged out: The Reality of Aging out" panel and Robert Hafetz will end our panel with thoughts on how we can help foster and adopted children!
Free event- refreshments for guest after! First seated at 4:30pm wins earrings or bracelet crafted by Tanya!
* Our goal to help with scholarships this year $2,000 please see our site to donate to our foster youth in college. This is work you often do not see until much later when people like me come back and help others. Even if you can only send $1 it adds up! Unless requested I will mention each donor in our event program as a thanks! Businesses that make a donation of $20 or more we will list your business!
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Sad times come for all of us at some time in our life IF we live long enough. No person is without this sadness that comes more so to those with trauma, abandonment, neglect and abuse issues. No worries, you are human! God NEVER gives you more than you can handle IF you handle...your past.
Try to sit each day and write down things that are good bad and lovely in your past. By 30 years old whatever haunted you from childhood should have been talked about, discussed and put into your mental Louis Vuitton Luggage by now! IF you have not...it may continue to haunt you, making you feel sadder than usual, depressed. Talk to a professional IF you think the issue is causing you to hurt yourself or others OR isolate and be alone MOST of the time.
We all go though ruff times, don't let it get the best of you. When people are negative, when you have past issues that keep coming up in daily relationships or work...work on them and through them DON"T ignore them!! Write it down IF you don't have money for therapy or you may not truest anyone, its ok, but you have to process!!
We all have down days, but you must always get back up brush yourself off and keep moving forward with life. We only get one we can remember...lol (unless u believe in past life)...I never remember mine!! You deserve a great life, great friends, great job but YOU have to go after it with vigor, love and determination to never settle and perseverance to get through life free of any guilt! You are a winner as God made you..(ok for those who may not believe)..YOUR parents, even if they gave us away.....you are alive, that means God, the universe has great need for you and a message you must share to help others!
Write in your journals daily
Meditate daily
pray daily
LOVE daily...if you have love in your heart, all problems dissolve and don't seem so bad because LOVE takes over and even pain, death, sorrow can turn into a lesson to help others. Remember, this life is not about YOU, its about US. Stay strong stay positive, stay with us, as we need you....sad times, has great lessons!
Tanya
Happy Easter to you all, I pray that you are all safe, well and with health & LOVE, the greatest gift on earth!
We are working hard for our event May 21st at The Mount Kisco Public Library 4:30-6pm and we are working on our event flyer!
Our panel: Brandy, Tanya, Donna & Robert will Discuss the day they aged out: The Reality of Aging out" panel and Robert Hafetz will end our panel with thoughts on how we can help foster and adopted children!
Free event- refreshments for guest after! First seated at 4:30pm wins earrings or bracelet crafted by Tanya!
* Our goal to help with scholarships this year $2,000 please see our site to donate to our foster youth in college. This is work you often do not see until much later when people like me come back and help others. Even if you can only send $1 it adds up! Unless requested I will mention each donor in our event program as a thanks! Businesses that make a donation of $20 or more we will list your business!
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Sad times come for all of us at some time in our life IF we live long enough. No person is without this sadness that comes more so to those with trauma, abandonment, neglect and abuse issues. No worries, you are human! God NEVER gives you more than you can handle IF you handle...your past.
Try to sit each day and write down things that are good bad and lovely in your past. By 30 years old whatever haunted you from childhood should have been talked about, discussed and put into your mental Louis Vuitton Luggage by now! IF you have not...it may continue to haunt you, making you feel sadder than usual, depressed. Talk to a professional IF you think the issue is causing you to hurt yourself or others OR isolate and be alone MOST of the time.
We all go though ruff times, don't let it get the best of you. When people are negative, when you have past issues that keep coming up in daily relationships or work...work on them and through them DON"T ignore them!! Write it down IF you don't have money for therapy or you may not truest anyone, its ok, but you have to process!!
We all have down days, but you must always get back up brush yourself off and keep moving forward with life. We only get one we can remember...lol (unless u believe in past life)...I never remember mine!! You deserve a great life, great friends, great job but YOU have to go after it with vigor, love and determination to never settle and perseverance to get through life free of any guilt! You are a winner as God made you..(ok for those who may not believe)..YOUR parents, even if they gave us away.....you are alive, that means God, the universe has great need for you and a message you must share to help others!
Write in your journals daily
Meditate daily
pray daily
LOVE daily...if you have love in your heart, all problems dissolve and don't seem so bad because LOVE takes over and even pain, death, sorrow can turn into a lesson to help others. Remember, this life is not about YOU, its about US. Stay strong stay positive, stay with us, as we need you....sad times, has great lessons!
Tanya
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